I am a born optimist and think of life as full of possibilities. Every day I wake up to think there is something good likely to happen to me today. I have looked at every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. This does not mean that I have not faced any difficulties in life. It only means that if you are willing to face life as it is rather than as you want it to be, anything is possible.

I have come across people in my every day life, who will crib at everything around them. If it is a bright and sunny day, they will complain about how hot it is. If it rains, they will say their day is spoilt as the weather has dampened their spirits. If it is cold, they will still complain stating they cannot go out shopping. So any weather does not make them cheer.

On the other hand, I have met people who not only look at life as full of possibilities but also look at everyone around as their enablers in life. If it rains, they will dance in the rain. If it is warm and sunny, they will go sun bathing and if it is a chill winter morning, they will jog in the forest to admire nature in its full glory.

One has always a choice in life in everything we do. If we want to crib, we can invent reasons to do so. But, if we want to be happy, we can find reasons to be joyous always. It is up to us to adapt to every situation in life. It is our attitude to life, which makes it what it is and not the other way around.

Some people have asked me as to what benefit one gets by being optimistic in life. Further, they ask how one can be positive when you go through the toughest challenges of life. The power of positivity has to be experienced to be believed. The best way to deal with any challenge is to think positive. If we have lost a job but have full faith in our capabilities, we may like to believe that something better is in store for us.

Every challenge in life is an opportunity. It is up to us to live life the way we want to. If we want to crib, we can till our last breath. On the other hand, if you want to enjoy life and be positive, nothing prevents us from doing so. It is like while walking one day morning, I wished my neighbour – “Good morning” and he responded by asking – “ What is good about the morning ?. I smiled at him and said that for me everything about the morning is good – the clear blue sky, the chirping of the birds, the pleasant morning chill and the smile of the kids running to catch the school bus.

Let us choose the way we want to live. Think positive.

S Ramesh Shankar

28th March 2023

“Maango Useese, Baaton Khusheese, Kaho na Kiseese” is Hindi quote which says “ Ask from God, donate happily and do not tell anyone. Someone shared this quote with me on social media and it stuck a chord.

All through our life we keep demanding for things from almost everyone around us- Our parents, teachers, friends, neighbours et all. It takes time for us to realise in life that we can ask only from God and nobody else. God gives all of us and may be the carrier ,are your parents, teachers, family or friends.

Possessiveness is our second nature. We get attached to material things more than people. It starts with “my pen”, my cycle”, “my clothes” and so on ,right from our childhood. We get very upset when someone tries to use our belongings ,even if they need them more than us.

We are reluctant to share .It takes a jolt in our life to realise that the more we give, the more we get. Many a time even after a few shocks in our lives, we are reluctant givers. When elders try to tell us that we need to give more than we take from others, we question them.

But as we grow older, we realise that this is the axiom of life, irrespective of whichever religion one follows. We get everything from the Almighty, we need to learn to give generously without expecting anything in return and do all good deeds in life ,anonymously.

It may be easier said than done, especially when we are young. We throng for material things and are indeed possessive of all that we have. We do not want to share our belongings with anyone and are keen to get credit for any small things we do.

But as we experience life, we learn our lessons, living through our own life events or through the wisdom of others. During childhood or even in our growing years at home, we do not believe in the advice of our parents or elders ,in this sphere.

We live in an illusion that we earn everything in life through our own hard work and sacrifice. The day we experience that money cannot buy many things like health or happiness ,we bow before the Almighty for forgiveness. Then ,we are willing to share with others.

Even when we are giving, we tend to take credit for the smallest good deeds we do ,without realising that there are millions around us doing much more than us and their left hand does not know what their right hand is doing.

When we stand up in life as adults and sometimes face difficulties and come out of it ,with the support and generosity of others ,then we realise that life is all about sharing, giving and caring for others.

Let us learn to give more than we get. Let us realise that the Almighty give us more than we deserve and the more we share happily without letting the world know of our little acts of kindness, the more we may be blessed.

S Ramesh Shankar

13th Feb 2023

One of the most difficult things in life is to think of of the impossible and make it happen. Someone suggested to me that we need to be kind to the unkind. I was flabbergasted. How can one be kind to someone who is unkind to you ? I said it is difficult even for me even to imagine it. However, I agreed to reflect on it and review.

