Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

The world is imperfect and so are we

Everyone of us want to be perfect in everything we do. We sometimes wonder as to why the world is imperfect around us. We believe we are perfect and everyone around us is not.

This may not be true. We have to realise sooner than later that the world is imperfect and so are we. Nobody can be perfect, all the time. We are human and it is natural for us to make mistakes. It is perfectly fine to err but as someone said – “ To err is human, to forgive divine”

The day we understand that we are as imperfect as the world around us, we may become more human. We need to accept the imperfections in others and also the same in us. All of us make mistakes and so do we. As long as we accept our mistakes, seek forgiveness and move on, life will be better always.

While this may be easier said than done, it may be worthwhile to reflect on the same and understand on how to deal with these imperfections. The best of sportspersons practice day in and night out, to perfect their game. However in spite of all this practise, they do err and are ever willing to learn from their mistakes and improve ,in their next game.

Life is no different. As children ,we make mistakes and we have our parents and teachers to guide us and show the mirror. We learn from them and become better human beings, as we grow in life. At the workplace, we have our seniors, who guide us and mentor us to evolve as better employees.

My life lessons teach me that there are three things, which could help us deal with the imperfections of life. First is acceptance, second is learning from our mistakes and the third is forgiveness.

If we are willing to accept our mistakes, that would be the very first step. Generally, we are in a state of denial and keep floating in that state till we hit a roadblock ,in life or our career. We may hesitatingly accept our mistake only when such an incident happens in our lives.

The second quality one needs to develop ,is learning from our mistakes. Like someone beautifully said that making mistakes is fine ,but not learning from them could be disastrous. We need to learn from our mistakes and ensure we do not knowingly repeat them.

The third and the most important quality is “ forgiveness”. We need to learn to forgive ourselves and others in life. If we continue to regret a mistake for the rest of our lives and not be willing to learn from it ,and forgive ourselves or others for their errors, life could become treacherous.

The day we are willing to accept our mistakes, learn from them and forgive self and others for the same, life would turn more positive and energising for us.

Let us attempt to start from today. We can first forgive ourselves and erase the memories of the multiple mistakes we may have done in our lives. Then let us try to forgive ,all the near and dear ones around us, who may have erred like us.

Let us start from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th Jan 2024

Payback time

I have been married for almost four decades now. I married a college mate of mine, who was one year junior to me. She was a gold medalist in the university and had joined a leading de-addiction centre in Chennai as a counsellor, after passing out from college.

She quit her job after we got married as she had to move from Chennai to Bhilai, where I was working. This was her first sacrifice. A person who was academically brilliant but could not pursue her career of choice since she got married to a person, who was working in another city and put her spouse’s career ahead of her own self.

This choice was by mutual consent and we did not feel bad about it. We then had children and she qualified the Natioinal Eligibility Test (NET) in the first attempt and joined as an assistant professor in college. She continued for some time and then again quit her career, to take care of our two growing up kids.

We moved across cities, as I lived and worked across the country, in pursuit of my career. After supporting me and my family for almost four decades, we decided to settle down in Bangalore.

All through my career, my spouse supported me and my family to live a cosy life and also reared our children to be self dependant adults whilst I was busy pursuing my career goals.

She did continue to write, read and travel, which are her passions in life. She also learnt languages and some art and crafts apart from participating in music and dance, which she could pursue ,some times.

She selflessly sacrificed her career and passions to support me in my career and also support my kids to grow up as good human beings. While we have supported each other in all our pursuits, I realise that post retirement from my active career, it is payback time for me.

We returned to Bangalore and settled down. She pursues her hobbies including gardening. She also continues to write and travel along with me to places around the country and the world.

We walk together every day for more than three decades and do yoga for more than a decade. However, now her health is fragile with her knees becoming weak perhaps because of all the burden she bore for all of us over the last four decades.

Now, it is my time to pay back. I need to manage the family and take care of day to day chores, to the best of my ability. Although, she continues to manage most of the home affairs, I realise that I have a bigger role to play today.

My children have got married and have flown away from the nest to pursue their own careers. They have responsibilities to take care of their own families. Today, I pursue my hobbies of reading, writing, travelling, coaching, driving and consulting and hence I can manage my own time ,as per my plans.

My goal in life is to give to back to society, in the best ways I can. Apart from that, I have take to care of my spouse and her health and payback for all that she sacrificed for us right through our life.

I realise today ,that it is never too late to give back in life to all the people who have made you successful and happy in life. Of all the people who have supported me in my life, my spouse has been the biggest contributor . so its time for me to payback to her.

It is never too late to payback in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

3rd May 2023

“Seeing” the “Unseen”

We find it difficult to see the seen and hear the said around us. It may be difficult to “see the unseen” and “hear the unsaid” in life. The perceptive people around us do that. They are able to see the unseen and the hear the unsaid.

Psychologists tell us that more than seventy percent of our communication is non-verbal and only thirty percent is verbal. If this is even partly true, then we communicate more by the unsaid and the unseen. It may be worthwhile to then focus on the unsaid and unseen in life.

Have we observed a child communicate to her mother ? The child communicates more through actions than words. A mother is able to hear the unsaid and see the unseen. A mother knows when a child is hungry and when the nappy has to be changed even if the child does not speak nor the nappy is seen.

If this is believable fact of life, then why are we ignorant of the same. Either we are not observant enough or our mind wanders around and we do not focus on what we need to. We can learn from our parents if not anyone else around us. Our mothers can teach us more on listening to the unsaid and seeing the unseen.

Life is no different. It is our ability to see the unseen and hear the unsaid which makes us smarter than the majority of people around us. Let us examine this from the perspective of the workplace. If as a leader, we are able to sense the unsaid words of the team members and see the unseen actions of them, we may be admired as a leader.

A leader does not only see and hear from his own eyes or ears. He ensures that he listens and observes through the eyes and ears of all his team members. So, if we are in touch with everyone around us in our team and other teams, we may see and hear what we are not able to see or hear ourselves.

Another interesting learning is from the field of sports. captains may communicate more through their actions than their words. Sometimes the absence of a captain may communicate more than their presence. It is this ability to inspire even in your absence , which makes one a great leader.

We may learn from our teachers more by what they do than what they say. Sometimes the lessons of our teachers are vivid in our mind even when they are not around ,since they have embeded their life lessons in our hearts. Such is the power of the ability of gurus who teach ,not necessarily by what they say or do ,but more by what they make us learn even if they don’t say anything or show anything to us.

Our parents, teachers and leaders make us believe that it is worthwhile to learn the art of hearing the unsaid and see the unseen. They inspire us not only by their words and actions. They teach us by their absence and their silence too.

Let us learn to ‘hear the unsaid’ and ‘see the unseen’ and learn from both from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th May 2023