The train journey

I have been travelling in trains since the time I was born. As a child, we used to travel in second class compartments and non air conditioned coaches. Initially, the trains were pulled by steam engines and then diesel and nowadays electric engines

I loved the smell of the steam engines. I recall my first posting after my training period as a management trainee in a public sector undertaking. I was posted to an iron ore mine and the journey from the steel plant to the mine was by a passenger train pulled by a steam engine. It took us 3.5 hours for a distance of about 130 kms.

The joy of travelling by train has to be experienced to be believed. The best part of the train journey is that every ten minutes there would be a food vendor offering tea/coffee or snacks. We enjoyed getting down at every station and buying something – may be a newspaper or a magazine or just filling our water bottles.

Another interesting benefit of a train journey, especially a long overnight one ,was that ,we met people from different states of India. There would be interesting people to meet. Families, young boys and girls and elders. Many families carried enough food for their journey and invariably shared amongst all the co-passengers.

Some of the long journeys would take us two nights or more and it was more than 36 hours. We not only met and made new friends, who could turn out to be friends for life but also learnt a lot of things, from the interactions on the trains.

The train journeys improved over the years. The trains became faster and coaches cleaner. We also could upgrade from second class to first class and then to air conditioned coaches. Having tea in mud kulha (pot) and coffee in glass or steel tumblers was fun.

We also enjoyed snacks along the way and some stations were famous for some things. We used enjoy oranges at Nagpur or good mangoes in Vijayawada. Even ice creams was popular in some stations. The peda at Mathura and Peta at Agra were mouth watering.

My childhood, teenage and early adulthood was spent in train journeys. Even after I started my career, the first decade was travelling by train only – both personal and official travels. We looked forward to the company and the food ,shared in trains.

Watching the sun rise on the horizon or the moon set ,was mesmerising. The trees and the landscape along most routes, are green and breathtaking. Another good companion during train journeys was about reading books. I had a colleague at work, who was a book worm. He used to just buy a ticket from the starting to the destination station and carry a few books and finish them. He never got down. Just took a train to its destination and returned in the same train on the return jouney.

Today, when I look back, I can state that, life is also like a train journey. We start somewhere and end somewhere. We have stations on the way as the cities we move and live in. We meet people along our life journey. Some are entertaining like in the trains and some may avoid us like the grudging travellers, who do not like to interact with anyone.

We need to learn to enjoy our journey as much as the destination.

S Ramesh Shankar

20th Jan 2025

Value of a mother

Every one of us needs to realise the value of our parents, when they are alive. But, many of us realise their value more, when they are no more with us. I lost both my parents at a very young age. My mother at 23 and father at 25.

I have earlier written about my father and how he is my role model in life, even today. I have learnt patience and respect from him. I have seen him toil hard and become a self made man. He did not inherit anything from his parents and gave us the best of education and comforts, which he could afford.

Today, I want to write about mothers and how they contribute in our lives. My mother was an orphan child, who lost both her parents at a very tender age. She did not even remember her parents during her life.

She completed her schooling and got married off by her relatives to my father even before she could enter college. However, she was a very determined woman and stood like the pillar for the family. She brought up four children, ensured their education and most importantly disciplined us, to be good human beings.

A mother is the emotional bond between children and the family. She is the soul friend and guide for the children. A mother provides all the emotional support a child needs, right through their childhood. A father becomes more of the disciplinarian in the family, while the mother loves and cares for the kids.

In my case, my mother was a tough disciplinarian too. She taught us the rights and wrongs in life and also set the boundaries, which we should never cross.

In the past, mothers were often home makers and fathers went out to work and were the only earning member in most families. However, we need to realise that the home maker’s job is more than a full time job and one needs to experience parenthood, to understand their responsibilities as a mother or father.

Today, most women are working in full time roles and have to play the mother’s role, as double duties. They are working full time and at the same time taking care of their children and their spouses and elders in the family. I have seen my wife as well as my sister playing this double role, when they were working and being mothers, simultaneously.

We may not realise how much a mother contributes in our life, when we are children, growing up at home. Her services are unpaid and not valued till we leave home ,to stand up on our own feet. We miss the home cooked food ;we may miss the love and care and the emotional anchor, which the mother plays and we cannot find a substitute for that in life.

We need to be indebted to our parents, especially our mother right through our life. We need to realise that whatever success, we achieve in life, is because of our parents and teachers primarily.

If we forget our parents and teachers, after we have left home and are adults, standing on our feet, we are being ungrateful to them. Parents do not serve us, with any expectation of anything in return. But, our love and care for them, unconditionally, when they grow old, can be our invaluable gift for them.

Today, most parents plan their old age and can take care of themselves, emotionally and financially, as many of their offsprings move away from home, in pursuit of their career. However, if we fail as children to love and care for them ,as an expression of our gratitude for what they did during our upbringing, we are going to be losers, not they.

Let us learn to bow in gratitude to our parents always. I realise it more than anyone else in life ,since I lost both my parents before I could even settle in my career or life.

If your parents are alive, you are blessed and hence learn to serve them unconditionally.

S Ramesh Shankar

6th Jan 2025

Success never defines character

We may often assume that successful people have great character but may not be necessarily true always. There are many successful people in life, who may have achieved success in work, sports, cinema or other fields but may not be a role model for the next generation, in terms of their character. This is an important lesson in life that “Success does not define character in life”.

It is like the successful people may have achieved success in life by whatever means, but they may not have the character of a person, whom you may like to follow. We all know of many actors, sportspersons, business persons and corporate honchos, who have been successful in their respective fields but can never be a role model for the future generation.

It is important to remember ,that the real adorable people ,have a character ,much beyond their success. They are humble, grounded, always willing to give back more than they get from society and keen to share their knowledge and expertise ,with everyone around them.

I personally know of a father and daughter duo. Father was a civil servant and one of the most highly regarded and respected person. Even today , he is finding ways and means to give back to society. The daughter on the other hand is a highly qualified and successful Chief executive , of a multinational in the USA but is arrogant to the core and can never be a role model for the younger generation.

So, the simple lesson in life is that ,success never defines character. Our simplicity, honesty, integrity, behaviour and willingness to give back to society more than what we have benefited , defines our character. Successful people may not be remembered beyond their term or even their life but people with impeccable character live much beyond their life and are remembered for generations.

While all of us want to be successful in life, we need to remember that our character is , what defines us to society and not necessarily our success. I am not denying the fact the successful people may make an impact and make their presence felt ,through their success in whatever field they are in. But, others forget them sooner than later as success is not eternal, whilst character is.

If we recall our childhood, we always respected teachers, elders in the family or neighbours around us who treated us well and not necessarily the most successful people or the most qualified. Both education and success does not take us far ,unless character is embedded in us.

Let us focus on building our character more than making an impact as a successful person in whatever field ,we have chosen to excel. Success has to be embedded by the character, which the next generation will adore and not the other way around.

Let our character always precede our success in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th Jan 2025