On thinking about it for a while, I realised that ,may be it is true and a necessity. It is like you need to give food to the hungry and not to the well fed. Similarly, we need to be kind to the people around us, who are unkind to us.

Let us imagine our first experiences in life. The teacher in our class has to be kind, to the most difficult student in the class. Sometimes as a fellow student, one may wonder why the teacher is kind to her most errant student in class. Once ,when I asked a Principal a similar question, she replied that it is teachers and parents, who have to mould that child and such children need more help than others.

If we move to our own family, we may have not noticed that parents tend to spend more time with the truant child at home. Again, parents realise that the errant child needs more help than others to get back on the right path.

The workplace may not be very different. The best leaders will always spend more time with the most underperforming employees. This is not because they love to do it but again because they need the maximum support.

Life is no different than all such experiences at school, home or at the workplace. While, it may be difficult to be kind to the unkind, it is a test of our capability to rise above selfish limits and help those who may have been unkind to us.

A mother does not distinguish between a well behaved child or an ill behaved child. The unconditional love is showered on all children without expecting anything in return. Similarly, we have to learn to be helpful to people ,who least deserve it.

Our act of unconditional kindness will give us unlimited joy and mould us into selfless human beings. We may not realise that sometimes ,our acts of kindness may get us unexpected favours from people, whom we least expect it from.

The joy of giving is limitless. The acts of kindness need to be selfless. The benefactors should be boundary-less. Our actions should speak louder than our words. Our giving should always be more than our receiving.

The people who need it ,may not be the people who deserve it. But we need to give to the needy ,not to the more fortunate around us. Let us learn to give without expecting anything in return.

Life is more gratifying when we try the impossible and make it possible. Let us try to be kind to the unkindest people around us from today and experience the magic of kindness in our hearts.

S Ramesh Shankar

28th January 2023

 

 

It is that time of the year, when we think of new year resolutions. Most of us make resolutions to reduce our weight or get healthier and so on but break it within a fortnight of the new year.

This year I thought of a novel idea, which may not be difficult to implement but may also be sustainable for the rest of our lives. Why not we try to make at least one person smile every week of the year.

I initially thought why not make someone smile every day but then to make it more practical and sustainable ,thought of once a week. Anything which is not sustainable may fizzle out even before we imagine it.

My definition of happiness in life is attitude, contentment and gratitude. A positive attitude to life and living, being happy with what we have and not worrying about what we do not have and being grateful to all the people, who have made us successful in life.

I further realised that happiness is contagious. If you make someone happy, you are not only happier but you spread happiness to others connected with them too.

Another great learning in life is that you do not need to be wealthy to be happy or to make others happy. If we are content with what we have and we learn to live in absolute, then we are bound to be happy.

Happiness is a state of the mind. I have met people, who have nothing in life but are very happy. On the other hand, I have met millionaires, who spend sleepless nights to protect their wealth and multiply it. I am not sure if these millionaires will ever have the time to enjoy and be happy in life.

Happiness is to celebrate every moment of life. It is not something you can wait for ,to enjoy in the future. It is ephemeral and in a way spiritual. You can feel happy but can never buy happiness from others.

Another insight is that if we give more, we get more in life. If we spread happiness, we are bound to be happier ,every day of our lives. It could be spending time with your friends or relatives.

Just playing with your kids or vacation with your family can make you discover happiness. Even calling friends in distress and enquiring about their health or welfare could make you happier. Visiting your parents for no reason ,can make them happy. Visiting a school or college teacher after many years of passing out, can give them immense joy.

Happiness is self discovery. It comes from within more than from outside. This may be learnt ,as we experience life. Material things can make us momentarily happy but sustainable happiness comes from love and joy.

I have resolved to try to make at least one person happy every week in this new year. How about you trying out this idea ? You could visit a friend or your relatives. Just call someone and express gratitude for all that they have done ,in your childhood.

It could be just meeting a security guard in office or your gardner in your community and enquiring about their welfare. Life is happier when we make others happy. We need to try to experience this moment of joy in life.

As in the photo above, my friend’s daughter came all the way from New Jersey to Bangalore to spread happiness amongst differently abled children by sharing her dancing prowess.

