Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

The power of positive thinking

I am a born optimist and think of life as full of possibilities. Every day I wake up to think there is something good likely to happen to me today. I have looked at every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. This does not mean that I have not faced any difficulties in life. It only means that if you are willing to face life as it is rather than as you want it to be, anything is possible.

I have come across people in my every day life, who will crib at everything around them. If it is a bright and sunny day, they will complain about how hot it is. If it rains, they will say their day is spoilt as the weather has dampened their spirits. If it is cold, they will still complain stating they cannot go out shopping. So any weather does not make them cheer.

On the other hand, I have met people who not only look at life as full of possibilities but also look at everyone around as their enablers in life. If it rains, they will dance in the rain. If it is warm and sunny, they will go sun bathing and if it is a chill winter morning, they will jog in the forest to admire nature in its full glory.

One has always a choice in life in everything we do. If we want to crib, we can invent reasons to do so. But, if we want to be happy, we can find reasons to be joyous always. It is up to us to adapt to every situation in life. It is our attitude to life, which makes it what it is and not the other way around.

Some people have asked me as to what benefit one gets by being optimistic in life. Further, they ask how one can be positive when you go through the toughest challenges of life. The power of positivity has to be experienced to be believed. The best way to deal with any challenge is to think positive. If we have lost a job but have full faith in our capabilities, we may like to believe that something better is in store for us.

Every challenge in life is an opportunity. It is up to us to live life the way we want to. If we want to crib, we can till our last breath. On the other hand, if you want to enjoy life and be positive, nothing prevents us from doing so. It is like while walking one day morning, I wished my neighbour – “Good morning” and he responded by asking – “ What is good about the morning ?. I smiled at him and said that for me everything about the morning is good – the clear blue sky, the chirping of the birds, the pleasant morning chill and the smile of the kids running to catch the school bus.

Let us choose the way we want to live. Think positive.

S Ramesh Shankar

28th March 2023

The puzzle called “Life”

I was listening to an old hindi song today evening and it touched my heart. The lyrics says -“ I am not angry with you “Life”, “I am baffled”. As I listened to this song and many incidents of my life mirrored before me and I was reflective in thoughts.

India was always proud of family as a social institution. Our epics taught us to treat Mother as God, Father as God, Teacher as God and Guests as God”. Today we are keen to run away from our parents in search of our goals in life. I would not say anything wrong in finding your own meaning in life. But to forget your living parents and putting them in old age homes may not be the best way to repay our debts to them. Many children think that if they send money and put them in elder care centres they have done their duties.

Imagine as young kids if our parents had put us in boarding pre-schools and led their own lives how our life would have been. They never let us go anywhere. They sacrificed their lives for our welfare. They missed their meals sometimes to keep us well fed and healthy. They sacrificed their families and career to ensure the best of academics and overall growth for us.

Today when I have grown up and am well set in life, I am happy that I am financially independent and can support them. We do not realise that they are not necessarily looking for our financial support. They are looking for love, affection and care. If we are in any trouble even today, they will still be the first to come to our rescue. But in spite of this, we think that they need to take care of themselves and we are happy supporting them only through money or an occasional call. It could be just a video call from a distant land.

I want to share two stories of close friends in my circle. In the first case, the mother of my friend is suffering from a life threatening disease. She is being treated in a hospital in Bangalore and my friend and his sister live in Europe while his parents live in Bangalore. His mother is being treated and taken care by his father. Their son and daughter could not visit them during Covid, which one can understand. But, the fact that they have not visited them even after Covid is not preventing international travel, baffles me.

The second incident is of my friend, who had a kidney failure and was admitted in Mumbai. He had two sons and both are well educated and settled abroad. My friend was being treated and supported by his spouse since 2020. His sons could not visit him due to Covid but did not get leave or time even after that. One of the sons came to visit him this year when this friend was admitted for a by pass surgery and died subsequently. Now his mother is not interested in going with either of her sons as she feels that when they did not have time to take care of their ailing father, they need not waste their time in looking after a healthy mother.

Life comes a full circle. We may think money can buy everything in life . But Covid taught us we cannot. Money cannot buy peace, health or happiness. We may get away by ignoring our parents or elders who gave us everything of their prime lives to make us what we are today but we have forgotten those days. We may be quantifying their contributions in monetary terms and may be trying to pay back.

Tomorrow when we grow old and our children walk away, wisdom may dawn us or it may not. But life will not be same again. Our parents will live only in photo frames and not in flesh and blood. We may not be able to cry for all that we could not do for them. They lived life on their own terms and left us with zero debts in spite of all their struggles of life. We may be affluent in money terms but the emotional debts may go with us to our graves.

I sometimes wonder why life is so cruel on us. It impacts people who are always serving others. A classic example is that of a leading playback singer who was singing songs on demand from those suffering from covid to make them cheerful. The irony is that he was infected with covid and succumbed to it in a hospital. Can life be more cruel than that ?

Let us learn from our epics and remember to respect and care for all elders and friends who made us what we are today. We need to remember that tomorrow becomes an yesterday for all of us and we may get back what we do for others today.

Is it time to reflect ?

S Ramesh Shankar

25th March 2023

The quaint river

I travelled to Bheemeshwari, the banks of Cauvery just about 2 hours drive from Bangalore . I had arrived here with a friend to do some editing work. We wanted a place, where we can be one with nature and we found this one was ideal.

While the river flows across uninterrupted, the birds spread their joy through music and the clouds revolve around the hills. The animals in the forest are living peacefully as we see the peacocks and deer enjoying the silence of the forest.

While, we as humans can take a lot of credit for all the technological advancement, which mankind has benefited from, we are equally responsible for destroying nature by all our acts and deeds.

When you come to a place like this, you realise that there is so much more to learn from nature. A morning walk before the sun rises in the East lets you hear the sounds of nature in its best form. Then as the river flows down the hills and plains you can hear the crocodile crawling across the river and making his presence felt.

One feels as if the world has come to a halt when you be with nature. There is absolute freedom for man and the animals and birds around him. We neither spoil their daily routine nor they come in your way of work. Today, we realise how much we have moved away from nature.

As I write this blog, I can hear the chirping of the birds almost like an orchestra. While we may not understand the language of the birds and the animals, they are rhythmic and make you listen to them and enjoy their tunes.

On the other hand, they also convey to us how much noise we create around us disturbing their daily joy. The best thing I learnt about nature today is to let them be themselves. We should not disturb their daily lives and they will not interrupt ours.

We sometimes feel as if we are the masters of the universe and have a right to live life our way and not allow plants and animals to live life their way. It is this selfish nature of man, which destroys nature.

If we travel to remote villages and hills, we realise that humans continue to live along with nature and respect them as they are and not as we want them to be. Today we travel away from the city to experience nature in its purest forms.

However, if we are willing to learn from our friends and relatives living in hills and villages, we may realise that if we let them be as they are then there may not be a need for us to travel to discover nature.

Life is no different from nature. If we allow people to live the way they want to be, then they may flourish. If we impose our beliefs and our values on others, then they may dissent and even oppose it. Our duty is just to create a culture of openness and authenticity around us. This may be true in our families , organisations and society at large.

Let’s learn to live and let live.

S Ramesh Shankar

16th March 2023