I attended a marriage function of a close relative recently at Chennai. It was after quite some time , that I had the opportunity to sit, enjoy and reflect, on every ritual in the function. This gave me an opportunity ,to observe all the happenings around me ,with curiosity.

The first and foremost thing which struck me was that “marriage” is a social institution, which provides an opportunity for extended families of two sides ,to meet, interact, socialise and build ever -lasting friendships.

We meet our cousins, elders, friends and relatives and recall our enjoyable days spent together during our childhood or while we stayed near each other. We also get an opportunity to meet family and friends of the bride and bridegroom’s and this enables us to evolve , new relationships.

I enjoyed all the rituals of the marriage ,like the fasting ceremony, the engagement ceremony, reception and the marriage solemnising ceremony. Each ritual is performed with a lot of thought and social relevance. For eg, the “Vratham” or fasting ceremony done by the girls parents and the boy’s parents ,is an occasion to fast and pray to the Almighty and all elders ,to ensure that a complex function like a marriage ,happens smoothly ,without any disruptions or misunderstandings. They seek the blessings of the elders ,for the transition from bachelorhood/spinsterhood to married couples.

Then, if I move to the engagement ceremony. It is an opportunity to publicly announce that this girl and this boy are getting married. They also announce the details of the family members from both sides for the information of all , as the next day ,the marriage is going to be solemnised.

The reception is a modern day invention but could be considered an opportunity ,to share the joy with family and friends and the community at large. Nowadays, it also includes performances by the family members from both sides, which could help in building better relationships and understanding one another.

The main ceremony of the marriage ,involves the “Kanya dhaanam( the biggest donation in Hinduism), where the father of the girl ,donates his daughter to the groom. In turn, the groom promises to take care of her and his parents will also treat her , like their own daughter. The meaning of sacred marriage mantras ,can teach us a lot of do’s and dont’s ,of life and living.

The variety of food served is also an opportunity ,to understand the tradition and culture of the two families , as they say that the stomach is the way to win over the heart of one another. As the Hindu religion states – “athithi devo bhava”, we need to treat our guest as God. So, all the guests to the marriage from both sides ,are treated well ,in terms of accommodation, food and other arrangements.

Overall, I realise that all of our social institutions ,can teach us so many life lessons ,if we are willing to keep our eyes and ears open. It is upto to us to imbibe these learnings ,by observation and enquiry.

Let us learn to learn from our heritage and culture every day.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Nov 2025

In the recent past, I have seen three high profile exits from the corporate sector. In all three cases, it was the CEO, who left the company. The CEO was appointed with great fan fare and each of them built the company and made them grow ,much ahead of their competition.

I admire all these companies and their former CEOs. I have not worked with any of them nor do I know them personally. But all these are great brands in different sectors, are publicly listed and admired by their share holders.

Interestingly these companies operate in different geographies ,of the world. They are global and regional in the markets ,they operate. They have survived, grown and are successful since many decades.

I do understand that it is the prerogative of the promoters or the majority shareholders to decide who the CEO of the company would be and how long they would continue. They have a right to decide the person and their tenure. My concern is not on the who the CEO would be and how long they are in office. My worry is that ,after each of them have successfully run your organisation for many years, you abruptly ask them to leave and deal with their exit ,in an undignified manner.

I am sure ,due process may have been followed to appoint and terminate the services of their CEOs in each of the three companies. Their board of directors would have passed a resolution , both for their appointment and their termination. But, the way the process has been handled , needs a lot to be desired.

Being a life long HR professional, I have always professed that every employee who leaves the organisation ,for whatever reason ( except for ethics or integrity issues) needs to be dealt with dignity ,while they leave. We need to remember ,that every employee leaving us ,is a brand ambassador of the company . He or she will talk about the company, the way they have been treated, after they leave the company.

I cannot imagine a CEO, who has given his or her blood and sweat for the organisation ,to survive and grow in a highly competitive market place ,to be treated in an undignified way and abruptly relieved from the organisation ,with no notice. This not only hurts the reputation of the organisation but also adversely impacts the morale of the employees ,working in the organisation. The employees think that, if this can happen to a successful CEO, what would happen to them, who are lower down ,in the hierarchy.

I do understand that all of us make mistakes and so do the board members. But, one needs to learn a lesson from the mistakes done by other organisations and course correct their behaviour and actions. If we have seen such things happening around us, we have to ensure that this does not happen again ,in our organisation. We can always decide who our next CEO has to be, but to deal with the previous CEO and his or her exit, with dignity and respect ,is our responsibility and duty. This is not only beneficial to the organisation but also ,to keep the morale of the employees in the organisation ,intact.

Let us learn to treat every employee leaving the organisation with dignity and respect and make them our brand ambassadors from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

17th Nov 2025

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The other day, I was watching a TV quiz show, wherein the anchor, one of the leading actors in India shared a quote from his father’s poetry. His father was one of the leading poets of India. It read something like this in Hindi – “ Mere Bete, Bete hone se, mere uttaradhikhari nahin honge, jo mere uttaradhikari honge, woh mere bete honge”. If roughly translated, it means – “My sons, being my sons, will not be my inheritors, those who will be inheritors will be my sons”.

This was very insightful and it is applicable, both in personal and professional lives. Let us first understand this deep thought from an organisational perspective. My true successor may not be the senior most person in my team. The real successor will be the most competent member to take over from me.

Even in a sports team, we have seen it, multiple times. The most experienced player may not succeed the captain, but the successor to the captain is the best player to succeed.

Life is no different. I was surprised to learn recently that the Pandya dynasty kings had this thought in their kingdom. The eldest son need not be the successor of the king, if the king finds someone other son, daughter, nephew or niece, more competent to succeed him. The successor declared by the king is the true inheritor of the king. Imagine a poet in the early 20th century having a similar insight.

What we need to learn from this insight is that we do not succeed anyone by being the senior most in a team or being the eldest in the family. We succeed someone, because we are the most competent member in the team or the family.

Succession has to be earned by our competence and cannot be determined by our seniority or gender. In life and work, we tend to assume many things erroneously. We need to understand everything in the right perspective.

Even as per law of inheritance in India, we do not inherit anything from our parents, if it is a self acquired wealth. Similarly, even in organisations , succession planning does not necessarily follow the seniority principle. Rather, sometimes, successors could even be from outside the organisation.

Even in sports, the most competent leader succeeds the captain and not necessarily the senior most player in the team. Seniority and experience is important but does not give us a birth right to succession.

We need to earn our right to succeed by our competence and character. It does not come by seniority, gender or experience. This is indeed a great insight for us in life and work.

Let us earn our rights from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th Jan 2025