The last journey


I had gone for my morning walk today as I do everyday.  I go to a beautiful park opposite to my house and it is along the Arabian Sea.  The greenery of the park and the sound of the morning waves from the sea apart from the chirping birds make my day fresh and wonderful.  So, today was no exception to this great start to my day.  However, as I was making my final round I witnessed an unusual incident.

I saw a dog pulling a dead crow, which had died on the sea shore and pulling it to a grass lawn to have it as her morning breakfast.  What was astonishing was to see a cluster of crows in the sky ,following the dog screaming and announcing the death of the crow.  While the dog was least impacted by the shrieking of the crows above her, it really moved me as to how the crows were mourning for the last journey of one of their siblings.  They seem to be hurt that it died on the sea shore and had become fodder for the dog.

While this may be a stray incident, it stirred the emotions in me.  I have always been told from my childhood that it is ok if you do not visit a friend or a relative on the good news of the birth of a child in their family.  This is because you could always do so sometime in the future.  But, if you come to know the sad demise of a friend or relative and if you are in town, you should never miss the last journey of the person who has died.  This is because you will never be able to see that person again and it will his last journey on earth till the graveyard.

I am not sure how many of us realize this as human beings.  We are so caught up with our daily chores that we hardly have the time for our family or friends to share their joy or sorrow.  We neither have the time nor the inclination to visit anyone.  The herd of crows reminded me of how even birds and animals are more human than us.  They gathered together and mourned the death of another crow and screamed down to the dog to spare the dead crow alone.  Why cannot we as human beings learn from birds and animals if we are not able to learn it ourselves ?

The lesson for me today was that we need to find time for our beloved ones.  It could be to celebrate together a joyous occasion.  It could be to mourn the death of a near or dear one.  Especially in the latter case, life does not give us a second chance.  If we as human beings  think we are superior to animals and birds our behaviour has to prove it.  The crows made me realize that may be we still have a long way to go.

It is time to wake up.  It is time to find time for others.  How long will we justify our lack of etiquette to lack of time ?  How long will we run the rat race ? .  We may  realize that there is nobody to run the race with us anymore and then it may be too late.  It is time to realize and wake up now.  Let us resolve to ourselves that even if we do not have time to share joy, let us ensure that we will be around to share the sorrow of others always.

If crows can show humanity, I have not doubt, humans also can.  It is only our ability to reflect and resolve.  It is our ability to prioritise and act on our resolve.  If we think we can, we will.  The time to start is today.

Let us just do it.

S Ramesh Shankar

Terrorism 


We see innocent human beings – women, men and children of all religions, caste and communities being killed by a phenomenon called terrrorism.
While everyone condemns terrorism in all its forms, there are some countries and states, which directly or indirectly support it.

It is time for all countries of the world to unite and fight and eliminate terrorism. How can any human being kill other human beings in the name of religion or ideology and be proud of it ?

If a family loses a member, it is tragedy. It does not matter which religion, caste or community they belong. We have become apathetic to such incidents. It becomes statistic when reported till you are impacted personally by it.

Every day a human being from the defence forces or the para military forces is killed. This human being belongs to a family and if we put ourselves as a member of that family we can realize the extent of damage and the depth of grief of that family.

Politicians and members of the civil society organise protests more to gain media coverage and cheap publicity. They condemn killing of human beings of a particular religion or caste and make it a public issue. This then gets debated in TV channels as if these debates and protests can help the bereaved family get back their loved ones.

It is time to boycott people who protest for the sake of protest and for the sake of publicity. We need to condemn any killing anywhere in the world and fight unitedly against it.

In my view terrorism has no religion. It has no humanity. It has no principles and it has no morals. It has nothing to do with secularism or democracy. It is inhuman and let us not eulogise it.  

Let us together get to the root cause of terrorism and help our children and younger generations of the future to live in a peaceful world, where everyone loves each other irrespective of religion, caste, creed or nationality.

Terrorism leaves behind families homeless and headless like the remains of a dead honey bee comb(as in the photo above), which once was home to hundreds of bees.

