“If you cannot be a pencil to write someone’s happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness. “

I loved the above quote, which I received, in one of my morning messages today. If you smile at someone, you are likely to get a smile back. If you frown at someone, you may receive a frown back. If we have a choice between being negative and positive in life, why do we need to choose to be negative.

If we cannot spread happiness, let us attempt, to at least ,reduce sadness. I would prefer to be positive and be a pencil to write someone’s happiness. But, if we sometimes do not have the opportunity to do so, we can at least be the eraser ,to remove someone else’s sadness.

During the Covid, one of my ex colleagues approached me and asked if I could volunteer for a noble cause. I readily accepted to be a volunteer, since we all were tied up inside our home ,for reasons beyond our control.

The cause she wanted me to volunteer, was to assist individuals and families ,adversely impacted by the dreaded pandemic and who have lost a near or dear one. The assignment was to write “letters of hope” to help families ,get over their loss.

I did not realise the impact I could make ,with these simple letters of love. The impacted individuals and families, also had an option to talk to us, if they so desired. It was an exercise, which made me realise ,how privileged we are ,in every day life.

Every letter I wrote made me cry. It made me realise ,how a loss of parent, sister, brother, spouse or children ,would impact a family. I had to infuse hope through my letters and this gave me satisfaction ,that I could do something ,to the impacted families.

Life presents us with opportunities every day ,to be positive and spread happiness. If sometimes, we are not able to do so, due to our own limitations or due to the environment around us, we could attempt to erase the sadness in others’ lives, which can make them feel better.

If you make someone happy, you become happy, If you spread hatred or sadness, you end up feeling sad. Why choose an option ,which is going to make you worse. Isn’t it better to spread happiness and feel better.

I have met people ,from both categories ,in my life. The people, who spread happiness may not be rich or well to do. But, they invariably have a big heart and are willing to invest their time. We need to realise, that wealth may not make us happy ,necessarily. But spreading happiness ,will invariably make us happy.

We can practise this simple thing, in our every day life. We can start within our families and then spread happiness ,in the organisations we work and the communities ,we live in. I used to share a positive news every morning to all the walkers in my community ,during the covid period. If we cannot do such things, we can visit a friend or relative in distress, be with them, listen to their plight and provide them moral support ,in the best ways we can.

Let us spread happiness and erase sadness, in other people’s lives ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

11th Aug 2025

“ Relationships are like birds. If you hold tightly, they die. If you hold loosely, they fly. But, if you hold with care, they remain with you forever.”

Karma says – “Relationship is not about kiss, hugs and romance. It’s all about trust and never giving up ,on each other.”

I found two interesting quotes on relationships and found them very insightful. Our life begins with our relationship with our parents and siblings. Our parents hold our hands and help us to walk in life. Our siblings are like the support systems ,with whom we can laugh and cry ,as we try to find our foot hold ,in life.

We then grow up and develop friends with our classmates in school and college. We move closer to these friends and they influence us, more than our parents and siblings ,at this stage of our lives.

After our academics, we move on and our colleagues at the work places, are our best friends in life. As we move from one relationship to another, we realise that each has its value and has a timeline ,attached to it. Some of them sustain themselves ,while others fade with time.

We then get married and have our life partners with us. This relationship is complex but real. We have either chosen each other out of our own volition or gone by the choice of others. Either way, it evolves over time and we start depending on one another, for our sustainable living.

All the relationships, which sustain themselves ,have some interesting similarities. Our siblings are with us right through our lives and during thick and thin, they try their best, to support us. Our classmates may not be interacting with us regularly but some of them are friends for life and we trust their advice always.

Then friends and colleagues ,lay the foundation for a life long journey, for us. Our spouse becomes a partner in life and is willing to walk along with us ,to the peak of the mountain of life. There could be good or bad days in our lives but we go through them together, fight with each other, resolve our conflicts and are willing to support one another.

The first similarity of a good relationship, is its unconditionality. We are not breathing ,on each other’s neck. We let go and are still in touch. I can recall many close friends, whom I may not have even talked over years ,but still close enough ,to seek counsel, when I need them.

When relationships become conditional – we tend to use and throw. Such relationships ,do not last a life time. It is like holding a bird tight and it dies. We need to learn to invest in every relationship, we want to nurture in life.

At the same time, relationships are not about hugs and kisses every day, like the compatible life partners teach us. They trust one another and care for one another ,without expecting anything, in return. Trust is a two way street. We get ,what we give to others. We need to remember that we earn trust by our deeds and actions ,and not by our words of intent.

In order to nurture a good relationship, we need to earn mutual trust, care unconditionally, let go and give space to one another. At the same, always be accessible and available to one another, when they need us the most.

From now on, let us try it.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st July 2025