Everything is temporary in life

Same tree, different season. Remember, everything is temporary.

I love this picture. It made me realise that nothing is permanent in life. We are enthralled with some good happenings in life and we think that life is going to be happy forever. This may not happen. On the other hand, when we are confronted with some tragedies in life , we are heart broken and lose our self belief. It may shatter us and we may think that life is coming to a grinding halt.

The truth is that nothing is permanent in life. Everything is temporary and has an expiry date. It is almost like every product which we buy has an expiry date and cannot be used ,after that date. Similarly, joy or sorrow, is ephemeral. Nothing lasts forever.

I can narrate a lot of incidents and share how it impacted me. I almost believed that Life has come to a dead end. I lost belief in God and in myself. But then ,over time, I realised that everything is temporary in life.

Just as the leaves are shredded by the tree during autumn and they get them back during spring, so is joy and sorrow. They possibly alternate in our lives to keep us grounded ,always. We may fly in the sky with some happy news and drown in the oceans ,when we are burdened by tragedies. But, life teaches us that all these are cyclic and do not last forever.

Let me illustrate this with a few real life experiences – both in my personal life and work. Let me start with my life. I lost both my parents at an early age. Lost my mother at 23 and father at 25. I had just started my career and felt as if I was pushed below the lowest bed of the Indian Ocean. However, after a few years, life experiences made me stronger, more self dependant and grateful to my parents, for whatever they did, to make me what I am today.

Similarly, at the workplace, I lost a promotion at an early stage in my career. I thought I was doing well at work and was recognised regularly for my contributions. But, when I was superseded in by a junior, I felt humiliated and felt as if it was the end of my career. However, the reality is that ,this propelled me to take up challenging career moves and thus made me realise my career dreams successfully.

I have also met many people in my life, who have gained and lost in many ways. When you gain something, you tend to feel elated and when you lose, you are down under. However, if and when, you realise that nothing is going to last forever, it gives you the resilience, to get over both, with ease.

It may be easier to write about it ,rather than experience in real life. However, having experienced it in many ways in my life, I can confidently state ,that it is the truth of life. The sooner we realise this, the better it is, for our well being. Nothing will last forever. No storm or earthquake lasts forever. They come and go. Life is no different.

Let us learn to accept ,that everything is temporary in life ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th June 2025

Expect nothing in life…

“Expect nothing and everything becomes a gift. Disappointment is the tax on unrealistic hopes.” – Vintage prudence.

I saw this quote accidentally and it taught me ,a great life lesson. Another beautiful quote, which has always inspired me is “Frustration is the gap between achievement and hope”.

If we are able to live life without expecting anything, we may be happy, with whatever we get in life. In my life book, life is all about contentment and gratitude. We need to be content with whatever we have and we need to be ever grateful to the people in our lives, who have made it possible, for us.

We tend to expect a lot of things in life ,even before we set our foot forward. So, when we do not realise most of them, we are disappointed. Is it realistic to expect nothing in life ? May not be. But, to expect things realistically, it may be possible.

We give our exams in school and college and we know realistically ,how we have fared. So, we may not get disappointed with results if we get what we expect, whenever they are announced. But if we are sure, we have not done well and still expect to top the class, we are thoroughly disappointed.

Life is no different. Our expectations have to be grounded in reality. Our realistic goals embeded with our hard work and focussed efforts, will lead us to ,what we want to achieve. However, in reality, our dreams are generally ambitious. Our efforts are mediocre and hence when we do not achieve our set goals, we get frustrated.

A sportsperson preparing for the olympics ,works for years, to achieve her goal. She works ,day in and night out ,to represent her country and stand on the podium with a medal. Her efforts will determine the colour of her medal. She does her best and if she wins , she is happy but if she loses, she is aware that she could not match ,the best in the world.

We need to live life ,that way. The less we expect, the lesser will be our disappointment. The recent pandemic of Covid across the world , taught us great life lessons. We realised how privileged we are. We could survive months ,without going to the workplace. Many of us did not lose our jobs. We could eat and live healthily and our family and friends supported us.

On the other hand, many daily wage earners lost their job and their livelihoods. Many lost their lives ,as they could not sustain ,on the onslaught of the virus. We need to realise that gratitude is critical for happiness in life. We have to be grateful for what we have ,rather than worry about what we do not.

Life is a zero sum game. We get what we deserve. We get what we work for. Nothing appears from thin air. We need to struggle today ,for a better tomorrow. No sportsperson wins a championship by luck. He has to work hard, day and night and with sweat and blood ,to be the best in their sport and win a championship.

Let us learn to expect nothing in life and we may rejoice everything we get. This does not mean ,we do not strive and give our best ,to achieve our goals. This only means ,that effort is in our hands and not the results.

Let us focus on our efforts from today ,without worrying about the results.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th June 2025

Perfect spouses ?

“There are no perfect husbands and no perfect wives. But if you keep believing in each other, there will be plenty of perfect moments together.” A nice quote, I came across, which triggered a lot of thoughts in my mind.

The truth of life is that, nothing is perfect. So are partners, in a marriage. There are no perfect husbands, wives or even partners. The joy of life , is to enjoy the imperfection, between us.

Marriage is communion of mutual trust and belief ,in each other. If we trust one another and believe in one another, we will be able to live with each other’s imperfections, have healthy conflicts and find ways mutually ,to resolve the same.

On the other hand, if we keep looking for the perfect spouse to marry, we may have to enter our grave ,as a bachelor or spinster. The reality is that none of us are perfect and that is the basic tenet of life. Even nature teaches us to enjoy the beauty of imperfection. No two leaves will be identical, in the same tree.

I am not sermonising here ,but trying to share my personal experience as a married person, for over four decades. I did marry a person of my choice. However, the truth is that ,we are two independent personalities. We may have a lot in common and many things different.

I am an extrovert whereas I my spouse is more of an introvert. This does not mean ,we cannot live compatibly. This means we need to recognise and respect each others individuality. I love all my cars in black and my spouse likes bright red. This does not mean we can never buy a car. We possibly need to buy a black and red car alternatively to keep each other happy.

We need to let go our egos, to keep the other person happy. We need to recognise ,that we are different and respect the differences. Our ability to adapt and recognise differences ,may keep us together as partners.

There would be conflicts between us and differences to resolve. If any married couple claim that they have never had differences or conflicts, they may be lying. The reality of harmony ,is not absence of conflicts between partners, but their ability to accept and resolve them through conversations, mutually.

We also may sometimes like to tread different paths ,to achieve our life goals. The ability to dialogue and agree on a common path ,acceptable to both the partners ,is based on the foundation of mutual trust and respect. The day we appreciate each others’ individuality and respect differences, we will be able to resolve anything.

Happiness in marriage is not because of absence of conflicts but the presence of the ability to dialogue and resolve differences with mutual respect and adaptability.

Nothing in life is perfect but our ability to adapt to imperfections and appreciate mutual differences, is the key to resolving conflicts.

One of the partners has to let go their ego and be willing to accept that in a particular context ,they could be wrong. This will be the key to success in this relationship.

Let us learn to enjoy the imperfections in life from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th June 2025.