Let us fight for humanity and condemn killing of every human being wherever and whenever it happens and pray for their families. Let us not be selective in criticism and project ourselves as the saviours of humanity, only when it suits us and helps us become TV stars by making arrogant and irresponsible statements to get cheap publicity.

Let us preserve and promote love and humanity in the world.

S Ramesh Shankar

The Indescribale…


There are many things in life, which can never be described.  How do we describe the beauty of nature ?  How do we explain the colours of the sky during a sunset ?  What shades of green can be explained in an ever green forest ?  There are such and similiar situations, where words cannot explain a scene.  I would call them the indescribable moments of life.

I have experienced many moments in life, which are indescribable.  The first and foremost in my mind is the spectacle of nature from morning to night.  Every day when I get up and look at the sunrise and the cloud formation, it is a new picture and changes every second.  There have been days when my wife or me have seen a beautiful skyline at dawn and called upon our partner to have a look and it has disappeared or changed within seconds. 

Life is no different.  We go through ups and downs in life and every moment is precious.  There are moments of joy, when words cannot express our feelings.  We may not be able to share our joy with others or express it ourselves.  It may be an inner feeling of happiness and contentment, which is to be experienced to be believed.  It happens to me in moments of solitude.  It could be a lonely temple or a monastery in a forest.  There is no human being or animal around you but you feel one with nature and this moment can never be described or shared with anyone at that moment.

The situation is similar when we are sad.  It could be a day when you are remembering your parents, who left you on earth decades back.  You recall life’s greatest lesson taught by them and feel their vacuum in your life.  This feeling of inertness cannot be expressed to anyone in words or emotions.  You cry to yourself and sometimes even without shedding a tear from your eyes.  No force on earth can console you during these moments and your tears appear to dry up even before they roll down your eyes.

At work too you have moments, which are not describable to any one.  You feel you are competent to deal with a situation and take on a project based on your likes.  But as you go through the project there are days of despair when you feel helpless and lonely.  You do not feel like sharing this feeling or emotion with anyone around you lest you are misunderstood by anyone.

Even within your family and home, there are moments when you do not want to share your emotions with anyone lest you hurt them.  You may have had a bad day at work but you believe your family members should not bear the burden of your work pressures and hence you hide your feelings.  These moments are equally difficult to describe for anyone who is going through them in reality.

So life has moments of joy and sorrow.  We find it easy to describe some of these moments.  However, there are other moments when words cannot express what we go through.  We neither can share through words nor through emotions what we actually go through.  It is these moments we need to learn to deal with ourselves so that we spring back to balance life our own way.

How can we describe the formation of the clouds and the colour of the skyline during a beautiful sunset on any day as in the photo above ?

Let us learn to live with life the way it is rather than the way we want it to be always.

S Ramesh Shankar

Dilemmas in Life

At every stage of life, we are faced with dilemmas, which are difficult to resolve. I faced one such dilemma in my life today. I was not sure what is the right answer. If I had said yes, I may have been fair to the person and if I said no, I may have been fair to the organization. So either way it may not be the right answer.

One is faced with such dilemmas in every stage of our life. It may start with our studies. Which course should I take and why ? Firstly, we are not sure and then if we seek counsel, we are further confused. We may get contradictory advise from different persons. . Everyone may have your best interest in mind but how do we say yes to one and no to another.

The next major dilemma one faces in life is that of choosing a job. While you qualify for something, you may end up with an offer of employment in some other field. While you want to choose one, your well wishers advise you for something else. Choosing one can please one and displease another.

Another common dilemma is the decision on marriage. Everyone has an opinion on when one should marry and with whom. If your parents are keen for you to marry and you are not ready, it may be a dilemma. On the other hand, if you are keen and your parents want you to wait for a while, you are still in the same situation. What do you do next ?

Yet another common dilemma is a decision to change jobs. You may have considered all options and possibilities but you may end up more confused than before. While your spouse has a view, your parents have the opposite view and your kids have a third opinion. It is not easy to come out of such a web.

