“Maango Useese, Baaton Khusheese, Kaho na Kiseese” is Hindi quote which says “ Ask from God, donate happily and do not tell anyone. Someone shared this quote with me on social media and it stuck a chord.

All through our life we keep demanding for things from almost everyone around us- Our parents, teachers, friends, neighbours et all. It takes time for us to realise in life that we can ask only from God and nobody else. God gives all of us and may be the carrier ,are your parents, teachers, family or friends.

Possessiveness is our second nature. We get attached to material things more than people. It starts with “my pen”, my cycle”, “my clothes” and so on ,right from our childhood. We get very upset when someone tries to use our belongings ,even if they need them more than us.

We are reluctant to share .It takes a jolt in our life to realise that the more we give, the more we get. Many a time even after a few shocks in our lives, we are reluctant givers. When elders try to tell us that we need to give more than we take from others, we question them.

But as we grow older, we realise that this is the axiom of life, irrespective of whichever religion one follows. We get everything from the Almighty, we need to learn to give generously without expecting anything in return and do all good deeds in life ,anonymously.

It may be easier said than done, especially when we are young. We throng for material things and are indeed possessive of all that we have. We do not want to share our belongings with anyone and are keen to get credit for any small things we do.

But as we experience life, we learn our lessons, living through our own life events or through the wisdom of others. During childhood or even in our growing years at home, we do not believe in the advice of our parents or elders ,in this sphere.

We live in an illusion that we earn everything in life through our own hard work and sacrifice. The day we experience that money cannot buy many things like health or happiness ,we bow before the Almighty for forgiveness. Then ,we are willing to share with others.

Even when we are giving, we tend to take credit for the smallest good deeds we do ,without realising that there are millions around us doing much more than us and their left hand does not know what their right hand is doing.

When we stand up in life as adults and sometimes face difficulties and come out of it ,with the support and generosity of others ,then we realise that life is all about sharing, giving and caring for others.

Let us learn to give more than we get. Let us realise that the Almighty give us more than we deserve and the more we share happily without letting the world know of our little acts of kindness, the more we may be blessed.

S Ramesh Shankar

13th Feb 2023

One of the most difficult things in life is to think of of the impossible and make it happen. Someone suggested to me that we need to be kind to the unkind. I was flabbergasted. How can one be kind to someone who is unkind to you ? I said it is difficult even for me even to imagine it. However, I agreed to reflect on it and review.

On thinking about it for a while, I realised that ,may be it is true and a necessity. It is like you need to give food to the hungry and not to the well fed. Similarly, we need to be kind to the people around us, who are unkind to us.

Let us imagine our first experiences in life. The teacher in our class has to be kind, to the most difficult student in the class. Sometimes as a fellow student, one may wonder why the teacher is kind to her most errant student in class. Once ,when I asked a Principal a similar question, she replied that it is teachers and parents, who have to mould that child and such children need more help than others.

If we move to our own family, we may have not noticed that parents tend to spend more time with the truant child at home. Again, parents realise that the errant child needs more help than others to get back on the right path.

The workplace may not be very different. The best leaders will always spend more time with the most underperforming employees. This is not because they love to do it but again because they need the maximum support.

Life is no different than all such experiences at school, home or at the workplace. While, it may be difficult to be kind to the unkind, it is a test of our capability to rise above selfish limits and help those who may have been unkind to us.

A mother does not distinguish between a well behaved child or an ill behaved child. The unconditional love is showered on all children without expecting anything in return. Similarly, we have to learn to be helpful to people ,who least deserve it.

Our act of unconditional kindness will give us unlimited joy and mould us into selfless human beings. We may not realise that sometimes ,our acts of kindness may get us unexpected favours from people, whom we least expect it from.

The joy of giving is limitless. The acts of kindness need to be selfless. The benefactors should be boundary-less. Our actions should speak louder than our words. Our giving should always be more than our receiving.

The people who need it ,may not be the people who deserve it. But we need to give to the needy ,not to the more fortunate around us. Let us learn to give without expecting anything in return.

Life is more gratifying when we try the impossible and make it possible. Let us try to be kind to the unkindest people around us from today and experience the magic of kindness in our hearts.

S Ramesh Shankar

28th January 2023

 

 

It is that time of the year, when we think of new year resolutions. Most of us make resolutions to reduce our weight or get healthier and so on but break it within a fortnight of the new year.

This year I thought of a novel idea, which may not be difficult to implement but may also be sustainable for the rest of our lives. Why not we try to make at least one person smile every week of the year.

I initially thought why not make someone smile every day but then to make it more practical and sustainable ,thought of once a week. Anything which is not sustainable may fizzle out even before we imagine it.

My definition of happiness in life is attitude, contentment and gratitude. A positive attitude to life and living, being happy with what we have and not worrying about what we do not have and being grateful to all the people, who have made us successful in life.

I further realised that happiness is contagious. If you make someone happy, you are not only happier but you spread happiness to others connected with them too.

Another great learning in life is that you do not need to be wealthy to be happy or to make others happy. If we are content with what we have and we learn to live in absolute, then we are bound to be happy.

Happiness is a state of the mind. I have met people, who have nothing in life but are very happy. On the other hand, I have met millionaires, who spend sleepless nights to protect their wealth and multiply it. I am not sure if these millionaires will ever have the time to enjoy and be happy in life.

Happiness is to celebrate every moment of life. It is not something you can wait for ,to enjoy in the future. It is ephemeral and in a way spiritual. You can feel happy but can never buy happiness from others.

Another insight is that if we give more, we get more in life. If we spread happiness, we are bound to be happier ,every day of our lives. It could be spending time with your friends or relatives.

Just playing with your kids or vacation with your family can make you discover happiness. Even calling friends in distress and enquiring about their health or welfare could make you happier. Visiting your parents for no reason ,can make them happy. Visiting a school or college teacher after many years of passing out, can give them immense joy.

Happiness is self discovery. It comes from within more than from outside. This may be learnt ,as we experience life. Material things can make us momentarily happy but sustainable happiness comes from love and joy.

I have resolved to try to make at least one person happy every week in this new year. How about you trying out this idea ? You could visit a friend or your relatives. Just call someone and express gratitude for all that they have done ,in your childhood.

It could be just meeting a security guard in office or your gardner in your community and enquiring about their welfare. Life is happier when we make others happy. We need to try to experience this moment of joy in life.

As in the photo above, my friend’s daughter came all the way from New Jersey to Bangalore to spread happiness amongst differently abled children by sharing her dancing prowess.

Let us resolve to make at least one person in our lives smile every week. If we can do every day, it may be better ! Let it become a habit for the rest of our lives.

Let’s start today. Wising all of you the best of health and happiness in 2024

S Ramesh Shankar

1st Jan 2024