All of us go through moments of joy and sadnesses in our lives. Today was one of those days when I experienced a lot of hurt and sadness. I should admit that tears flowed from my eyes, unconsciously when I was recalling the incident.

Under normal circumstances, we as humans ,tend to retaliate with our words or actions ,when we are hurt. This could be by shouting back or writing back or even using the power of silence or non verbal communication channels.

We can understand and deal with hurt, if one can correlate the cause and effect of an action. However, when someone hurts you for no reason ,then you feel sad. It could also be for no fault of yours. Let me illustrate this point with a few examples.

While working in the corporates, I have been privileged to work under great leaders ,almost right through my career. I may have hurt many of my team members knowingly or unknowingly but my seniors mentored me to realise my mistakes and apologise and learn from these actions, always.

As I grew into a team leader, I also tried to practise this quality, learnt from my seniors. I would encourage the senior employees to forgive, forget and move on, when they are hurt by their junior colleagues.

One may argue that hurt is hurt and it does not matter ,if it comes from a senior or a junior. This is factually true. However, if we are willing to reflect on the incident and contextualise it ,in the organisational environment, we may realise that ,when our juniors hurt us, it may be their inability to understand the impact of their actions or our inability to groom them and develop them ,to deal with such situations.

The moment we are able to get out of this context and put ourselves as a neutral umpire, we realise that the cause of the hurt could be attributed to the leader ,rather than the team member, who insulted someone.

Let me illustrate this point ,with another example. The cricket teams of two leading cricket playing countries ,were playing a competitive final. Since it was a close game, the temperatures were running high and on some sensitive and close decisions of the umpire ,a lot of sledging and misbehaviour ,was seen on the ground. This continued for some time and in the end, resulted in fist fights and physical violence.

In such a situation, while the junior players may have indulged in the acts of misbehaviour , the onus of discipline and coaching the team ,lies with the captains of the two teams. As they were mute spectators to this incident, it was for the umpires to intervene and diffuse the situation.

Life is no different. We as parents or elders in the family or leaders in the organisation or the community have to take the onus of responsibility, of dealing with any errant behaviour by the youngsters in our domain. The accountability to mentor and coach ,lies with the seniors and not the juniors, who may have indulged in such acts of indiscipline.

I realised and learnt a great lesson today in life. The act of forgiving and taking onus of responsibility for the behaviour of my team members is my accountability. So it does not matter who is involved in such incidents, the seniors have to reflect and change themselves ,so that such acts do not recur in families, organisations or communities.

Let me change myself before I change the world.

S Ramesh Shankar

16th Jan 2024

I love my country. India is the biggest and the most vibrant democracy in the world. We may not have the best physical infrastructure in the world but we have the best emotional quotient. We care for our people and we care for the world. “Vasudeva Kuthambakkam” is a old Sanskrit saying. It means the world is one family. We believe in this tenet and try our best to live it every day in our thought and behaviour.

The other day I was flying down from Mumbai to Chennai. It was from the west coast of India to the east coast. The state where I currently live and work is on the west coast. The place where I was born and bought up is on the east. The language they speak and the culture of the two states are completely different. The type of dress they wear and the customs and traditions are also quite varied. But, what is common is our emotional connect. We live and breathe as Indians.

Today the western civilisation has invaded us. We have got the best of technological advancement from the west. We have learnt the traditions from the East and have blended the west to the east to get the best. We need to be proud of our past and confident about our future. We need to learn the best from the west and leave the traditions of the east to continue to thrive in our country so that we get the best of both the worlds.

We have 29 states in India and each has its unique culture. We have hundreds of languages and dialects. While Hindi and English is spoken and understood across the country, we do not have any problem in living or dealing with each other wherever we live. The reason behind this in my view is because by heart we are an Indian. We are brought up with a tolerant attitude to life and living.