Honestly, I do not have a magic pill to resolve dilemmas in life. But, as I reflect I realise one good way to resolve them is to have authentic conversations with all concerned and share the reasons for your choice honestly and either convince them or convince yourself to change a decision.

This may be easier said than done. It may be easier to convince oneself than to convince others. You have to try it to believe it. In my view, convincing oneself to change a decision is as difficult as to convince others. But, this is one way to ensure that you are listening to everyone and taking the best decision in the circumstances you are in.

As in the photo above, you may be reflecting what to do without knowing how to do it in any situation .

Another interesting thing is that all decisions are contextual. Hence whatever you decide is the best in the circumstances you took it in. If it works out, it is great, if it does not, one should not regret it. One could not have taken a better decision at that point of time in your life.

Life is full of dilemmas and hence it is better to face it head on rather than duck.

Try it.


S Ramesh Shankar

Seasons of life


In most parts of the world we have summer, monsoon and winter around the year. Each part of the year signifies something for us. Let us start with summer.  The heat of the summer reminds us of the power of the sun. It helps us gain enough of vitamin D for the rest of the year and also ensures that nature takes care of the excess of water everywhere. It is a also a season of holidays for kids in some parts of the world and time for family vacations.

Then we eagerly await the onset of the monsoon. We get allergic to the heat of the sun and end up with allergies and heat rashes. We pray for early onset of the monsoon and await the forecast of the meteorologist. As the first rains arrive, the smell of the wet mud makes us feel nostalgic and we look forward to a good monsoon. However, cities get paralysed with floods and choking of drains and traffic jams. We then wait for the monsoon to be over and await the winter months.

Winter is mild or strong depending on which part of the world you live in. Either way, the temperatures are pleasant till it starts freezing and the Sun disappears forever. Then we get depressed and feel the absence of the Sun and the warmth. We also have cold waves in different parts of the world and people dying due to very low temperatures and inadequate protection from the chill.

Our life is no different. We have summer, rains and winter in our life too. When we are studying it looks like the long summer with a lot of heat of exams and evaluations. We look forward for a break and it ends sooner than it begins and we have another long academic session. A series of examinations, evaluations and tests is always testing us during this period.

Our youth is like the rains. While it is romantic and full of energy, it does pose us a lot of challenges. We need to get into a job or career and then decide to marry and settle in life. In all these, we face a lot of storms and traffic jams in the form of not getting a desired job or missing a promotion. Then not being able to marry a girl or boy of our choice and then eagerly waiting for a kid. By the time all this is done, the rains of life are over and we tend to lead to adulthood and the winter of our life begins.

As we set into late adulthood and have peaked in our career, we tend to become philosophical. It is like the winter of our life. Our health is impacted in some ways and we feel depressed when our family and friends do not have enough time for us.  No wonder we call it the winter blues.

When summer fades away and the clouds arrive on the horizon, it is the onset of the monsoon.  Life is also like that many a time. While the rains are romantic part of life, it could get flooded with challenges and we have to learn to face it and become a winner.

Thus the cycle of life is of summer, rains and winter. If we decide to enjoy every stage of our life, it is fun. After all, all of us go through it and it is the way life is.
Let us learn to enjoy all seasons of life.

S Ramesh Shankar

There is a time for everything in life …


We sometimes wonder why something never happens when we plan for it but happens when we least expect it.  I believe there is a time for everything in life.  One may call it destiny while others may term it luck.  It is true that things happen when they are supposed to happen and not necessarily when we want them to happen.  Even if we look at nature, it may rain on a hot and sultry summer day and there may be no rain on a cloudy monsoon evening.

Life is is no different.  We all have dreams and desires in life.  We want things to happen the way we yearn for it.  But, it does not always work that way.  If we look at our personal lives, we may have multiple examples of how things did not go the way we had envisaged.  It could be the education we wanted to pursue or the boy or girl we wanted to marry.  Life has its own way of opening itself for us and the way we adapt to it makes us a winner rather than a loser.

I am an avid traveller.  I sometimes love to take off in my car with my family with no destination in mind.  Life in a way is like that.  We may plan for something and something else may happen.  So, it may be the best thing to plan for anything and be ready for the opposite to happen.  The earlier we realize it in life, the better it is for us.  It is so much fun to explore your destination after you hit the road rather than meticulously plan for it and change it based on some road block on the way.

