With love, you can get anything done

I was recently enjoying a break at a hill station, along with my spouse. When I was about to take a e rickshaw on the Mall Road for a drop, there was only one seat left and we were two of us. We were willing to take the next rickshaw in the queue. But the rickshaw driver requested one of the seated passengers to take the next rickshaw since he was single and advised us to take our seats in the rickshaw.

We thanked that passenger and also the rickshaw driver and took the vacant seats. On observing this act of kindness on behalf of the rickshaw driver and the passenger, one of the co passengers remarked – “ With love you can get, anything done in this world.” I found this remark of hers, very profound.

I reflected on the same for a long time ,along with my spouse and realised that, isn’t it true that you can get anything done in this world, with love. I recall many instances in my life, where I could get many things done ,because of love.

It could be as simple as requesting a seat in a bus, train or plane to be seated next to your partner or as challenging ,as seeking help of a stranger ,in repairing a stranded car on the highway. Whenever, we speak with love and sincerity and are authentic in our conversation, we generally achieve our goal.

On the other hand, a simple issue can get complicated ,when we tend to use a raised voice or try to show our superiority or dominance. A typical scene could be ,when someone parks his car in your allotted space ,in your gated community. Many a time, we witness a street brawl just to get a neighbour to shift his car out of your parking lot.

One senior colleague of mine always says – “only love is real” – which is so true. When we spread love, we get back love. When we spread hatred, we are responded with disdain. This has a spiralling effect and invariably ends up in an avoidable brawl.

I have met many people in my life, who will always speak with love and affection. When they request for anything, you will never say no, although sometimes their request may even be difficult to fulfil. The reason for saying yes ,is not because you like them, but because of the way they made the request to you.

In life, in everything we do, there are only two things – “What” and “How”. What is the thing we do and how is the way ,we do it. We need Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to do the what and Emotional Intelligence(EQ) to the do the how.

If we recall all our pleasant experiences in life ,right from our parents, siblings, friends, classmates or colleagues at work, we generally forget the what ,but always remember, the way we were treated by them. Just recall the best doctor ,you have met in your life. She may not be the best doctor in her field of medicine, but you still want to consult her only since she listens to you actively and always treats you well.

If we have to enrich all our relationships in life, we have to always realise how we behave and impact others. Our ability to be aware of our emotions and how it impacts others and our ability to manage others and their behaviour ,will make all relationships effective.

Let us learn to live with love ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th July 2025

Live before you die

I am a born optimist. I always believe , that tomorrow is going to be better than today. I believe that there is always a sunrise ,after a sunset. We need to live, before we die. All of us have to die some day, somewhere. But, why do we need to die every day ,as if today is our last day on earth. Why not live and enjoy life ,as if today is our last day.

I remember reading a book on cancer, by a professional . This gentleman was working in a senior position in India. He got selected for a good role in the Middle East with excellent package and benefits. So, he packed up his bags and left. When he landed in Dubai, he was declared unfit for the job ,due to cancer ,during a routine pre-employment medical examination.

The choice before him was to give up in life and die every day for the rest of his life. But he chose to live ,before he died. Yes, he was disappointed of how an unknown disease ,has negatively impacted his life and career. He came back to India and converted this crisis, into an opportunity.

He wrote a book on cancer . His journey of dealing with this disease from detection ,till he was treated and returned to India ,and made this a new phase of his life. His book is inspiring ,to say the least. Many of us with this experience ,would have given up and died every day for the rest of our lives. But, he decided to live every day of the rest of his life, although he knew, death was knocking his doors every day.

Another story ,is that of a teacher I met in my neighbourhood, about twenty five years back, in the city I was working. . This teacher also got impacted by a life threatening disease. She could not afford the treatment but went through this crisis and decided to to live life every day. She lived on hope and inspired hope in the minds of her students and well wishers. She is hale and hearty today and living a contended life ,with her family.

There are innumerable stories in the public domain of men and women, who fight back and face life ,with their backs to the walls. They make the impossible, possible, by their hard work and dogged determination. They do not give up ,against all odds.

I know of children, who lost both their parents ,at a very young age and grew up in orphanages. They dreamt of accomplishing something in their life and they achieved it in spite of ,all possible limitations in their lives. We hear of children of martyrs in the defence forces, who join the defence even after losing their mother or father, in the battlefield.

These stories need to inspire us. We need to learn to live ,before we die. In my book, only the cowards would die before living. There is nothing in this world, which cannot be accomplished ,by individuals with a dream and an ability to “never give up”.

Let us learn to live before we die.

S Ramesh Shankar

19th May 2025

The choice is within us

“ The demon is always within. The goddess is always within. The battle too, is always within. And so is the triumph of one, over the other. Which one, over which one ? That choice is also, somehow always within. “

I may call it the “dilemma of life”. The above quote simplifies for us, the answers to all our doubts in life. Many a time ,when we are struggling to find out what is right and what wrong, we tend to look outside for the answers. But the truth is that ,the answer also lies within us. We sometimes choose the right one and at other times ,the wrong one. But, we may not always take the responsibility, for the consequences.

Let us take the first choice ,most of us make. It may be the academic path ,we choose to pursue. We have a world of information today ,in front of us. We have parents, teachers, friends and well wishers to guide us ,all the way. After considering all that, we make a choice. If it goes well, we are happy but it we fail, we are looking for whom to blame ,for the same.

Next, we choose a career path. After our academics, we are at liberty to choose what we want to do in life. We could pursue a corporate career or an enterprunial one. Either way, we have a lot of resources ,to guide us ,before we take the plunge. Let us assume, we take the plunge to pursue a corporate career and do not do well. We then try to blame someone, and say we were keen to pursue our own business.

Now that we are done with academics and our chosen career path, we are all set to choose our life partner. We have a choice to choose our partner ourselves or let others choose the partner for us. Either way we are not comfortable. When we finally choose, we may again take credit for a a decision ,someone else may have taken.

Life is full of choices. We have a plethora of information to make our choices. We may make some good decisions and at other times, we may falter. But the responsibility of the decision has to always lie with us, irrespective of the outcome of the decision.

Let me illustrate this ,with an example of a sport. When a captain and a coach take a decision on behalf of the team, they have a lot of experience and background information ,to take a decision to bat or field ,in a cricket match. Today ,data analytics ,enables objective decision making. However with all this information , they could go wrong. They could be right or wrong ,at the end of the match. Either way, they have to own up the decision.

Similarly in our life match, we are the captain and the coach – two in one. We too have a wealth of information today ,to make decisions in life. But irrespective of the outcome of our decision, we have to own up the same. We cannot blame the source of our information or others, who may have influenced our decision for the same, if it goes wrong.

To conclude, we may say that the good and the bad, is within us. What we choose ,is also within us. Once we choose, what we choose,to take responsibility for the consequences of that decision, is also within us only.

Let us take responsibility for all our decisions and actions from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st July 2025