Trust versus Mistrust

 

In today’s competitive world, leaders are always tempted to take the short cut to achieve results. Leaders are evaluated quarter to quarter and hence claim that they do not have the time to trust their people. Imagine if a mother told her kid that she did not have time and hence did not trust her children. Or the patient telling the doctor that she did not trust the doctor and hence took her own treatment. It could be disastrous.

Similarly, in real life, there can be no debate between trust and mistrust. In my view, leadership is built around Trust, Personal credibility and Values. I call this the Triangle of Leadership. Trust leads to Personal credibility and Personal credibility helps you live your values in life. Similarly Personal credibility leads to Trust and Trust helps you live your values. There is no way Mistrust can make you a sustainable leader.

Trust is the essence of life. Imagine a family where the spouses do not trust each other and the parents do not trust the children and vice versa. It would be hell in real life. Every day there will be conflicts and acrimonious exchanges even within members of the same family.

On the other hand, if we trust each other as spouses and trust our children, the returns are to be experienced to be believed. I can cite a personal experience. I have been married for thirty eight years now. I have never counted the money in my purse and left it open always at home. Neither my spouse nor my children have ever betrayed my trust. Trust begets trust and not the other way around.

 

It is equally true in communities, societies and nations. The best organisations of the world have lived and grown based on trust. The world’s oldest organisations have always promoted trust amongst all their stakeholders. Similarly, the best governments in the world survive and prosper only when they instil trust in their citizens. The day trust is lost, everything is lost.

It is high time leaders realise the best of talent will thrive only in an environment of trust. The day they realise that they are not trusted by their leaders, they will leave for better places to work. So, organisations and leaders have to realise that only a culture of trust attracts the best of talent to organisations.

There is always a thin line between trust and mistrust like the red barrier in the photo above.

I always wonder why leaders do not realise this simple formula in life. We have to lead by trust and swear by trust both in our personal and work lives. However, if anyone breaches your trust, then the consequences should also be vey clear. While accidental and unintentional breach of trust can be forgiven, people should realise that intentional and repeated breach of trust will have dire consequences for them. This will also promote a culture of trust.

It is time to lead by trust always.

 

S Ramesh Shankar

 

24th Jan 2020

It’s beautiful world to live in…

I hail from a lower middle class family and have seen the trials and tribulations of life. As I grew up in a government employee’s sole income , we did not have the luxuries of life at home. No TV, fridge or car at home and we had to sleep on mats and on the floor. This financial condition of our family did not deter our spirits nor prevented us from getting the best education possible and the values, which have always kept us happy and contented in life.

After my education, when I started my career in a public sector undertaking far away from my home town, my income was minimal but the opportunities to learn were unlimited. It laid the foundation for my career and also gave me the knowledge, skills and attitude to craft my own career .

I then moved to private sector after almost a decade and a half and each of the organisations I worked for took me to different parts of the country and the world. Each city taught me life lessons in plenty and each country I visited widened my perspective.

My family supported all my decisions in my life. This made my children live and study across different cities in the country. They never cribbed or sulked. On the contrary, I would say that every movement made them more adaptable to change. Today I am confident that they will survive and thrive in every situation they face in life, where ever they live and work.

Marriage as an institution that brought balance to my life. My spouse has been my life long partner sharing my joy and sorrow with equal measure. She has gone through all the tests of life along with me without winking an eye lid and has enabled me to achieve whatever little I could in my life. I owe to her for what I have accomplished in my life and career so far.

Family as an institution has been the foundation of my life. Learning the basic values from my parents, I moved on to set up my own nuclear family. Having lost both my parents at a very young age, it compelled me to take responsibilities and moulded me into a mature person to deal with life in all its dimensions.

My children have equally supported my growth and development in my career. I have experienced the dislocation in education and its impact on your academics on your education. They have sportingly moved from city to city along with us without any complaints or any drop in their performance. Hats off to both my daughter and my son.

God has been kind to me and my family throughout my life. I knew the value of money at a very early stage of life. After thirty eight years of corporate life, when I retired I can say that I am fully self reliant on my financial well being today. However, I have been happy right through my life. I have got all that I wanted in my life and may be it is time to give back in equal measure now.

I have always believed that this world is such a beautiful place to live. Why do many of us spend most of our time crying about what we do not have in this world ? On the other hand, will life not be happier and joyous for us if we celebrate all that we have in the world. Many of us are so privileged that we have a place to live in, good food to eat and a happy family supported by friends and relatives.

Life is beautiful like the neelakurunji flowers blooming once in twelve years in the Coorg hills as in the photo above.

I feel it is time to change our attitude to life and living. It is time to celebrate every day of our lives for all that we have and not regret for some things we may not have. It is time to realise how privileged we are as compared to millions of other people, who struggle to get two square meals a day.

If we celebrate life and live happily, we create a beautiful world around us and realise how wonderful the world is. The day to start celebrating life and the world is today and the time to start is now.

S Ramesh Shankar

3rd February 2020

If I do it, it’s right, if others do it, it’s not

I find life interesting in many of its dimensions. One of the most fascinating things for me is to observe and study human behaviour. If I do behave in a particular way, it is fine, if others do the same things it is not acceptable. Let me illustrate with some examples. If I get up late from bed, it is ok since I came back home late from a flight and I can justify it. However, if my kids get up late, I will scold them without even asking the reasons for it. Rather, I will term it as indiscipline.

This behaviour is manifest in the family, community, organisations and even in society. If I disrespect someone in the family through use of inappropriate words, it is ok as I am the head of the family. However, the same behaviour by my spouse or my siblings or kids is not acceptable and I blame them for lack of family values.

We can see a group of village elders pulling up the youth for smoking in the village square but when the elders smoke, they are disrespectful of the community norms. I can get away by having long hair or by growing a beard and justify it by some family ritual. When the same is practised by my kids, it is considered indecent.

Organisations are no different. The boss can get away using foul language with his team members. However, when one of the team members uses the same language, it is admonished. Similarly, the manager can come late to office and she has valid reasons for the same. However, when one of her team members is late, she loses her cool and reminds the team member of office etiquette and discipline.

Today, it is reflected in the behaviour of nations across the world. We see one super power bullying everyone if those countries do not toe their line. This super power can invade any country and kill anyone in the name of protecting humanity. However, when the same actions are initiated by another country in some part of the world, then this super power considers it violation of human rights, freedom and liberty.

If I go in knee deep water near a waterfall it is fine but if my kids want to do the same, I may say it may not be safe as in the photo above.

Although, I find this behaviour by individuals, communities, organisations and nations amusing, I have not been able to get to the root cause. I cannot understand as to why I tend to justify my ill behaviour by reasons beyond my imagination and find the same behaviour reprehensible when displayed by others. It is like an obese doctor advising his patient to control his diet and maintain his body mass index. It is visible but not comprehensible.

Life is a mystery and we need to discover it every day of our lives.

 

S Ramesh Shankar

 

29th January 2020