Many of us crib day in and night out for something or the other. We crib about not having a car or being unhappy with our career or not being able to go on a holiday abroad due to the pandemic.

This cribbing nature starts from our childhood. and continues through our adolescence and even as adults. We die by comparisons in everything from food, material things, vacations and life in general.

The only catch is that we tend to compare with people who are better off than us and not the people who are not as well placed as we are. When someone points out that we need to compare with the less privileged, we shrug it off stating that it is their destiny, what can we do about it. But the same is not our destiny when we compare and feel jealous than the better off than us.

I want to share two real life stories, which can help us reflect on what life has given us and why we need to be grateful for all that we have and not crib about all that we don’t. Both these stories are real and I have personally known them. I am changing the name of the person and place for anonymity and to respect their privacy.

The first story is that of Padma who was a house help in my house in Mumbai. She is married to a carpenter and has two lovely kids. Her husband works in a garment factory. She has admitted both her children in an english medium school since she wants them to do well in their lives.

Padma’s husband is an alcoholic and comes home drunk every day and ill treats his wife and even his kids. Apart from not contributing to the family’s finances, he ends up spending all his money on his drinking habit. He further ends up with huge debts due to this habit. His wife works in 4 houses from morning 830 am to evening 630 pm every day, six days a week and manages all the finances of the house and takes care of her young aspiring children , playing the role of mother and father to the kids.

The second story is that of Radha. Radha lives in a small town of Jabalpur. Her husband was pulling carts and now runs a small petty shop. She goes around as a beautician and earns by giving home service to women who need her services. She had two sons. The younger of the two , died ten years back committing suicide because of the poor condition of the family. Radha along with her husband with their meagre income educated her elder son. He got his MBA and today works in a bank. However, at the age of 25, instead of being grateful and indebted to his hard working parents, has become an alcoholic and misbehaves with his parents, who have made him successful in life.

I had tears in my eyes when I heard both these stories. I have personally interacted with both these women and tried to counsel them in my own way.

It is time to look at our own lives with these lenses of Radha and Padma. If we do not feel most fortunate , then there is something wrong in us. We need to look at the mirror again and again till tears dry up in our eyes.

It is time to reflect and be grateful always.

S Ramesh Shankar

25th March 2022

Autumn is the season between summer and winter. It is the time when the trees shed their leaves and the furred animals grow thicker fur to face the harsh winter ahead of them.

Some people who retire from an active career may think that they have entered the autumn of their lives. While its true that every beginning has an end, the retirement from a career is not the end of life. While trees shed their leaves and look bareen for a while, they do grow again with fresh leaves and brighten us during the spring season.

Similarly, this phase of transition may be a great opportunity to live life all over again. One could pursue one’s passions . We hear of such inspiring stories every day that our glass can never be half empty. It has to be always half full for us if we believe so.

Today I read about a ninety four year young lady contesting a civic elections in Chennai. This lady feels that she still has a lot to give back to society. We have super stars in the film industry who have crossed seventy five but still surprise us with their histrionic skills and are in every ad we see on TV.

Life is all what we make of it. If we live life as if today is the first day of ours, it will be so. On the other hand, if we think that we have reached the end of the road, then we lose hope and even faith in ourselves. It is like driving on a forest road. One needs to believe that the ever twining road will lead us out of the jungle. If we lose hope, we can only end as fodder for the wildlife.

We need to plan for every stage of our life and be willing to unlearn and relearn every day. Technology is transforming our lives every day. We have opportunities to learn from multiple platforms in every sphere. Money may not be a constraint to learn anymore. If at all, there is a barrier, it is in our minds. The sooner we realise it, the better it is for us.

I am amazed at the ability of people of different ages learning different skills at their own will and pace. You can see a child prodigy playing an instrument which an ustad may be ashamed of. On the other hand, I read about a globe trotting lady, who starts her journey to see the world and live her dreams at the young age of 60 and is till pursuing it vigorously at 78.

I spent my entire life in the corporate world of HR. Having spent so, I may think I have mastered this subject. But today I realise I have so much to learn even in a field I have spent my whole career. I do not know much about artificial intelligence, block chain or meta verse and how it is shaping the future of HR. I could possibly spend the rest of my life learning and still may not be able to catch up.

Last but not the least, I have a great opportunity to give back to society. I can share with the world and the younger generation of how not to makes mistakes which I did in my life. I can mentor them and guide them to live life fully.

Autumn is beginning of a new life. We need to realise it.

S Ramesh Shankar

6th February 2022