Memory

Everything in life ,becomes a memory ,over time. Our childhood is memory today and so is our youth and for many of us ,our adulthood and work life. It is a fact that ,everything in life ,has a shelf life. Just like every product has a life and the expiry date is generally printed on the product packing itself, so are our life spans.

What is alive and real in front of us today, becomes a memory sooner than later. We cannot stop this aspect of life. However, what is in our hands ,is what we do ,so that our memories are cherished by us and others ,in our lives.

If we were a good student and did well in academics, sports or cultural activities, we may be remembered for our accomplishments ,in whatever field we excelled. If we were a well behaved child and disciplined, people will remember us as a role model ,for other kids.

On the other hand, if we were known for our antics and misconducts, we may leave back a negative foot print , for future generations. So, it is a reality ,that our memories are not built on air. Our memories are frozen through our actions of today ,for future generations ,to recall and remember us.

If we do well and behave well, people remember us for our success and our kindness. If we squander our lives and ruin the lives of well wishers, not many would like to recall, what we did in our past. Our actions will always sketch our memories and not our imagination.

Let us realise today ,that what we do today ,is what people will remember as memory, in the future. We may have committed many mistakes in our lives, as all of us are human. But ,we have an opportunity every day in our lives ,to rewrite history or if I may say, create memories for the future.

We have heard of transformed dacoits, who turned a new leaf and led a life of virtues. We have heard of academically poor students, who have become successful in life ,through their hard work and focus, to achieve whatever they wanted ,in their lives. We have heard of successful sports persons, who have not even completed their schooling ,but have become world champions ,in their respective sports.

We need to decide ,what memories we want to leave for our children and future generations. What we do today ,is the mirror of our future for the next generation. We need not spend much time regretting any past actions, which we are not proud of. But, we have an opportunity at any stage of our life to create memories for the future ,through great deeds today.

Let not the past, colour our future. Let the past be learning -lights ,for the present and guiding compasses ,for the future. Our actions are in our hands and we cannot blame the environment or our family, friends or colleagues for them. If we succeed, we can take the credit and if we fail, the responsibility is squarely ours.

So, let the journey of creating memories for the future ,start today with our actions.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st May 2025

Foundations of life

A building is as strong as its foundation. The stronger the foundation, the longer it lasts ,and survives all natural calamities in its life. Life is no different . In my definition, the foundation stones of life are our parents, teachers, friends/colleagues/life partner and our own self belief.

Let me dwell a bit ,into each block of the foundations of our life. The first block of foundation is laid by our parents. Our mother gives birth to us and our parents care and mould as kids. They are our role models in life and we think ,whatever they do or say ,are the right things in life.

We begin to follow their footsteps and try to replicate their behaviour and values, in our every day life. Most of the time, we do not even question their wisdom and blindly follow their guidance, almost like a religious diktat.

Our parents sacrifice everything for our well being and they care for us, more than they do for themselves. Our mothers sacrifice their sleep, their well being and many a time, their career too, to rear us ,into better human beings.

Our fathers do ,more than they say. Their actions speak louder than their words. They are like the silent torch bearers ,in our lives. They discipline us and guide us to differentiate between the right and the wrong. Both our parents supplement each other in inculcating the right values in our lives.

Then as we enter school, our teachers take over the baton from our parents. They complement the efforts of our parents. Apart from infusing the requisite knowledge and skills, they also open the doors and windows of the world, to us.

The teachers push us, to realise our full potential; hold our hand ,when we fail in our efforts and keep us grounded, when we are successful. They take pride ,in the success of their pupils. Their efforts are felt by the students and parents ,and not necessarily expressed in words or deeds.

Then we get involved with friends, both at life and work. Our friends are like our partners in life. They run the marathon with us. They encourage us to participate and are there always, to share our joy and sorrow.

Friends in life and colleagues at work ,including our leaders ,propel us to move to the next level ,in every phase of our lives. We do get our life partners to join us in this journey and they too play a pivotal role like our friends and colleagues. They show us the mirror and are always beside us , in the thick and thin of life.

Last but not the least ,is our self belief. We need to believe ,that we can dream anything in life and transform that dream into reality, through our hard work and actions. Just dreaming ,may not be good enough. But converting those dreams into reality, is dependant on our own self confidence, belief and consequent actions.

So, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues including our life partners ,lay the foundations of our life. We need to be eternally grateful ,to all of them. We need to believe in ourselves also always,, to convert our wishes into reality ,through our actions.

Let us bow in gratitude today.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st May 2025

Empathy in action

I was recently in a hospital, interacting with a group of doctors. We were discussing the subject of emotional intelligence and how it is applicable to doctors. I was trying to explain to them that in everything we do in life, there is a what and how.

Emotional intelligence teaches us that ,how is as important as the what of things, or may be more. We use our intelligence to do the what and we need to use our emotional quotient ,to do the how. We can always learn the what ,by gaining knowledge and skills but the how has to come from within us and our attitude to life and living.

While discussing this subject, one of the doctors shared a real incident, in the hospital. A child undergoing a critical operation died on the operation table. The mother was distraught with grief. All the doctors and paramedics staff, were equally impacted by this sad incident in the operation theatre.

While everyone was trying their best to talk ,to the mother of the dead child and console her, one of the doctors hugged her tightly ,for two minutes and did not speak a word. This was soothing and brought tears to the mother’s eyes and all the other people surrounding her.

This ,in my view ,is empathy in action. Empathy has to be internalised in all of us. It has to come naturally from within us. This doctor realised that no words can console a mother, who has lost her child. Her natural reaction as a mother herself ,was to share the grief ,by giving her the warmest hug of her life. This act of kindness and empathy ,brought the situation under control.

A great lesson in empathy ,can be learnt from this incident. We all express our emotions ,day in and out ,with family, friends or colleagues at work. We are not aware of how our actions or emotions, impacts others. If we become aware and do our best ,to neutralise the negative impact of our emotions, it can go a long way.

It could be hugging a person in distraught. It could be just shaking hands with a person ,after a heated exchange. It could be saying sorry or seeking forgiveness for our misbehaviour, with a friend or a colleague at work. All these actions are actually displaying empathy, in action.

We need to realise ,that people always remember the way we treated them. They may even forget, what we did for them. I remember ,once a junior colleague narrating a personal incident. When she was going through a personal crisis in life, a senior colleague used to sit down and listen to her issue ,every day without fail and ask if she could help in any way. While the matter was personal, this act of kindness and empathy by her senior ,taught her a great lesson in life.

We need to become aware of our words and actions in everyday life and how it impacts others. Then ,we need to consciously take ,corrective action to assuage ,any negative impact on others, through our own response to them. This will not only help us, evolve as good human beings ,but also help others to get over ,any negativity in their lives.

Let us learn to practise empathy in our everyday lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th July 2025