One of the questions often asked in my career is -“What style of leadership will make you a successful leader ?. The answer is simple. Lead by example as your followers follow what you do and not what you say. This is true in family, organisations or in society at large.

Let us understand how we can lead by example in a family setting. Many parents think that because of their age gap, children may listen to whatever they say. This may be true up to the age of 10 or so but thereafter as they turn an adolescent they tend to rebel and are not interested in following your boring advice day in and night out.

Let us keep it simple. If we want our kids to brush their teeth before they have their morning cup of milk, coffee or tea, we need to practise it. If we have a bed coffee without brushing our teeth in our bed and expect our children to brush their teeth before they have it, it may never happen.

If we work or play with our mobile while having our breakfast, our children may never eat breakfast without a mobile in hand. If we watch TV while having our food, they are likely to do the same. On the other hand, if we want them to be away from mobile while having food or while studying, we need to practise it before we preach.

Then while we are driving, if we speak on the mobile for work or otherwise, our children observe our actions and repeat the same when their turn comes. No lecture on road safety can be given to a child whose parents do not practise it on the road.

If we move to the organisation again, our actions will always speak louder than our words. If we want our team members to be punctual to work, we need to arrive before time and show them what we expect. If we want them to attend meetings on time, we need to start and end meetings on time. If we want them to respond to emails promptly, we have to first reply to all our emails instantly. If we expect impeccable behaviour with our colleagues, suppliers or customers , then the way we deal with these stakeholders, sets the role model for them.

Society is a mirror image of families and organisations as social units. We can expect citizens to be law abiding and dutiful ,if we practise it within our families and organisations. Even the politicians with high personal credibility will always be respected and regarded and not otherwise. Even if we look back at history, the leaders we admired are those who always led by example and not because of their oratory skills or execution skills alone.

Let us not complicate a simple subject like “Leadership”. We do not need books or lectures to understand leadership. It is as simple as “Learning by doing”. If we practise before we preach, we may never need to preach to anybody. One can recall teachers, managers and family members whom we adore. We admire them not because they ordered us what to do, but they always showed us what to do and how to do it and we happily followed them.

Let us lead by example from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th March 2023