If we reflect on our career, the story may not be very different.  We have to plan for our career and work meticulously to achieve our dreams.  I am not for a minute recommending that destiny will determine your career.  What I am putting forth is that sometimes even in our career, there may be a turning point, which we may not have anticipated.  Rather than cribbing and crying over it, it may be helpful to accept it as a reality and make the best out of this turn.

While it may be easier to state that we need to accept the unanticipated turns in our life as destiny or luck, it may be very hard to digest it as a reality and deal with it.  What are the alternatives before us when something does not go the way we want it.  We can cry over it and feel depressed or take it in our stride and move on. I am recommending the latter approach, which makes you stronger to deal with any conditions in your life.

Even if your look at your family situation, life is not different.  Your kids may strive hard for admission in the best universities and may not get it.  But one fine day, they may get an offer from their dream organisation which they themselves may not believe to be true.  That is the fate of destiny.  While most of us feel low, when things do not go our way, we may not be equally grateful, when things go our way and we least expected it.

Like in the photo above, we least expected snow in April in Munich.  But as it was freezing, it was time to enjoy it rather than crib about it.

I would say that we need to strike a balance in life.  While we should continue to strive hard and plan for our future, we should take luck or destiny as it crosses us in life rather than wait for it.  It is like having your meal in a restaurant on the highway as it comes rather than look for a dream hotel, which may never be spotted till you reach your destination.

Life is full of surprises . Let us enjoy it.

S Ramesh Shankar

Being in the moment…


In life most of the time, we either worry about the past or brood about the future.  We hardly live and enjoy the present.   Why do we fail to be in the present and enjoy every moment ?  This appears a very simple question but most of us have experienced this in our lives and have no answers. If you ask someone when they would be content and happy, they look at something which they hope to happen in the future.  

We can experience this in every stage of our lives.  A student will say that she is looking forward to complete her education and get into employment.  A young professional who has started his career will say he wants to double his income in three years and that may make him happy.  Someone else may say marriage will bring happiness.  For the married, a child is expected to bring joy in their lives.  If you have kids, their education and success in life is expected to give you contentment.   As your children get married, you await the arrival of your grand kids to bring happiness in life.  This is the cycle of the unending quest for happiness in life.

I have always wondered as to why we fail to enjoy today.  We glorify the past or our petrified about the future.  The past is history and we all know that.  We cannot re write history.  The future is mystery and even the astrologers or futurologist cannot predict it accurately.  Then why not live in the present.  One possible hypothesis is that happiness is always relative.  We compare ourselves to the past or to the future and hence this state of flux.

The other theory to explain this could be our belief of fate.  We believe we are destined to be happy or unhappy in life.  If we succeed in life, we say its luck and if we fail we claim it is fate.  Even if we have worked hard and given our best we refuse to enjoy the present.  This fatalistic attitude to life in infused in us.  In my view, while luck and fate may exist, it is we who can make a difference to live happily in life.

I have come across people who are always happy.  The single most factor which makes them happy is that they live in the present.  They are aware of the past and forget it.  They are not clear about the future but do not lose their sleep over it.  They do their best, work hard and enjoy each day as if tomorrow does not exist.  Imagine accumulating wealth all through your life and hoping that you will enjoy it later in your life.  That tomorrow may never come and you may not live to enjoy it and regret not doing so.  So, why not enjoy it today.

I am not saying that we should not learn from the mistakes of the past and be proactive not to repeat them in the future.  I am only saying that we need to learn to live each day as it comes and enjoy every moment in front of us as we experience it.  No two human beings are similar and no two experiences repeat themselves.  We have to give our best at all times and deal with life as it comes.  Like in the photo above, the beauty of nature is there all around us to enjoy every moment of our life every day.

Let us learn to live life each day as it comes.  Let us look at all the positives around us and enjoy today and believe that yesterday is over and tomorrow is yet to come.

S Ramesh Shankar