Let us resolve to make at least one person in our lives smile every week. If we can do every day, it may be better ! Let it become a habit for the rest of our lives.

Let’s start today. Wising all of you the best of health and happiness in 2024

S Ramesh Shankar

1st Jan 2024

I always wondered if being customer oriented is a difficult thing. I was travelling in a flight recently. We had pre-ordered our snacks. When my wife requested the flight attendant to exchange her pre-ordered Upma for some other snack, she was rude to state that it has been pre-booked and cannot be changed.

I then recalled the research I had done on “Customer orientation” during my corporate career and I realised that being customer oriented does not need complex things to be remembered. It is just having a positive attitude, being empathetic to the customer and keeping up your commitments. It is as simple as that.

It does not depend on the product or service you are offering. You may be dealing with any product or service. It is your ability to being positive in your attitude, putting yourself in the shoes of the customer’s shoes and understanding their issues and then keeping your word. That’s all we need to be customer oriented.

Let me analyse how this behaviour of the air hostess could have been customer oriented. When my wife requested her to exchange her snack, she could have understood the reasons why my wife asking for the same. Then she should could been empathetic and understood the pain of the customer. After that she could have checked with her seniors if needed and exchanged her Upma with another snack of equivalent value. This would have not only satisfied a hungry customer but delighted her and airline would have not lost a penny.

After she refused to exchange the Upma for a snack, my wife requested for some tea, which also got delivered after two reminders. This shows you have not keep your word although you promised the customer that you will serve tea and hand over the Upma box. You did neither.

I have a met a lot of employees dealing with customers day in and night out. I have done workshops with thousands of customer facing employees and listened to their stories. When I analysed the same, I found that customer orientation is not dependant on the product or service we offer. It all depends on the attitude we have towards our customer.

Customer orientation is all about “Attitude”, “Empathy” & “Commitment”. Our ability to instil the positive attitude in our employees, making employees empathetic by feeling the pain of the customer and then living up to the commitments they make without fail every single time.

Now I wonder as to why organisations cannot be customer oriented when it is so simple. I realise that the simplest things in life are the most complex and hence may be we are not able to instil these values in our employees and ensure that they consistently follow them.

We need to believe that retaining customers is more important then winning new customers. It is like retaining employees is more important than recruiting new employees when they leave organisations.

Let me summarise that “Customer-Orientation” is as simple as “AEC” ( Attitude, Empathy & Commitment) and let us not complicate it any further.

Let us start being customer oriented today. It is true for individuals as much as organisations.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd May 2022

I have seen people spending their lifetime in search of peace and happiness. The interesting aspect is that the more they search – both peace and happiness is elusive to them.

The questions before us – Where do we search for peace ? How do we search for peace ? How can we be sure that we have accomplished it ? When will we be happy that we are at peace ?

The answers to these questions may help us understand this basic tenet of life. I know of people going around the world searching for peace and happiness. If they stay in a city and lead an urban life full of stress, they assume visiting a hill and listening to the sounds of nature may help them get peace and happiness.

Each of us have our own way of exploring our journey. Some of us want to run away from our problems. While others think that we are the only ones beseeched with all problems in the world. Some others think they are cursed in life and hence peace and happiness will always elude them in this birth.

In my definition, both peace and happiness is absolute and personal to each one of us. We can spend our life time searching around the world or blaming others for our state of affairs but we may never attain peace or happiness.

The day we realise that peace and happiness is within us and also within our own control, we may be in a position to pursue this journey. It is like , advising everyone in the world is the easiest thing to do but advising self may be the most difficult.

If we live our lives comparing ourselves to everyone around us and blaming the world and everyone for our state of affairs we may be in a state of denial. On the other hand, if we realise that our destiny is in our own hands, we may be able to begin our journey of self exploration.

The journey of self exploration is like the path of excellence. It is a continual journey of self discovery. If we believe we have reached our destination, we may be fooling our selves. On the other hand, if we continue to look within and pursue this journey, we may be on the right track.

What gives us happiness and peace is unique to each one of us ? If we compare ourselves with others, we may never be able to achieve our goal. We need to be clear as to what will give us peace and happiness in life and pursue our goals zealously.

Each of us will have a different take or definition of peace and happiness and that is fine. The day we worry about the definition of others , our trouble may begin. As long as we are content with our own concepts, our journey will always be enriching.

