The autumn of our life

Autumn is the season between summer and winter. It is the time when the trees shed their leaves and the furred animals grow thicker fur to face the harsh winter ahead of them.

Some people who retire from an active career may think that they have entered the autumn of their lives. While its true that every beginning has an end, the retirement from a career is not the end of life. While trees shed their leaves and look bareen for a while, they do grow again with fresh leaves and brighten us during the spring season.

Similarly, this phase of transition may be a great opportunity to live life all over again. One could pursue one’s passions . We hear of such inspiring stories every day that our glass can never be half empty. It has to be always half full for us if we believe so.

Today I read about a ninety four year young lady contesting a civic elections in Chennai. This lady feels that she still has a lot to give back to society. We have super stars in the film industry who have crossed seventy five but still surprise us with their histrionic skills and are in every ad we see on TV.

Life is all what we make of it. If we live life as if today is the first day of ours, it will be so. On the other hand, if we think that we have reached the end of the road, then we lose hope and even faith in ourselves. It is like driving on a forest road. One needs to believe that the ever twining road will lead us out of the jungle. If we lose hope, we can only end as fodder for the wildlife.

We need to plan for every stage of our life and be willing to unlearn and relearn every day. Technology is transforming our lives every day. We have opportunities to learn from multiple platforms in every sphere. Money may not be a constraint to learn anymore. If at all, there is a barrier, it is in our minds. The sooner we realise it, the better it is for us.

I am amazed at the ability of people of different ages learning different skills at their own will and pace. You can see a child prodigy playing an instrument which an ustad may be ashamed of. On the other hand, I read about a globe trotting lady, who starts her journey to see the world and live her dreams at the young age of 60 and is till pursuing it vigorously at 78.

I spent my entire life in the corporate world of HR. Having spent so, I may think I have mastered this subject. But today I realise I have so much to learn even in a field I have spent my whole career. I do not know much about artificial intelligence, block chain or meta verse and how it is shaping the future of HR. I could possibly spend the rest of my life learning and still may not be able to catch up.

Last but not the least, I have a great opportunity to give back to society. I can share with the world and the younger generation of how not to makes mistakes which I did in my life. I can mentor them and guide them to live life fully.

Autumn is beginning of a new life. We need to realise it.

S Ramesh Shankar

6th February 2022

Life without your parents

 

I was one of those unlucky guys who lost my parents early in life. But on a positive note I realised the value of them ,since I lost them both early. There is always a debate as to whom children adore more – mother or father. Some may say either and some both , but I feel each of them have a different value to the children.

A mother is an epitome of love and affection for most kids. They provide unconditional love and nurture you till you are able to stand on your own feet. A father on the other hand , is the invisible force for most children. Their life gets strengthened by the presence of their father. One may not realise but a father’s mere presence , is like a guide being around you , all the time.

Each of us have a different take on our parents. For me, my mother was a symbol of grit and determination. She fought against all odds to do whatever she could ,for all of us and the family. On the other hand my father was a source of inspiration and an embodiment of patience. I learnt the true value of silence from him. His silence spoke more than his words for me. He was my role model and will always be.

Each one of us have to lose our mother and father ,at some stage of our lives ,unless we are lucky to leave Mother Earth before them. All of us are not privileged enough to take care of our parents when we are independent and they need our support. However, many of us miss them and realise their value much more , when they are not around.

I lost my mother at the age of 23. I was closer to my father than my mother. But I did realise the value of my mother , when she was no more, as I realised later how much she had sacrificed her life for the welfare of others. Her grit and determination to fight all odds were indeed worth emulating. She was a disciplinarian and made us realise the basic values of life through her actions more than her words.

I lost my father two years later at the age of 25. It was a life shattering event for me , in my life. This was the stage of my life when I had just got married and was settling in my career. Losing both my parents at this stage of my life , shook me off the ground. I had always dreamt of taking care of my parents when I settled down in life. I requested my father to come and stay with me after my mother’s death. However, he politely declined since he said my brother was in college and he had to take care of him.

I could not take care of my parents after I settled down in life. But I did realise that I have to be grateful to them ,throughout my life, for what I am today. Although, we hailed from a middle class family , they inculcated the basic values in life and taught us the ethical way of living, through their actions.

Although I do realise that I can never repay my debts to my parents for moulding me into what I am in today, I do realise that I can still respect them by living their values in life. I learnt to “never give up” on anything from my mother and learnt “patience unlimited” and the value of “silence” from my father.

Each of us may identify one or two value from our parents and try to live them ,so that , our future generations can do the same. This may be the best way to express our gratitude to our parents.

Long live our parents.

S Ramesh Shankar

14th January 2022

Snoring & ill behaviour

Snoring is the noise created while breathing through the nose or the mouth, while we are sleeping. Most of us are unaware of the sounds we emit, while we snore. I have been told right from my childhood that at times,I snore when I am tired and sleep to rest.

It is interesting that people who snore are generally not aware of the sounds they emit and how it disturbs people around them. I was in denial till a family member recorded my snoring on video and showed it to me. I was quite surprised.

Today I was sleeping next to my daughter for an afternoon siesta. I could not sleep while she was snoring. Then, I realised how much I could be disturbing others while I do the same.

Snoring is generally involuntary and not in control of the person and the people who snore do not do it intentionally. But the impact snoring has on others ,is also not realised by the person since he/she is not aware of this phenomenon, when it actually happens.

Today I realised that there is a lot of similarity between snoring and ill behaviour. Just as people who snore are not aware of the noise they create as well as the impact on others around them, similarly the people who are ill behaved are not fully aware of the impact their bad behaviour has on others.

While snoring is involuntary, ill behaviour is not out of control, of the individual concerned. However just like individuals who snore are not aware , similarly sometimes people who behave badly are not aware of the impact they have on others.

Today I realised the impact of snoring on others when I experienced the noise and how it impacted my sleep. Similarly, if someone is able to show the mirror to the people, who are ill behaved through specific examples of their ill behaviour and the adverse impact it has on people around them, they may change their behaviour.

I can confess that I do snore even today occasionally ,especially when I am tired but I am fully aware of how I disturb others around me. Similarly I was quite short tempered during the early phase of my career and life. I learnt to gain patience from my father and also the feedback I got from my seniors at work and even my own family members. This made me realise that just like my snoring, my ill temper impacts people around me adversely.

While it may be difficult to control my snoring, it is possible to control my temper and improve my behaviour. Today I can say I am quite patient and lose my temper rarely. This has been possible mainly because of the mirror shown to me by own family members at home and colleagues at work.

It may be worthwhile to realise that what is involuntary like snoring, may be difficult to control but what is in our control , like our temper, is in our hands to regulate. We need to be aware of the impact our behaviour has on others and then be open to feedback. It is possible to change and control the same.

Let us begin today to control what we can like our temper and be aware of what we cannot like our snoring.

 

S Ramesh Shankar

13th Jan 2022