One of the most difficult things in life is to think of of the impossible and make it happen. Someone suggested to me that we need to be kind to the unkind. I was flabbergasted. How can one be kind to someone who is unkind to you ? I said it is difficult even for me even to imagine it. However, I agreed to reflect on it and review.

On thinking about it for a while, I realised that ,may be it is true and a necessity. It is like you need to give food to the hungry and not to the well fed. Similarly, we need to be kind to the people around us, who are unkind to us.

Let us imagine our first experiences in life. The teacher in our class has to be kind, to the most difficult student in the class. Sometimes as a fellow student, one may wonder why the teacher is kind to her most errant student in class. Once ,when I asked a Principal a similar question, she replied that it is teachers and parents, who have to mould that child and such children need more help than others.

If we move to our own family, we may have not noticed that parents tend to spend more time with the truant child at home. Again, parents realise that the errant child needs more help than others to get back on the right path.

The workplace may not be very different. The best leaders will always spend more time with the most underperforming employees. This is not because they love to do it but again because they need the maximum support.

Life is no different than all such experiences at school, home or at the workplace. While, it may be difficult to be kind to the unkind, it is a test of our capability to rise above selfish limits and help those who may have been unkind to us.

A mother does not distinguish between a well behaved child or an ill behaved child. The unconditional love is showered on all children without expecting anything in return. Similarly, we have to learn to be helpful to people ,who least deserve it.

Our act of unconditional kindness will give us unlimited joy and mould us into selfless human beings. We may not realise that sometimes ,our acts of kindness may get us unexpected favours from people, whom we least expect it from.

The joy of giving is limitless. The acts of kindness need to be selfless. The benefactors should be boundary-less. Our actions should speak louder than our words. Our giving should always be more than our receiving.

The people who need it ,may not be the people who deserve it. But we need to give to the needy ,not to the more fortunate around us. Let us learn to give without expecting anything in return.

Life is more gratifying when we try the impossible and make it possible. Let us try to be kind to the unkindest people around us from today and experience the magic of kindness in our hearts.

S Ramesh Shankar

28th January 2023

 

 

It is that time of the year, when we think of new year resolutions. Most of us make resolutions to reduce our weight or get healthier and so on but break it within a fortnight of the new year.

This year I thought of a novel idea, which may not be difficult to implement but may also be sustainable for the rest of our lives. Why not we try to make at least one person smile every week of the year.

I initially thought why not make someone smile every day but then to make it more practical and sustainable ,thought of once a week. Anything which is not sustainable may fizzle out even before we imagine it.

My definition of happiness in life is attitude, contentment and gratitude. A positive attitude to life and living, being happy with what we have and not worrying about what we do not have and being grateful to all the people, who have made us successful in life.

I further realised that happiness is contagious. If you make someone happy, you are not only happier but you spread happiness to others connected with them too.

Another great learning in life is that you do not need to be wealthy to be happy or to make others happy. If we are content with what we have and we learn to live in absolute, then we are bound to be happy.

Happiness is a state of the mind. I have met people, who have nothing in life but are very happy. On the other hand, I have met millionaires, who spend sleepless nights to protect their wealth and multiply it. I am not sure if these millionaires will ever have the time to enjoy and be happy in life.

Happiness is to celebrate every moment of life. It is not something you can wait for ,to enjoy in the future. It is ephemeral and in a way spiritual. You can feel happy but can never buy happiness from others.

Another insight is that if we give more, we get more in life. If we spread happiness, we are bound to be happier ,every day of our lives. It could be spending time with your friends or relatives.

Just playing with your kids or vacation with your family can make you discover happiness. Even calling friends in distress and enquiring about their health or welfare could make you happier. Visiting your parents for no reason ,can make them happy. Visiting a school or college teacher after many years of passing out, can give them immense joy.

Happiness is self discovery. It comes from within more than from outside. This may be learnt ,as we experience life. Material things can make us momentarily happy but sustainable happiness comes from love and joy.

I have resolved to try to make at least one person happy every week in this new year. How about you trying out this idea ? You could visit a friend or your relatives. Just call someone and express gratitude for all that they have done ,in your childhood.

It could be just meeting a security guard in office or your gardner in your community and enquiring about their welfare. Life is happier when we make others happy. We need to try to experience this moment of joy in life.

As in the photo above, my friend’s daughter came all the way from New Jersey to Bangalore to spread happiness amongst differently abled children by sharing her dancing prowess.

Let us resolve to make at least one person in our lives smile every week. If we can do every day, it may be better ! Let it become a habit for the rest of our lives.

Let’s start today. Wising all of you the best of health and happiness in 2024

S Ramesh Shankar

1st Jan 2024

I always wondered if being customer oriented is a difficult thing. I was travelling in a flight recently. We had pre-ordered our snacks. When my wife requested the flight attendant to exchange her pre-ordered Upma for some other snack, she was rude to state that it has been pre-booked and cannot be changed.

I then recalled the research I had done on “Customer orientation” during my corporate career and I realised that being customer oriented does not need complex things to be remembered. It is just having a positive attitude, being empathetic to the customer and keeping up your commitments. It is as simple as that.

It does not depend on the product or service you are offering. You may be dealing with any product or service. It is your ability to being positive in your attitude, putting yourself in the shoes of the customer’s shoes and understanding their issues and then keeping your word. That’s all we need to be customer oriented.

Let me analyse how this behaviour of the air hostess could have been customer oriented. When my wife requested her to exchange her snack, she could have understood the reasons why my wife asking for the same. Then she should could been empathetic and understood the pain of the customer. After that she could have checked with her seniors if needed and exchanged her Upma with another snack of equivalent value. This would have not only satisfied a hungry customer but delighted her and airline would have not lost a penny.

After she refused to exchange the Upma for a snack, my wife requested for some tea, which also got delivered after two reminders. This shows you have not keep your word although you promised the customer that you will serve tea and hand over the Upma box. You did neither.

I have a met a lot of employees dealing with customers day in and night out. I have done workshops with thousands of customer facing employees and listened to their stories. When I analysed the same, I found that customer orientation is not dependant on the product or service we offer. It all depends on the attitude we have towards our customer.

Customer orientation is all about “Attitude”, “Empathy” & “Commitment”. Our ability to instil the positive attitude in our employees, making employees empathetic by feeling the pain of the customer and then living up to the commitments they make without fail every single time.

Now I wonder as to why organisations cannot be customer oriented when it is so simple. I realise that the simplest things in life are the most complex and hence may be we are not able to instil these values in our employees and ensure that they consistently follow them.

We need to believe that retaining customers is more important then winning new customers. It is like retaining employees is more important than recruiting new employees when they leave organisations.

Let me summarise that “Customer-Orientation” is as simple as “AEC” ( Attitude, Empathy & Commitment) and let us not complicate it any further.

Let us start being customer oriented today. It is true for individuals as much as organisations.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd May 2022