All of us face ups and downs in our everyday life. However, when we have not done anything wrong from our side and something unfortunate happens, you wonder -“What wrong did I do ?

It could be ,that you had a great run all through the year and you were expecting a promotion and a leadership role ,but at the end of the year, you are denied the same. You wonder – What wrong did I do ?

I surpassed all my targets, I got positive feedback from my manager and he has assured me that I was grooming well, for the next level role. But, when promotions were announced, my name was missing.

You keep wondering and questioning, your own work. However, the reality is that, you have not got recognised or promoted. You may sometimes wonder ,if it is worth working so hard and exceeding all your targets and displaying your true potential.

The truth is that you feel very hurt. It may take a few weeks or even months to recover from this shock. I have experienced this in my career and hence I understand the impact it has ,on the individual.

However, when you recover and sit back and reflect, you realise that you did your best and deserved the promotion. However, if the leadership team including your manager ,did not see that in the same light – it could mean two things. Either, there was not an appropriate opportunity to accommodate you or you did not project yourself enough to be recognised or somebody more deserving than you may have been promoted.

Again, it becomes challenging ,to accept this reality. But, if you are able to get over this initial disappointment, you realise that it is your duty to do your best and present yourself ,to the best of your ability ,to your seniors. If you do not get recognised, it is more their failure , than yours.

It is like ,a cricketer has the highest average amongst all batters in a team ,but she is not selected in the playing level, for the next match. This cricketer will feel highly disappointed ,for not being selected. But, she has to realise ,that her statistics speak ,for her performance. It is more the failure of the selectors ,than the skills of the cricketer.

Life is no different. We may feel disappointed when we put in hard work and do not get the recognition we deserve. But, we need to realise that ,efforts is always in our hand ,but recognition is beyond our control. The best will never rest. They continue to excel and I can assure you ,that they can never be ignored for long.

We need to work hard and put our best foot forward ,in life or work, and leave the rest ,to the people responsible to recognise us. We know for ourselves ,that we have done our best. Let us leave the rest, to the judges of our destiny. Yes, sometimes, they may err in judgement. But, they are also human and so are we. We could feel bad and they may also realise their mistakes ,before it is too late.

Let us continue to strive for the best, without worrying – “What wrong did I do in life ?

S Ramesh Shankar

2nd Jan 2025

I wrote a blog on “How much money is good enough for being happy in life”. On reading this blog and liking it, one of my ex colleagues asked me ,if I could write on “How to balance ambition and contentment”

In my view, ambition and contentment are like goals and happiness in life. We need to fulfill our goals , but when we get greedy, we lose the race of life. It is like ,a sportsperson realises, when to stop playing actively and retire from an active sport. However, if the sportsperson continues to play even though his body signals to stop, he or she may end up with some avoidable injuries.

Life is no different and neither our career nor business ambitions, are. Let me first illustrate this with a simple incident, I experienced in life. We had a chaat shop in our township, when I worked in a steel plant, at the start of my career. This shop still exists at the same place, even today.

It is very famous for their chaats and gulab jamuns. They open at 6 pm and close at 9 pm sharp. When I visited the shop after about 30 years and enquired why they have not expanded or changed ,the owner gave me a very insightful reply.

There is a huge demand for the chaats and gulab jamuns. Customers queue up even before the shop opens and almost have to be evicted, when they shut down. They have more demand ,than they can cater to. He said he earns enough ,to take care of his family and is very happy with the way his business runs ,and has maintained his quality and service. He does not want to get more greedy and destroy his reputation, built over decades. It was a great lesson on contentment in life.

Our careers have to be evolved this way. We need to ,set a goal for ourselves. We need to work zealously ,to reach that goal post. We could stretch ourselves ,if we think we have not yet realised our potential. But we have to learn not to stretch beyond our limits, as otherwise ,we would break down. It is like stretching the rubber band. By instinct, we know when to stop. If we break a few rubber bands, we learn by our experience and stop at the right time later.

So, whether business or an organisational career, we need to set goals and sub goals and strive our best to achieve them. The day we realise that the rubber band in us ,is fully stretched and may now break, we need to stop. It is like ,when a player retires, everyone asks – “why now?”, rather than “Why not now ?

Life gives us ,a lot of innate warnings. We need to learn, to listen to our own body, mind and soul. The individual is the best judge, as to when to stop. A coach cannot and should not guide a player, to retire from a game. It is the player, who has to realise, when to retire with pride rather than being dropped from the team, unceremoniously.

Ambition takes us where we want to go and contentment teaches us when to stop. Contentment and gratitude keeps us happy in life. So, we need to be ambitious enough to achieve our career goals and stop when we feel content. We also need to be grateful to all the people, who made us achieve our goals in life – parents, teachers, siblings, friends and colleagues.

Let contentment help us balance our ambition in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

27th June 2025

I was recently enjoying a break at a hill station, along with my spouse. When I was about to take a e rickshaw on the Mall Road for a drop, there was only one seat left and we were two of us. We were willing to take the next rickshaw in the queue. But the rickshaw driver requested one of the seated passengers to take the next rickshaw since he was single and advised us to take our seats in the rickshaw.

We thanked that passenger and also the rickshaw driver and took the vacant seats. On observing this act of kindness on behalf of the rickshaw driver and the passenger, one of the co passengers remarked – “ With love you can get, anything done in this world.” I found this remark of hers, very profound.

I reflected on the same for a long time ,along with my spouse and realised that, isn’t it true that you can get anything done in this world, with love. I recall many instances in my life, where I could get many things done ,because of love.

It could be as simple as requesting a seat in a bus, train or plane to be seated next to your partner or as challenging ,as seeking help of a stranger ,in repairing a stranded car on the highway. Whenever, we speak with love and sincerity and are authentic in our conversation, we generally achieve our goal.

On the other hand, a simple issue can get complicated ,when we tend to use a raised voice or try to show our superiority or dominance. A typical scene could be ,when someone parks his car in your allotted space ,in your gated community. Many a time, we witness a street brawl just to get a neighbour to shift his car out of your parking lot.

One senior colleague of mine always says – “only love is real” – which is so true. When we spread love, we get back love. When we spread hatred, we are responded with disdain. This has a spiralling effect and invariably ends up in an avoidable brawl.

I have met many people in my life, who will always speak with love and affection. When they request for anything, you will never say no, although sometimes their request may even be difficult to fulfil. The reason for saying yes ,is not because you like them, but because of the way they made the request to you.

In life, in everything we do, there are only two things – “What” and “How”. What is the thing we do and how is the way ,we do it. We need Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to do the what and Emotional Intelligence(EQ) to the do the how.

If we recall all our pleasant experiences in life ,right from our parents, siblings, friends, classmates or colleagues at work, we generally forget the what ,but always remember, the way we were treated by them. Just recall the best doctor ,you have met in your life. She may not be the best doctor in her field of medicine, but you still want to consult her only since she listens to you actively and always treats you well.

If we have to enrich all our relationships in life, we have to always realise how we behave and impact others. Our ability to be aware of our emotions and how it impacts others and our ability to manage others and their behaviour ,will make all relationships effective.

Let us learn to live with love ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th July 2025