Living for yourself first

A friend of mine called the other day and said she got an insight while spending time with herself. She is an accomplished professional whose spouse is a professional in the same field and she has two beautiful children – a daughter and a son.

When I asked her what the insight was ? She said that ,today after so many years of marriage and professional working in a company “ she realised that she needs to live for herself first ,before she serves others in her life ,including family and friends.

I thought ,this was quite insightful. Many of us spend our whole life time ,living for others and in the process forget that we also have our individualistic needs. Our health may be fading and we may never have spent time ,on things we enjoy in life.

I am not for one saying ,that we need not serve others. Even this friend of mine did not mean, that you need not help others. She is a working professional and takes care of her family including spouse, children and parents from both the sides.

What she meant is that ,sometimes ,in our quest to excel at work or taking care of family and friends, we forget our own individual needs. Self care is as important as caring for others ,she said. I more than agree ,to this concept.

If we do not take care of ourselves, nobody else will. Our health is in our hands and so are our other interests and hobbies. If we cannot spend time for our own selves, nobody else will. We may realise that health is impacted after we are down with some disease or handicap, since we neglected our own health ,all the while.

If we do not discover our own passions in life ,by spending quality time on them, nobody else can invest that time ,for us. Even if somebody is willing to spend some time with us, it may not kindle joy in us.

I walk every day and also practise yoga and play badminton whenever time permits. I recall many years back ,when I used to skip my walk on some silly pretext ,my wife used to remind me that diabetes is mine and not hers. This was a very timely reminder to me that if I don’t take care of my own health, others can do nothing about it.

Life is also that way. We need to find time for ourselves every day. We may call it “me time” or whatever one wants to call it. We need to discover and re-discover ourself, as a human being, every day of our lives. We need to maintain our health and be physically, mentally and emotionally fit . It is then , that we can take care of others better.

I am grateful to my friend for sharing this insight with me. It has not only reminded me of this important aspect of life but also may be a good reminder for many of my readers.

Let us pause, look at the mirror and discover ourself all over again today.

S Ramesh Shankar

3rd Dec 2023

Life is a journey, not a race

We live life every day as if we are running a 100 metre race. At most of the times, we are in a hurry and we do not have time for anything. If you ask anyone around, they say they are running against time. I sometimes wonder if it is worth living such a life.

We need to realise that life is a journey, not a race. We need to learn to enjoy life in our own way. We need to learn to take a pause or a break, whenever we need it. We need to learn that ,we are not competing with anyone else in life ,except ourself.

Sometimes people do not enjoy the journey of life. It is almost like taking a vista dome train through the green valleys of the western ghats and either sleeping all the way or working on your laptop. If we do not have time to look around and enjoy the beauty of nature ,around us, during our journeys, we are missing a lot in life.

Life teaches us valuable lessons ,every day of our lives. It gives us ample opportunities to celebrate life ,if we want to. But, if we are busy only comparing and competing with others, we are wasting our time. We can always learn from others ,without competing with them.

This is true ,both for our personal and professional lives. We need to learn to lead our personal life at our own pace and determine our own priorities. We tend to live for others ,all the time and sometimes even forget to enjoy ourselves.

I am not saying for a moment ,that we need not serve others in life. I am only saying that we need to take care of ourselves well before we take care for others. Caring for others should not be ,at the cost of our own lives.

I have met many working professionals in my career, who have no time to enjoy life. Everyone starts believing that the organisation they work for ,will come to a grinding halt, if they are not around. This is the first misnomer ,they need to shatter in their lives. There is not a single individual without whom, the organisation cannot survive.

I have also met people who say they have no time to take care of their health or to pursue their hobbies. We are the masters of our own destiny. If I don’t have time for anything in life, I cannot blame the world or my family, friends or colleagues, for it. I can only blame myself for the same.

We need to learn to manage our time and priorities in life . It may be a good idea to review and reset our priorities ,from time to time. We may realise that what was important yesterday to us, may not be relevant today and vice versa.

The day we realise ,that life is a beautiful journey and not a mad race, we may start enjoying life , in our own little ways. This realisation cannot come from heaven or from others in our lives. It has to come from within us.

We need to challenge ourselves and press the Ctrl+alt+delete button in our lives now and then. We may get new insights and discover the beauty of our life ,all over again.

The time to rediscover life is now.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th Nov 2023.

 

Learning from our grandparents

I have been a diabetic for the last 25 plus years. I went to specialist doctor in Mumbai a few years back for a routine consultation on the advice of our company doctor. The diabetic specialist asked me what oil I used for my food everyday. I very proudly told him that I had sunflower oil and so on.

He further asked me, as to which place ,I belong . He then asked me what my grandparents used. I told him that they consumed til oil. He advised me to stop everything else and follow what my grandparents had ,in their lives.

I realise that our bodies are attuned to the place we belong to. If you belong to the south of India, you either consume til oil or coconut oil for cooking food. On the other hand, people in the east of India consume mustard oil. The North Indians consume more wheat products while South Indians consume more rice. Our bodies get acclimatised to consuming food, which may be suitable for the weather and living conditions of the place ,we live in.

Today ,based on the marketing of products and commercialisation of everything in life, we tend to consume things which are advertised more ,than what our body needs. Our food habits and living habits are determined by commercials rather than what is good for us.

It may be time to look back and reflect on how our grand parents lived their lives. They got up at dawn before the sun rise and had a daily routine of exercise. It could be a walk or a run or playing a game. They did some puja or meditation before venturing out for their work schedules. They spent enough time with family members and always had breakfast and dinner along with all their family members.

The conversations during breakfast or dinner were the invaluable life lessons for their children and grand children. They were always around and thankfully the mobile phone had not invaded their lives.

Today we tend to get up as late as possible ,since we think that every minute of our sleep ,post sun rise is priceless. We do not have time to have our breakfast and are already in a hurry ,as we are running late to the work place. When we get back home, we are still busy on our laptops and do not have quality time ,to spend with our children.

Our day begins with our mobile phone and ends with it. We have started believing that the mobile phone is the centre of our lives and not our spouse, children or parents. While technology is a great enabler in our lives today, it should not be controlling our lives. We need to utitilise technology ,to make our life better and not the other way around.

It may be time to look back and learn from our grandparents. If they had time to exercise, meditate and spend quality time with their family, what prevents us from doing so. If they could consume healthy food and lead a healthy life, why are we not able to do it today ?

It may be time to reset and restart life and nothing prevents us from learning from our own grandparents and other elders, whom we have seen and admired right through our lives.

Time to learn is today.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th Nov 2023