The path to peace is perseverance. If we are able to look within and reflect, we may be able to rediscover ourselves every day. This journey could be insightful if we are willing to learn and grow with every learning in life.

Let our journey begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar

22nd March 2022

“I have no time” is something I have heard from people from all walks of life and at various life stages. I have always found it mysterious since I have never found lack of time in anything I wanted to do in life.

I have seen students stating they don’t have time to study. I have seen players claiming that they don’t have time to practise and employees claiming they don’t have time to complete their work. Spouses in the family also state they don’t have time to do household chores.

I have been a student, played sports, worked in corporates for almost four decades and happily married for the last 38 years years but never felt that time was ever a constraint for me.

I may or may not have succeeded in all my endeavours as a student, player, employee or a spouse but can never blame time for my failure in anything.

I once asked a colleague as to why he was late for a meeting at my office in Mumbai. He blamed the traffic for the same. I asked him if he would have a missed a flight if he was going on a holiday to Goa. He smiled and said no. So, it our attitude to life and our priorities, which makes all the difference.

As a student if I don’t have time to study or play, it is because I am not planning well and prioritising what is important for me. How can I blame my school or my home for the same. I can neither blame my parents nor my teachers. I need to blame myself only.

If I move to the workplace, I find employees claiming they are under heavy work pressure and do not have time for other things like hobbies or even time to spend with their family. I find this amusing too. Having been through all stages of my work life, I never felt that I did not have time for hobbies or my family. Of course there could be some days when you are tied down but it cannot be an excuse forever.

Life is no different from study, play or work. Many of us think that life is a journey of doing things we may not enjoy all the time. It is not true. It is the way we define what we want in life. It is like if you take the road and drive without any destination in mind, you may reach where you do not want to go. But, if you plan your drive you will go where you desire always.

It is time to challenge ourselves and ask the fundamental question – “What are my priorities in life ?” . How do I want to spend the rest of my life ? I am responsible for my life. The day we realise it, we have crossed the bridge.

We can prioritise both our personal and work related things. Then plan for it and make it happen. We have to be like an Olympian who after winning a gold does not rest but starts preparing for the next Olympics, which is four years away. Let us believe we have all the time in the world to do what we want to do.

Let the new journey of life begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar

12th February 2022

 

 

I have always believed that learning and education need not go together. I have met people in life who have never gone to a formal school but know the world. On the other hand, the best of professionals from the world’s best educational institutions ,do not sometimes inspire us, with their knowledge or skills.

I was reflecting on this subject on “what inspires you to learn from whom ?”. I thought about the people I meet every day and got my insight.

I meet people who have worked in multinational corporations in very senior positions but their every day behaviour puts me off. Then I have met graduates from the best educational institutions in the country, whose arrogance repels you from them.

On the other hand ,I meet a housekeeping staff in my community, who inspires me every single day. Starting from her genuine “Good morning” wish to her enchanting smile, everything about her makes me a good learner.

I meet her everyday and learn in every meeting of mine. Her work ethic is unparalleled. She comes to our community at 630 am so that she can earn a little more by taking additional responsibilities beyond her work hours which commences at 8:30 am.

She is meticulous in her work and does not need any supervision for her quality of output. Her smile is endearing and I have never seen her in a tiff with any of her colleagues. She is ever willing to take up additional work and support her colleagues at work.

She volunteers to make tea for all of her colleagues and is the first to come to work and almost the last to leave. I have never seen her complain about anyone or about work to me or any other office bearers of the community.

She is ever helpful to her colleagues and to everyone who seeks her support. She goes out of the way to get support staff for our residents whenever they need one. I had recently wanted a temporary housekeeping staff since my regular help was down with typhoid.

She recommended a young widow to work for us. This girl came and did her duties in the absence of our regular staff. I assumed she was her relative or friend. But my respect for her went up when I came to know that she did not even know her but wanted to help her since she came to know that she is a young widow with two children and was in the look out for a job.

So, my insight from all these experiences is that you need a great attitude and willingness to share ,to learn from others. This lady is the best in whatever she does and her attitude is worth a million. She is always smiling and willing to share. I am not even sure if she has any formal education. But that does not matter ,for you to be the best in whatever you do and also share your smile with others.

