Say it…

“Never be afraid to let someone know if they brightened the room they just walked into. Or if something they said inspired you to change..” – Donna Ashworth, “LIFE”

One thing which amuses me ,as to why people are afraid of saying the “truth” to others. It is like someone in the family sings very beautifully and can mesmerise you with her voice ,but we are not ready to say it to them.

I can understand not talking negatively or criticising people, in public. I think it makes sense to appreciate people in public and criticise in private. But, nothing tells us not to say good things about others, as and when it happens.

My son can brighten a room and make people feel positive, wherever he goes. This a positive trait and I admire it in him. I have told him many times and wish I could develop this positive trait too. There could be similar qualities in your family or friends circle. But, most of us are reluctant to tell them.

We tend to appreciate someone, behind their back but are reluctant to tell them ,when they are around. I have never understood this psychology ,amongst human beings. Even parents, do not generally easily appreciate, anything good in their kids. They may even appreciate the neighbours children but not their own. On the other hand, they will pounce on the child ,even for an accidental mistake.

Our life should be like a transparent glass. We should be able to see others and others should be able to see us and our behaviour. The more open we are and more openly we say it, the more ,we will be respected.

Even in organisations, the leaders, who give you feedback on your face, with real life examples are appreciated more than those, who camouflage their feedback and try to shoot through ,others’ shoulders.

I can understand the reluctance ,when there is a negative feedback to be given. But what prevents us from sharing positive feedback. Why cannot a captain ,tell a player that she has played well and we won the match because of you. Or her sportsperson spirit is worth emulating by everyone in the team.

We get ,what we give in life. If we say good about others, we get back good. This does not mean ,we fake about others. If we are not authentic and honest, nobody is going to believe us. We will lose our own personal credibility ,by our behaviour.

The best of leaders in organisations and society, do not hesitate to say what they like and what they see as positives, in others. This makes them adorable and even when they give feedback for improvement, they are taken very seriously.

Let us start practising this with our family and friends from today. If we spot, something good, let us resolve that we will say it and never keep it within our selves. This will not only motivate others but also make us feel good.

Let us just “say it” from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

22nd June 2025

Tree & Seeds

“ If you stand for a reason, be prepared to stand alone like a tree, and if you fall on the ground, fall like a seed that grows back ,to fight again.”

I loved this quote ,as it teaches us a lot of ,basic life lessons. We all are idealistic in our childhood and resolve that we will never give up on any of our basic principles in life. But, as we grow up, we tend to to compromise and let go of our principles for convenience or sometimes for protecting our image.

If we look at trees, especially during a storm, you realise that the tree stands alone and weathers the storm, all alone. It does not worry if any other tree or for that matter any other living being ,is going to support her to withstand the storm.

This could be ,a great life lesson for us. We all would love to ,always stand by our guiding values in life. But when the time comes, we tend to have weak knees and are blown away by the majority, although they may be wrong. If we learn from the tree and learn to stand alone, we may realise ,that our foundations get stronger and we are respected more by others.

It may not be easy to stand alone, in a storm. But our foundational values are tested ,only during difficult times. We may be alone and nobody around, to watch our behaviour. Do we live our values or are willing to compromise ,as it is convenient or satisfies the majority. Sometimes, it may look easier, to run away from a storm and deny the wrongs we did. But we need to remember that ,nobody is watching us except our inner voice.

The best of leaders in organisations and in communities will always stand alone in a storm and face the wrath. They will never allow the storm to impact their team. They will never compromise on their basic beliefs and will be willing to fail rather than compromise. Like a true sportsperson will be willing to lose ,rather than cheat and win a match.

We respect people, who live by their core principles in life. It is not an easy path to pursue, but the more sustainable one. The foundations of core values and beliefs, keeps us grounded and we are always respected ,by our own children and team members.

There could be situations in life, where we may get blown away. Then, we need to be like the seeds, which fall on the ground and sprout again to life. The best sportsmen may lose a match but never compromise on the basic rules of the game. They will bounce back like the seeds and win the match, even after losing a few games.

It is a reality of life, that we may not be able to withstand all the storms in life and sometimes, we may get blown away by the winds. This is perfectly human. But, we need to learn to bounce back and rise all over again.

Let us learn from the tree and the seed.

S Ramesh Shankar

22nd June 2025

Great things happen within us

“If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends, if broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.”

This quote was very insightful for me. Many of us would have broken eggs for our breakfast, many times. We may have enjoyed an omelette but never thought about our action of breaking an egg from outside and thereby preventing a life to begin.

Every change in an individual or society ,begins from a realisation, from within. Imagine a dacoit, who has killed thousands of ordinary people for years. One day, she realises that it is not fair to kill people ,to make a living, when she loses her mother by an irresponsible act of someone. This insight comes within her and she surrenders to the police and leads a normal life, trying to serve the community thereafter, in whatever ways she can.

The freedom movement in India ,may have germinated ,in the minds and hearts ,of some freedom fighters. They thought it was possible and went ahead to challenge the British and win freedom for the country. This proves, that sometimes, enlightenment could be from within an individual and sometimes it could also be ,from a group of people.

In both these incidents, the awakening came from within and not from outside ,just like an egg breaking from within gives life to a chick and not the other way around.

One of the things, which many thinkers recommend is that, we should spend some quiet time, every day. If we close our eyes and think for ourselves in a blank state , We may get thoughts and ideas from nowhere and there could be some “aha” moments in our lives. This we need to experience, to believe.

Even when a popular leader is suffering from a terminal disease, we have heard of miracles, when mass prayers have healed the leader. The power from within us is more powerful than all external powers put together.

When we speak to a tree to bear fruit, since it has not borne fruit for long and we state we will NOT look after her expressing our anguish, it flowers and bears fruits! This may look amusing but it is true that humans do speak to trees and they respond.

We have also heard of mass prayers in almost all religious groups, when tragedy strikes a community. It could be a plane crash or an earthquake, when groups of people pray together for a common cause, the suffering people, feel better and recover faster.

I have seen a Labrador dog sensing her master’s distress ,without a word being spoken between them. This is the inner voice, which we are speaking and could be very powerful.

We need to remember that the force within us is more powerful than all forces outside us. Generally, We tend to focus on outside influencers and thereby blame others ,for our failures. If we focus within us, we may be able to take full control of our lives and make things happen.

Let us learn to look within us.

S Ramesh Shankar

22nd June 2025