Foundations of life

A building is as strong as its foundation. The stronger the foundation, the longer it lasts ,and survives all natural calamities in its life. Life is no different . In my definition, the foundation stones of life are our parents, teachers, friends/colleagues/life partner and our own self belief.

Let me dwell a bit ,into each block of the foundations of our life. The first block of foundation is laid by our parents. Our mother gives birth to us and our parents care and mould as kids. They are our role models in life and we think ,whatever they do or say ,are the right things in life.

We begin to follow their footsteps and try to replicate their behaviour and values, in our every day life. Most of the time, we do not even question their wisdom and blindly follow their guidance, almost like a religious diktat.

Our parents sacrifice everything for our well being and they care for us, more than they do for themselves. Our mothers sacrifice their sleep, their well being and many a time, their career too, to rear us ,into better human beings.

Our fathers do ,more than they say. Their actions speak louder than their words. They are like the silent torch bearers ,in our lives. They discipline us and guide us to differentiate between the right and the wrong. Both our parents supplement each other in inculcating the right values in our lives.

Then as we enter school, our teachers take over the baton from our parents. They complement the efforts of our parents. Apart from infusing the requisite knowledge and skills, they also open the doors and windows of the world, to us.

The teachers push us, to realise our full potential; hold our hand ,when we fail in our efforts and keep us grounded, when we are successful. They take pride ,in the success of their pupils. Their efforts are felt by the students and parents ,and not necessarily expressed in words or deeds.

Then we get involved with friends, both at life and work. Our friends are like our partners in life. They run the marathon with us. They encourage us to participate and are there always, to share our joy and sorrow.

Friends in life and colleagues at work ,including our leaders ,propel us to move to the next level ,in every phase of our lives. We do get our life partners to join us in this journey and they too play a pivotal role like our friends and colleagues. They show us the mirror and are always beside us , in the thick and thin of life.

Last but not the least ,is our self belief. We need to believe ,that we can dream anything in life and transform that dream into reality, through our hard work and actions. Just dreaming ,may not be good enough. But converting those dreams into reality, is dependant on our own self confidence, belief and consequent actions.

So, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues including our life partners ,lay the foundations of our life. We need to be eternally grateful ,to all of them. We need to believe in ourselves also always,, to convert our wishes into reality ,through our actions.

Let us bow in gratitude today.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st May 2025

Empathy in action

I was recently in a hospital, interacting with a group of doctors. We were discussing the subject of emotional intelligence and how it is applicable to doctors. I was trying to explain to them that in everything we do in life, there is a what and how.

Emotional intelligence teaches us that ,how is as important as the what of things, or may be more. We use our intelligence to do the what and we need to use our emotional quotient ,to do the how. We can always learn the what ,by gaining knowledge and skills but the how has to come from within us and our attitude to life and living.

While discussing this subject, one of the doctors shared a real incident, in the hospital. A child undergoing a critical operation died on the operation table. The mother was distraught with grief. All the doctors and paramedics staff, were equally impacted by this sad incident in the operation theatre.

While everyone was trying their best to talk ,to the mother of the dead child and console her, one of the doctors hugged her tightly ,for two minutes and did not speak a word. This was soothing and brought tears to the mother’s eyes and all the other people surrounding her.

This ,in my view ,is empathy in action. Empathy has to be internalised in all of us. It has to come naturally from within us. This doctor realised that no words can console a mother, who has lost her child. Her natural reaction as a mother herself ,was to share the grief ,by giving her the warmest hug of her life. This act of kindness and empathy ,brought the situation under control.

A great lesson in empathy ,can be learnt from this incident. We all express our emotions ,day in and out ,with family, friends or colleagues at work. We are not aware of how our actions or emotions, impacts others. If we become aware and do our best ,to neutralise the negative impact of our emotions, it can go a long way.

It could be hugging a person in distraught. It could be just shaking hands with a person ,after a heated exchange. It could be saying sorry or seeking forgiveness for our misbehaviour, with a friend or a colleague at work. All these actions are actually displaying empathy, in action.

We need to realise ,that people always remember the way we treated them. They may even forget, what we did for them. I remember ,once a junior colleague narrating a personal incident. When she was going through a personal crisis in life, a senior colleague used to sit down and listen to her issue ,every day without fail and ask if she could help in any way. While the matter was personal, this act of kindness and empathy by her senior ,taught her a great lesson in life.

We need to become aware of our words and actions in everyday life and how it impacts others. Then ,we need to consciously take ,corrective action to assuage ,any negative impact on others, through our own response to them. This will not only help us, evolve as good human beings ,but also help others to get over ,any negativity in their lives.

Let us learn to practise empathy in our everyday lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th July 2025

Try before you quit

One of the best things I admire about sportspersons is that they never give up. They will try and try again and again ,till they succeed. Like we say ,class is permanent, form may be temporary. So is life. We need to at least try ,before we quit.

Many of us tend to give up ,even before we try. All of us ,are not born to conquer Mount Everest. But, if we do not try, we may not really know our full potential. I have heard of many real life stories, where people have shown that they have made the seemingly impossible, possible, just by trying.

Let me illustrate this point ,with some real life examples. One of things we used to do in our annual conferences at work ,was to invite people from different spheres, who have excelled in life. We once invited a marathon runner ,for our conference. This gentleman was in his mid fifties.

When he narrated his story of life, all of us felt, that if we are willing to try, we possibly could achieve ,what we want in life. This gentleman who was in his late forties ,was keen to run a marathon. So, he went to his physician and checked with him if he could practise for the same.

He hailed from a business family and belonged to a state, which is known for connoisseurs of food. He was over weight for his age and the doctor ,as expected ,advised to refrain from this misadventure ,at this stage of his life , so that he does harm his legs. But this friend was not going to give up so easily.

So he went to a sports doctor and asked ,if he could still try. The sports physician told him that he could try ,if he is willing to transform his physical health with diet control and supplement with regular exercises. So he started on the prescribed diet and started short runs on the sea shore, yoga and other physical conditioning exercises in the gym.

The truth is that, within a year ,he ran the half marathon successfully and then the full marathon in Mumbai and now runs around the world and has qualified to become a “Iron man”. So, this story can inspire all of us to try ,before we give up. If anyone is interested, do let me know and I can share a book, he has authored on his life story.

I know of an Olympian. She lost in the first few rounds of Badminton, in her first appearance . But the very next Olympics ,after four years of hard work and diligent efforts ,won a bronze medal for her country. This story is common amongst many sports persons and hence they inspire many youngsters to excel ,in whatever vocation they are in.

As they say, sky is limit for those who dare to dream and then are willing to toil to make that dream a reality. Many of us are great at dreaming but are not willing to put in those hard days and nights of toil, before we succeed and realise our dreams. Either we are not willing to put in that effort or give up even before we try ,stating that it is not meant for us.

Let us learn to try before we quit from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

19th May 2025