I wish I could be as simple, grounded and caring as my colleague in the community is.

May be worth trying.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th Jan 2022

I sometimes wonder whether we eat to live or live to eat. It may not be either or, as it could be both too! I eat to live. I believe, I eat food to survive but some may live to eat and it is fine too. Eating to live or living to eat is a personal choice and everyone has a right to live life their way.

I have never enjoyed cooking. I enter the kitchen only when it is inevitable and I have no choice. I do help my spouse when she needs help in cutting vegetables or doing some other chores in the kitchen. But cooking is not my hobby. Sometimes when people ask me what I would like to eat – I would reply – anything and they would be amused. The people who enjoy food want to plan for it and put in a lot of efforts to cook and relish it.

I can spend an entire day with fruits and snacks to survive and not cook anything if I am alone. But for some others, this may be a torture. So, if I have a guest, I need to cook good food for them if they enjoy food and not offer snacks just because I can manage with them.

In my view eating to live or living to eat is a personal preference. I neither believe my philosophy of eating to live is wrong nor someone else enjoying food and living to eat is wrong. However, the problem is when one thinks the other is not ok.

When people want to take you out for dinner to a famous restaurant in a new city and you are not that excited, they feel disappointed. They may be right in feeling unhappy as they are putting in extra efforts to make you happy, but they don’t realise that food is not your priority. On the other hand, if you say no, you are making then unhappy since eating good food, is life for them.

In my view neither eating to live nor living to eat, is right or wrong. What is wrong is our belief that the other person is not enjoying life as we are doing. We tend to typecast people based on our own frames of life. The moment someone does not fit into our frame of life and living, we feel they are wrong.

Our ability to live life on our own terms and letting others live their own way, is a better way to enjoy life. The day we realise that we have a right to live life our way and others their way, we may be right. We also have to learn to respect the opposite of our worldview of life.

It may be easy to say this, easier to write about this but rather difficult to practise it. In life, most things we adore may not be what others do. The day we learn to live life our way and let others do their way , we have arrived.

Life is all about live and let live.

S Ramesh Shankar

15th Oct 2021

Our world today seems to be revolving around “I”. The day we grow from “I” to “We”, we may have arrived. While it may look simple, it is possibly the most difficult and challenging transition in life. While it looks like a single alphabet to a double alphabet, it is is not as simple as that.

The first and foremost hurdle in this change process is our “ego”. Our ego prevents us to subsume the “I” in our thinking and move towards the “We”. We are worried all the time about ourselves and our family members. The first step could be to think of our community and our society at large, wherever we live.

If every individual is selfish enough to care for self and not worry about others well being, the world evolves into a cruel place to live in. The day we are able to sacrifice selfish needs to the larger good of others, our journey of transition begins.

One may wonder where this all begins. In my view, the family is the basic social unit of society, where it all begins. As parents and elders, it is our duty to inculcate the right values amongst children so that they are able to see beyond themselves always.

I remember my school days, wherein sharing our tiffin was such a source of joy. Today parents advise children not to share and think it is unhealthy for everyone. Ofcourse during the pandemic days it may be better not to share. But in normal times, sharing is caring.

Our schools and colleges also need to re look at the curriculum to promote the “We” rather than the “I”. Everyone is encouraged to excel as individuals whether in academics or otherwise. We need to possibly redesign our academic courses to promote peer learning and enabling each other to succeed.

I realise that countries which promote “We” more than “I” are better in team sports than individual games. Team spirit not only enables this crucial transition in life but also enables growth of individuals, teams, communities and societies, at large.

Even organisation cultures and performance management systems tend to promote “I” over “We”. It is time to challenge all of these and ensure that we promote team work more than individual excellence. I am not for one stating the individuals should not strive for excellence. What I am suggesting that individual brilliance should not be at the cost of others.

Lastly, as a community, society and nation also we need to promote this change. We need to enable each other to succeed every day in our lives. We need to support other families and communities to be successful. Even states need to enable each other to move forward.

The current pandemic is a great opportunity for the developed world to enable the developing world to face this crisis together. We need to remember that humanity will survive only by collective efforts and not by individual brilliance of nations.

Let us together resolve to move from”I” to “We”.

S Ramesh Shankar

10th May 2021