Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Care for the “Care-giver”

One of the biggest challenges in the world today is to take care of old and bed ridden family members. With many children moving out of their native countries for better career opportunities, the old and ailing members of the family are left alone to take care of themselves.

I have witnessed spouses taking care of one another without taking help from any professional agency. I salute the family members, who serve the elderly selflessly, as they realise that some day they could be old too and someone will take care of them.

However, when I recently attended a webinar on “elder care” I realised that taking care of the “care-giver” is possibly more important in society than even the person being taken care of. Imagine a dementia patient at home being taken care by a family member. The care giver may be providing selfless service in the true spirit of humanity.

But I realised after attending this webinar that the stress and strain, which a care giver goes through is possibly as much if not more than the person in distress. This tells us that we possibly do not realise the adverse impact of the patient on the care giver. We need to care for the care giver as much as he or she cares for the person in distress.

Let us examine this with a simple case. A senior citizen in a home is suffering from demnitia. The wife of the person is taking care of him day in and night out with the support of house helpers. The spouse is all alone as the kids have already left the nest for better pastures in life. So, apart from taking care of the dementia of her husband, she is managing the home affairs on a day to day basis and also bearing the stress of the reactions of the patient and its consequences. This could lead to physical and psychological stress on the spouse.

We may not realise this stress unless we experience it. A person from outside the family may be empathetic to the patient but may not realise the stress and strain the care giver is undergoing in taking care of the patient. Sometimes the impact could be irreversible and long lasting. Hence, it is important to take care of the care giver as much if not more than the patient.

Let us understand the stress the care giver goes through while taking care of a patient. They are physically and mentally exhausted. Sometimes, they may be skipping their meals to be around the patient and take care of them. This could lead to physical and mental health issues.

The psychological impact the patient may have on the care giver is also unimaginable. They may absorb all the stress of the patient onto themselves. This could lead to physical or psychological disorders, which may be visible or may be latent. It may explode at a later date if not take care of.

Thus, I realise the care for the “Care giver” is as important as the care for the patient. Let us all strive to enable the care givers to be supported as much as the people in our family or friends circle in distress and needing help and support.

Let us care for the “Care giver”.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st May 2023

 

Excellence

Everyone says “Excellence” is a journey that never ends. I sometimes ask as to how to discover this journey in life. It looks like it is easier said than done.

I was watching a TV show recently and realised what this could mean to us in our everyday lives. I saw a flautist, who played the flute as if God was playing the flute through his fingers.

I have seen sportspersons win match after match and still never feel they have arrived. They always think ,that there is something better to play in the next match, than whatever they have done so far. This is true for individual players as well as teams.

I have met subject matter experts, who can speak endlessly on their subject and can answer all your questions ,as if the subject was discovered by them on earth. Their quest to learn is never ending and their thirst for knowledge is limitless.

One meets common men and women in everyday life who excel in whatever they do and we imagine they have peaked in their domain. However, when we meet them each time, they make you realise that their journey has just begun.

A sculptor is not happy with a masterpiece nor a musician with a Grammy winning song. An actor does not end his journey with an Oscar nor a sportsperson with an Olympic medal. What makes us pause our journey when we do not even excel at our city level, leave alone district, state or country level.

After observing people, who excel in different walks of life I realise that they have some discerning qualities, which may be worth emulating. The first amongst all of these qualities, is their unequalled passion for whatever they do.

A sculptor may spend years to create a masterpiece but is never satisfied with just one. Similarly a sportsperson may have won laurels around the world in Olympics or World championships , but still doesn’t stop trying to improve always.

The second quality of a person who excels , is their limitless learning in life. A sportsperson person recently said in a press conference – “There is no failure in sports”. There are good days and bad days. You win some and you lose some but you never give up to do better all over again.

The third quality which I would love to imbibe is that their quest to do better every day of their lives. You never see them resting on their past laurels. What they did yesterday is over and what they are doing today is for a better tomorrow.

Now, let us look as to how we could apply these basic principles in our every day lives. First we need to identify what we are passionate about. Sometimes, we may not be sure and that is fine. We may discover along the way and sometimes even by chance. Once you are passionate about something, your zeal to excel increases.

Secondly, we need to learn to learn, unlearn and re-learn everyday of our lives. What we learnt in our childhood may not be relevant today. What we know today may not be applicable tomorrow , with the changing technologies impacting our lives. So , we need to have limitless quest for learning always.

The third quality is to compete with the best and to begin, compete with oneself. We all can be a better version of what we were yesterday. It could be as simple as the speed of our walking or the way we play a game. As long as we have the passion to excel, our journey never ends.

Life is a journey to excel in whatever we do and then its fun all the way.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st May 2023

Leading by example

One of the questions often asked in my career is -“What style of leadership will make you a successful leader ?. The answer is simple. Lead by example as your followers follow what you do and not what you say. This is true in family, organisations or in society at large.

Let us understand how we can lead by example in a family setting. Many parents think that because of their age gap, children may listen to whatever they say. This may be true up to the age of 10 or so but thereafter as they turn an adolescent they tend to rebel and are not interested in following your boring advice day in and night out.

Let us keep it simple. If we want our kids to brush their teeth before they have their morning cup of milk, coffee or tea, we need to practise it. If we have a bed coffee without brushing our teeth in our bed and expect our children to brush their teeth before they have it, it may never happen.

If we work or play with our mobile while having our breakfast, our children may never eat breakfast without a mobile in hand. If we watch TV while having our food, they are likely to do the same. On the other hand, if we want them to be away from mobile while having food or while studying, we need to practise it before we preach.

Then while we are driving, if we speak on the mobile for work or otherwise, our children observe our actions and repeat the same when their turn comes. No lecture on road safety can be given to a child whose parents do not practise it on the road.

If we move to the organisation again, our actions will always speak louder than our words. If we want our team members to be punctual to work, we need to arrive before time and show them what we expect. If we want them to attend meetings on time, we need to start and end meetings on time. If we want them to respond to emails promptly, we have to first reply to all our emails instantly. If we expect impeccable behaviour with our colleagues, suppliers or customers , then the way we deal with these stakeholders, sets the role model for them.

Society is a mirror image of families and organisations as social units. We can expect citizens to be law abiding and dutiful ,if we practise it within our families and organisations. Even the politicians with high personal credibility will always be respected and regarded and not otherwise. Even if we look back at history, the leaders we admired are those who always led by example and not because of their oratory skills or execution skills alone.

Let us not complicate a simple subject like “Leadership”. We do not need books or lectures to understand leadership. It is as simple as “Learning by doing”. If we practise before we preach, we may never need to preach to anybody. One can recall teachers, managers and family members whom we adore. We admire them not because they ordered us what to do, but they always showed us what to do and how to do it and we happily followed them.

Let us lead by example from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th March 2023