I was recently enjoying a break at a hill station, along with my spouse. When I was about to take a e rickshaw on the Mall Road for a drop, there was only one seat left and we were two of us. We were willing to take the next rickshaw in the queue. But the rickshaw driver requested one of the seated passengers to take the next rickshaw since he was single and advised us to take our seats in the rickshaw.

We thanked that passenger and also the rickshaw driver and took the vacant seats. On observing this act of kindness on behalf of the rickshaw driver and the passenger, one of the co passengers remarked – “ With love you can get, anything done in this world.” I found this remark of hers, very profound.

I reflected on the same for a long time ,along with my spouse and realised that, isn’t it true that you can get anything done in this world, with love. I recall many instances in my life, where I could get many things done ,because of love.

It could be as simple as requesting a seat in a bus, train or plane to be seated next to your partner or as challenging ,as seeking help of a stranger ,in repairing a stranded car on the highway. Whenever, we speak with love and sincerity and are authentic in our conversation, we generally achieve our goal.

On the other hand, a simple issue can get complicated ,when we tend to use a raised voice or try to show our superiority or dominance. A typical scene could be ,when someone parks his car in your allotted space ,in your gated community. Many a time, we witness a street brawl just to get a neighbour to shift his car out of your parking lot.

One senior colleague of mine always says – “only love is real” – which is so true. When we spread love, we get back love. When we spread hatred, we are responded with disdain. This has a spiralling effect and invariably ends up in an avoidable brawl.

I have met many people in my life, who will always speak with love and affection. When they request for anything, you will never say no, although sometimes their request may even be difficult to fulfil. The reason for saying yes ,is not because you like them, but because of the way they made the request to you.

In life, in everything we do, there are only two things – “What” and “How”. What is the thing we do and how is the way ,we do it. We need Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to do the what and Emotional Intelligence(EQ) to the do the how.

If we recall all our pleasant experiences in life ,right from our parents, siblings, friends, classmates or colleagues at work, we generally forget the what ,but always remember, the way we were treated by them. Just recall the best doctor ,you have met in your life. She may not be the best doctor in her field of medicine, but you still want to consult her only since she listens to you actively and always treats you well.

If we have to enrich all our relationships in life, we have to always realise how we behave and impact others. Our ability to be aware of our emotions and how it impacts others and our ability to manage others and their behaviour ,will make all relationships effective.

Let us learn to live with love ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th July 2025

“Expect nothing and everything becomes a gift. Disappointment is the tax on unrealistic hopes.” – Vintage prudence.

I saw this quote accidentally and it taught me ,a great life lesson. Another beautiful quote, which has always inspired me is “Frustration is the gap between achievement and hope”.

If we are able to live life without expecting anything, we may be happy, with whatever we get in life. In my life book, life is all about contentment and gratitude. We need to be content with whatever we have and we need to be ever grateful to the people in our lives, who have made it possible, for us.

We tend to expect a lot of things in life ,even before we set our foot forward. So, when we do not realise most of them, we are disappointed. Is it realistic to expect nothing in life ? May not be. But, to expect things realistically, it may be possible.

We give our exams in school and college and we know realistically ,how we have fared. So, we may not get disappointed with results if we get what we expect, whenever they are announced. But if we are sure, we have not done well and still expect to top the class, we are thoroughly disappointed.

Life is no different. Our expectations have to be grounded in reality. Our realistic goals embeded with our hard work and focussed efforts, will lead us to ,what we want to achieve. However, in reality, our dreams are generally ambitious. Our efforts are mediocre and hence when we do not achieve our set goals, we get frustrated.

A sportsperson preparing for the olympics ,works for years, to achieve her goal. She works ,day in and night out ,to represent her country and stand on the podium with a medal. Her efforts will determine the colour of her medal. She does her best and if she wins , she is happy but if she loses, she is aware that she could not match ,the best in the world.

We need to live life ,that way. The less we expect, the lesser will be our disappointment. The recent pandemic of Covid across the world , taught us great life lessons. We realised how privileged we are. We could survive months ,without going to the workplace. Many of us did not lose our jobs. We could eat and live healthily and our family and friends supported us.

On the other hand, many daily wage earners lost their job and their livelihoods. Many lost their lives ,as they could not sustain ,on the onslaught of the virus. We need to realise that gratitude is critical for happiness in life. We have to be grateful for what we have ,rather than worry about what we do not.

Life is a zero sum game. We get what we deserve. We get what we work for. Nothing appears from thin air. We need to struggle today ,for a better tomorrow. No sportsperson wins a championship by luck. He has to work hard, day and night and with sweat and blood ,to be the best in their sport and win a championship.

Let us learn to expect nothing in life and we may rejoice everything we get. This does not mean ,we do not strive and give our best ,to achieve our goals. This only means ,that effort is in our hands and not the results.

Let us focus on our efforts from today ,without worrying about the results.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th June 2025

One of the best things I admire about sportspersons is that they never give up. They will try and try again and again ,till they succeed. Like we say ,class is permanent, form may be temporary. So is life. We need to at least try ,before we quit.

Many of us tend to give up ,even before we try. All of us ,are not born to conquer Mount Everest. But, if we do not try, we may not really know our full potential. I have heard of many real life stories, where people have shown that they have made the seemingly impossible, possible, just by trying.

Let me illustrate this point ,with some real life examples. One of things we used to do in our annual conferences at work ,was to invite people from different spheres, who have excelled in life. We once invited a marathon runner ,for our conference. This gentleman was in his mid fifties.

When he narrated his story of life, all of us felt, that if we are willing to try, we possibly could achieve ,what we want in life. This gentleman who was in his late forties ,was keen to run a marathon. So, he went to his physician and checked with him if he could practise for the same.

He hailed from a business family and belonged to a state, which is known for connoisseurs of food. He was over weight for his age and the doctor ,as expected ,advised to refrain from this misadventure ,at this stage of his life , so that he does harm his legs. But this friend was not going to give up so easily.

So he went to a sports doctor and asked ,if he could still try. The sports physician told him that he could try ,if he is willing to transform his physical health with diet control and supplement with regular exercises. So he started on the prescribed diet and started short runs on the sea shore, yoga and other physical conditioning exercises in the gym.

The truth is that, within a year ,he ran the half marathon successfully and then the full marathon in Mumbai and now runs around the world and has qualified to become a “Iron man”. So, this story can inspire all of us to try ,before we give up. If anyone is interested, do let me know and I can share a book, he has authored on his life story.

I know of an Olympian. She lost in the first few rounds of Badminton, in her first appearance . But the very next Olympics ,after four years of hard work and diligent efforts ,won a bronze medal for her country. This story is common amongst many sports persons and hence they inspire many youngsters to excel ,in whatever vocation they are in.

As they say, sky is limit for those who dare to dream and then are willing to toil to make that dream a reality. Many of us are great at dreaming but are not willing to put in those hard days and nights of toil, before we succeed and realise our dreams. Either we are not willing to put in that effort or give up even before we try ,stating that it is not meant for us.

Let us learn to try before we quit from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

19th May 2025