Wanting to die is suicide but willing to die is sacrifice. Wanting to die may be out of desperation but willing to die for your country is patriotism. People, who are not able to face the realities of life may be wanting to die but people who want to give their lives for a cause, sacrifice for the sake of others and their countries.

I do understand ,as a student of psychology ,that sometimes people are wanting to die since they are not able to deal with what is happening to them in life. They may need support from professional counsellors or psychiatrists or psychologists to face complexities of life. Such vulnerable people should either seek such professional support or others could help them to get such support.

We hear of students committing suicide ,for failing in some examinations. We hear of ,either partners giving up their life ,since they are not able to cope up with each other ,due to various reasons. These, in my view are acts of helplessness. While some may say, it is due to their inability to deal with their own issues , I would rather state it is not their individual failure but the inability of their family or friends ,not being in a position to support them ,in time.

On the other hand, the defence personnel are willing to die for the nation. I was once attending a talk ,by an ex army captain. He was narrating of how a platoon commander ,will always lead from the front, when they have to attack an enemy. The commander will always put his life on the knife edge , before he orders his troops to plunge into the battle.

So, if we take these extreme ways of approach to dying, we realise that one is negative and the other is a positive way to die. A faint hearted commits suicide while a soldier sacrifices his life ,to save innocent humans in a terror attack. Our actions every day in life ,can either be suicidal acts or acts of sacrifice. We may either run away from situations or stand tall and face a crisis.

As parents at home or as leaders at the work place, we see both these characters. I have explained suicide and sacrifice ,as examples of how we deal with real life situations every day. Many of us are happy to run away from any crisis and transcend to safer zones. Few of us are willing to plunge and take the risk.

It is similar to a situation in a road accident. Most of us will speed past an accident site ,since we do not want to the face the music of answering difficult questions from the police. These are simple acts of suicide we commit every day. Some of us will stop, call the ambulance or even take the injured in our own car ,to the nearest hospital – these are the acts of sacrifice like a soldier, we are talking of.

So, let us review today of how suicidal or sacrificial we are ,in every day life ,from today. Do we develop cold feet and run away from uncomfortable situations at home or work or are we brave soldiers willing to die and save the life of others ?

Let us learn to sacrifice more from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

18th March 2025

I attended a marriage function of a close relative recently at Chennai. It was after quite some time , that I had the opportunity to sit, enjoy and reflect, on every ritual in the function. This gave me an opportunity ,to observe all the happenings around me ,with curiosity.

The first and foremost thing which struck me was that “marriage” is a social institution, which provides an opportunity for extended families of two sides ,to meet, interact, socialise and build ever -lasting friendships.

We meet our cousins, elders, friends and relatives and recall our enjoyable days spent together during our childhood or while we stayed near each other. We also get an opportunity to meet family and friends of the bride and bridegroom’s and this enables us to evolve , new relationships.

I enjoyed all the rituals of the marriage ,like the fasting ceremony, the engagement ceremony, reception and the marriage solemnising ceremony. Each ritual is performed with a lot of thought and social relevance. For eg, the “Vratham” or fasting ceremony done by the girls parents and the boy’s parents ,is an occasion to fast and pray to the Almighty and all elders ,to ensure that a complex function like a marriage ,happens smoothly ,without any disruptions or misunderstandings. They seek the blessings of the elders ,for the transition from bachelorhood/spinsterhood to married couples.

Then, if I move to the engagement ceremony. It is an opportunity to publicly announce that this girl and this boy are getting married. They also announce the details of the family members from both sides for the information of all , as the next day ,the marriage is going to be solemnised.

The reception is a modern day invention but could be considered an opportunity ,to share the joy with family and friends and the community at large. Nowadays, it also includes performances by the family members from both sides, which could help in building better relationships and understanding one another.

The main ceremony of the marriage ,involves the “Kanya dhaanam( the biggest donation in Hinduism), where the father of the girl ,donates his daughter to the groom. In turn, the groom promises to take care of her and his parents will also treat her , like their own daughter. The meaning of sacred marriage mantras ,can teach us a lot of do’s and dont’s ,of life and living.

The variety of food served is also an opportunity ,to understand the tradition and culture of the two families , as they say that the stomach is the way to win over the heart of one another. As the Hindu religion states – “athithi devo bhava”, we need to treat our guest as God. So, all the guests to the marriage from both sides ,are treated well ,in terms of accommodation, food and other arrangements.

Overall, I realise that all of our social institutions ,can teach us so many life lessons ,if we are willing to keep our eyes and ears open. It is upto to us to imbibe these learnings ,by observation and enquiry.

Let us learn to learn from our heritage and culture every day.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Nov 2025

In the recent past, I have seen three high profile exits from the corporate sector. In all three cases, it was the CEO, who left the company. The CEO was appointed with great fan fare and each of them built the company and made them grow ,much ahead of their competition.

I admire all these companies and their former CEOs. I have not worked with any of them nor do I know them personally. But all these are great brands in different sectors, are publicly listed and admired by their share holders.

Interestingly these companies operate in different geographies ,of the world. They are global and regional in the markets ,they operate. They have survived, grown and are successful since many decades.

I do understand that it is the prerogative of the promoters or the majority shareholders to decide who the CEO of the company would be and how long they would continue. They have a right to decide the person and their tenure. My concern is not on the who the CEO would be and how long they are in office. My worry is that ,after each of them have successfully run your organisation for many years, you abruptly ask them to leave and deal with their exit ,in an undignified manner.

I am sure ,due process may have been followed to appoint and terminate the services of their CEOs in each of the three companies. Their board of directors would have passed a resolution , both for their appointment and their termination. But, the way the process has been handled , needs a lot to be desired.

Being a life long HR professional, I have always professed that every employee who leaves the organisation ,for whatever reason ( except for ethics or integrity issues) needs to be dealt with dignity ,while they leave. We need to remember ,that every employee leaving us ,is a brand ambassador of the company . He or she will talk about the company, the way they have been treated, after they leave the company.

I cannot imagine a CEO, who has given his or her blood and sweat for the organisation ,to survive and grow in a highly competitive market place ,to be treated in an undignified way and abruptly relieved from the organisation ,with no notice. This not only hurts the reputation of the organisation but also adversely impacts the morale of the employees ,working in the organisation. The employees think that, if this can happen to a successful CEO, what would happen to them, who are lower down ,in the hierarchy.

I do understand that all of us make mistakes and so do the board members. But, one needs to learn a lesson from the mistakes done by other organisations and course correct their behaviour and actions. If we have seen such things happening around us, we have to ensure that this does not happen again ,in our organisation. We can always decide who our next CEO has to be, but to deal with the previous CEO and his or her exit, with dignity and respect ,is our responsibility and duty. This is not only beneficial to the organisation but also ,to keep the morale of the employees in the organisation ,intact.

Let us learn to treat every employee leaving the organisation with dignity and respect and make them our brand ambassadors from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

17th Nov 2025

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