We need to continue to learn and grow this tolerance in us. No religion, caste, creed or community should create barriers between us. While vested interests in society may intrude into our culture, we have a responsibility to preserve it and promote it for the future generations. We cannot afford the evil forces of society to impinge on the fabric of our cultural society.

We have to be proud of the past, while we create a future of our choice. We have adapt and adopt the best of technological advancement without compromising on our values or ethics. We have to embed our culture in our younger generations. In my view culture is like the blood in the body. No foreign organism can destroy the blood as long it is pure and has the immunity to fight all external forces.

We need to remember the best traditions of the past while we embrace the best technology for the future. Both need to coexist. We need to remember that our culture is the bedrock of our society. It is the foundation of our democracy. It is the bloodline of our society. We should neither allow our culture to degrade nor dilute due to the invasion of technology.

We have a rich tradition of science in our country. We have to embrace science for the betterment of mankind. But we need not do that at the cost of traditions. In my view, culture and technology are like two our two eyes. While one may be enough for sight, the two eyes provide us the third dimension of sight, which is not replicable by any technology. No camera in the world has been able to better the vision of our eyes.

The sun rising in the east or setting in the west looks as gorgeous across the Indian coast line as in the photo above on the west coast.

Let us learn to embrace technology and imbibe culture. Let the West meet the East.

S Ramesh Shankar

We had a teacher in college by name Professor PK Vishveshvaran, whom we called the “Walking Encyclopaedia”. Anyone of the students had a query on any issue, she would go to this teacher and he always had an answer. If he did not know the answer, he would neither guess nor fake an answer but accept that he did not know. Further, he would commit to find the answer and get back to the student. It was in the early eighties, where computers and the internet was non existent.

Most of us were in awe of this professor. He was a simple, down to earth and a knowledgable professor, who had no pretensions. He was accessible to everyone and always willing to help. I have not yet met a teacher in my life, who is so endearing. He used to keep a radio in his room and listen to music and news from around the world. His room consisted of open shelves and he used to meticulously maintain reference materials in a very haphazard manner, which only he could retrieve. But the best part was that he could retrieve any information within minutes from a maze of shelves, registers, books and papers.

I have learnt a lot from this teacher in my life. He is like a role model for me in many ways. The first learning is that he led a very simple life and was always willing to share his knowledge with others. Hence, one could learn that simple living and high thinking is easy to admire but difficult to imbibe. Further, the belief that the more you share your knowledge with others, the more you learn and grow in life is something I learnt from this wonderful human being.

The second learning I got from this Guru was that he never aspired for any recognition. He was an absent minded professor in letter and spirit. He used to dress very casually and mingled very well with students and everyone else. One would never get impressed with his dress or his looks. His hairstyle would be strewn all over. He never dressed to impress. On the contrary, you will wonder whether he could be a master of his subject by the way he presented himself. However, the moment you interact with him for a few minutes, you realise what a reservoir of knowledge he was.

The third learning I had from this lecturer was that he was a life long learner. I have seen him from my college days till he lived.,I have always seen him curious and enthusiastic. He had the memory of an elephant and the inquisitiveness of a child. He always had questions to ask and did not hesitate a second to say – ‘he did not know” ? I have always been humbled by his presence and humility.

Sometime back I came to know that he was admitted to a ICU after a slip . His nervous system had been impacted. As soon as this information spread, students from all over the world prayed for him and were generously contributing to support him to recover. The prayers were answered by God within 24 hours and he became conscious and did recover. I did realise that a wonderful human being like him should never suffer from any disease or injury. God was kind to listen to the prayers but he did not survive for long.

I also recall that he attended every alumni meeting of the college and remembered me and my wife from our college days. He would recall the name of the place where I first started my career thirty six years ago and reminded me of the post cards he used to write to us. He took the three books written by my wife and promised to read them and send his feedback and review again through a post card. I recall he said – I will send a snail mail as I am not yet used to emails.

Unfortunately, he died last year. What a great human being he was ? I pray to God to help us learn from his humility and be s better human being.

S Ramesh Shankar