Category: Life & Living

Everything is temporary in life

Same tree, different season. Remember, everything is temporary.

I love this picture. It made me realise that nothing is permanent in life. We are enthralled with some good happenings in life and we think that life is going to be happy forever. This may not happen. On the other hand, when we are confronted with some tragedies in life , we are heart broken and lose our self belief. It may shatter us and we may think that life is coming to a grinding halt.

The truth is that nothing is permanent in life. Everything is temporary and has an expiry date. It is almost like every product which we buy has an expiry date and cannot be used ,after that date. Similarly, joy or sorrow, is ephemeral. Nothing lasts forever.

I can narrate a lot of incidents and share how it impacted me. I almost believed that Life has come to a dead end. I lost belief in God and in myself. But then ,over time, I realised that everything is temporary in life.

Just as the leaves are shredded by the tree during autumn and they get them back during spring, so is joy and sorrow. They possibly alternate in our lives to keep us grounded ,always. We may fly in the sky with some happy news and drown in the oceans ,when we are burdened by tragedies. But, life teaches us that all these are cyclic and do not last forever.

Let me illustrate this with a few real life experiences – both in my personal life and work. Let me start with my life. I lost both my parents at an early age. Lost my mother at 23 and father at 25. I had just started my career and felt as if I was pushed below the lowest bed of the Indian Ocean. However, after a few years, life experiences made me stronger, more self dependant and grateful to my parents, for whatever they did, to make me what I am today.

Similarly, at the workplace, I lost a promotion at an early stage in my career. I thought I was doing well at work and was recognised regularly for my contributions. But, when I was superseded in by a junior, I felt humiliated and felt as if it was the end of my career. However, the reality is that ,this propelled me to take up challenging career moves and thus made me realise my career dreams successfully.

I have also met many people in my life, who have gained and lost in many ways. When you gain something, you tend to feel elated and when you lose, you are down under. However, if and when, you realise that nothing is going to last forever, it gives you the resilience, to get over both, with ease.

It may be easier to write about it ,rather than experience in real life. However, having experienced it in many ways in my life, I can confidently state ,that it is the truth of life. The sooner we realise this, the better it is, for our well being. Nothing will last forever. No storm or earthquake lasts forever. They come and go. Life is no different.

Let us learn to accept ,that everything is temporary in life ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th June 2025

Understanding your mother

I am a proud Hindu and consider Hinduism ,as one of the most liberal religions in the world. Hinduism gives me the liberty and space, to practise the religion the way I want to ,and I love that. I have never been a great believer, in many of the rituals of Hinduism.

However, of late, as I experienced some of the rituals, I realise the value of each of them. I was recently on a pilgrimage to Rameshwaram, Varnasi, Prayagraj and Gaya to perform Shradh ( death rituals) of my parents, who died almost four decades back. This is a ritual, which is performed by children for their parents and forefathers ,at least once in their life time and is considered sacrosanct.

The belief is that, if you perform this ritual ,your parents and forefathers will be liberated from the cycle of life and death and will attain moksha (or we may salvation) for themselves. I performed this ritual with my spouse, with sincere devotion and completed it, over three weeks, in the month of March.

While I was performing this ritual in Gaya, which is one of the holy places, where you perform this ritual, the Pandit ( learned guru) explained to us ,why we need to be grateful to our mothers ,in our lives. He explained the whole cycle of life right from conception in the womb of our mothers till our life time, He also explained how our mothers sacrifice everything to make us live and be prosperous.

The day the mother learns about conception and it is confirmed, she is joyous about impending birth of her child. But , she experiences physical and emotional distress. She may have nausea, vomiting, sleeplessness and a lot of other known and unknown physical distresses, which needs to be experienced ,to be understood.

Then in the first trimester of pregnancy, while the mother is taken care of by her parents and family, with nutritious food and care , she sacrifices her sleep, her physical and emotional health ,for the welfare of the child. She may give up her career, her sleep, her food habits, her hobbies and many other good things in her life ,for the good of her child in the stomach.

The second trimester the child grows in the womb and the mother being inexperienced ,has to take extra care ,not to hurt the child physically or emotionally. She is willing to sacrifice a lot of life’s pleasures, to rear the child in her womb and ensure a healthy delivery.

The final trimester may be as challenging ,as the first two. The mother feels the motions of the child inside her, at odd hours. She wakes up in the middle of the night and sits down, so as to allow the child to sleep peacefully. She may listen to music or even sing to keep the child calm and undisturbed.

Then the delivery happens and the first five years ,are still a big struggle for the mother and father ,to take care of the child. The father supports the mother to take care of the child ,but the pains and tribulations of the mother, has to be experienced to be believed.

If we look back, many of us ,may take our parents for granted and especially our mother. We are not aware of the unlimited sacrifices they make, for our well being. This ritual brought tears to my eyes ,as the Pandit narrated all the sacrifices of the mother ,in great details.

I bow in gratitude to my mother and salute all the mothers, who have sacrificed so much ,for their children. I have seen my sisters, my spouse and even my daughter , go through this phase of motherhood.

Let us learn to grateful to our mothers and commit to take care of them, right through our lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st May 2025

Foundations of life

A building is as strong as its foundation. The stronger the foundation, the longer it lasts ,and survives all natural calamities in its life. Life is no different . In my definition, the foundation stones of life are our parents, teachers, friends/colleagues/life partner and our own self belief.

Let me dwell a bit ,into each block of the foundations of our life. The first block of foundation is laid by our parents. Our mother gives birth to us and our parents care and mould as kids. They are our role models in life and we think ,whatever they do or say ,are the right things in life.

We begin to follow their footsteps and try to replicate their behaviour and values, in our every day life. Most of the time, we do not even question their wisdom and blindly follow their guidance, almost like a religious diktat.

Our parents sacrifice everything for our well being and they care for us, more than they do for themselves. Our mothers sacrifice their sleep, their well being and many a time, their career too, to rear us ,into better human beings.

Our fathers do ,more than they say. Their actions speak louder than their words. They are like the silent torch bearers ,in our lives. They discipline us and guide us to differentiate between the right and the wrong. Both our parents supplement each other in inculcating the right values in our lives.

Then as we enter school, our teachers take over the baton from our parents. They complement the efforts of our parents. Apart from infusing the requisite knowledge and skills, they also open the doors and windows of the world, to us.

The teachers push us, to realise our full potential; hold our hand ,when we fail in our efforts and keep us grounded, when we are successful. They take pride ,in the success of their pupils. Their efforts are felt by the students and parents ,and not necessarily expressed in words or deeds.

Then we get involved with friends, both at life and work. Our friends are like our partners in life. They run the marathon with us. They encourage us to participate and are there always, to share our joy and sorrow.

Friends in life and colleagues at work ,including our leaders ,propel us to move to the next level ,in every phase of our lives. We do get our life partners to join us in this journey and they too play a pivotal role like our friends and colleagues. They show us the mirror and are always beside us , in the thick and thin of life.

Last but not the least ,is our self belief. We need to believe ,that we can dream anything in life and transform that dream into reality, through our hard work and actions. Just dreaming ,may not be good enough. But converting those dreams into reality, is dependant on our own self confidence, belief and consequent actions.

So, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues including our life partners ,lay the foundations of our life. We need to be eternally grateful ,to all of them. We need to believe in ourselves also always,, to convert our wishes into reality ,through our actions.

Let us bow in gratitude today.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st May 2025