I was watching a movie last night and realised how important it is to call back every missed call we get, even  if we are busy with work or life at any time. In this movie, the mother calls her daughter from the death bed and she does not pick up. Then the father calls to inform his daughter that her mother is no more. This time the daughter is in a party and misses her father’s call as the phone was left for charging.

If we look back at our lives, we are not very different. We miss calls on our mobile or landline because we are busy at work or driving or shopping or partying. We may forget to call back but that may have been the most important call in our lives.

It may be a relative who has met with an accident and is in an emergency, a friend who has lost his father and is seeking help or a daughter in distress ,calling her parents. All of us are equally responsible for such lapses and it happens all around us ,day in and night out.

The best of education may not teach you this basic etiquette of life. We need to call back every missed call ,imagining that it may have been the most important call ,for the person calling us. Imagine we are in some deep trouble and nobody picks up our call and no one calls us back. The feeling of distress and disappointment ,is to be experienced to be believed.

We do not realise that neither our work nor our social life ,can justify our behaviour in such circumstances. There is no point in regretting not attending your mother’s funeral since you were busy attending a business meeting and forgot to call back your family.

I sometimes wonder, why we do not learn from the mistakes we make, every other day in our lives. We do not call back our parents ,while we missed calls at our work place. We may miss an important call from a friend or relative but just forget about it ,thinking we can always revert later. We do not realise ,that sometimes we may never be able to speak to the caller again ,since they may be breathing their last while they called us. We may have to live with that guilt ,right through our lives.

Relationships in life are much more valuable than wealth or anything else. It could be relationships within the family, it could be friends , relatives or even colleagues at work. If we cannot be of help to friends, relatives or family when they need us the most, we may not be worthy of living a fulfilling life.

I would like to dedicate this blog to the countless people, who generally forget to call back. I want to remind them and myself too that the call we missed may be a life changing experience for us. It could be the death of a near or dear one. It could be the happy news of a new born baby or it could be a distress call from a friend or relative.

Let us resolve today ,that we will never miss a call and if we do, for any reason beyond our control, we will always call back.

Let us start today. Just call back please…

S Ramesh Shankar

5th August 2023

 

We are many a time in a dilemma if we can live life our way. This happens at different stages of our lives. First as an adolescent at home, you tend to rebel against your parents and they sermonise on what you should and should not do. You hate it to say the least but wonder what to do.

As parents, we cannot accept our adolescent to rebel. This could be as simple as growing long hair or getting up late ,when you have nothing better to do. As parents, we tend to say that, this is not the way we lived. We never rebelled or got up late ,when we were your age. Each of us is different and so is every generation. What is true for us ,may not be true for the next.

I recall my father telling me that he wanted to have a long hair cut like mine ,when I was young. It was his way of conveying to me ,that I was different. He did it in a cool way and never hurt my sentiments. But sometimes, we find it difficult to accept the world view of the next generation ,when it is radically opposite to our view.

If we move on to the work place, life is no different. Our generation was keen on punctuality and timeliness ,in everything we do. Today, it is not time but the quality of output, which matters to the current generation. When asked – “Why do you not come on time ? “, they may respond that it is not the time but my output, which needs to be measured.

Both the generations ,may be right in their own way. Our ability to accept the norms of the next generation as it is ,rather than the way we want it to be ,is the challenge before us. The earlier we accept this reality of life, the better it could be for us.

Our ability to adapt to changing beliefs ,may be the key to live harmoniously ,in a changing world of generations. It is true that our parents were different from us and we are different from our children. However, it is not true that our parents were wrong or we were, nor our children. It is our ability to live our way and let others live their way.

I would prefer to live life my way and let the next generation live it their way. This may be easier said than done. This becomes all the more difficult, when it challenges your basic beliefs in life. We sometimes tend to believe ,that a certain belief in life ,is absolute. It may be worthwhile to ponder ,if we need to challenge this belief. For eg. being in office on time ,every time was the belief of a disciplined employee in the past. Today work from home and flexible working is the norm and we need to accept this reality. The output may not be impacted by this change in belief.

Life would be happier if we learn to live it our way and let others live their way. As long as we do not hinder each other in our goals and beliefs, it should be ok. How does it matter if my day starts at 6 am and my children,s day starts at noon. We may get up at 6 am and sleep at 10 pm. Our kids may get up at 10 am and sleep at 2 am. So the time relatively is the same, it is only for us to realise that our time zones are different.

Our ability to adapt and accept this reality may be the key to happiness in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

29th July 2023

 

I saw a hornet’s nest in a neighbour’s house in our community and was wondering what it was. My neighbour explained to me ,that it was a hornet’s nest. Till then, I had only heard of the idiom in English – “ Stirring a hornet’s nest” and had never seen one.

After a few days ,I noticed that the hornet’s nest had quietly disappeared from my neighbour’s home and set its nest at my backyard. I decided not to disturb the same but observe it every day silently and learn from it.

The English idiom goes as “Stirring a hornet’s nest”. The belief is that if you do not stir a hornet’s nest, it does not harm you. A hornet’s nest is a nest of wasps which can sting you, if you disturb them. As long as you do not disturb them, they do not harm you, in any way.

I have experienced this ,multiple times in my life. The first incident was when I had noticed a cobra in my bathroom at the steel plant quarters, where I lived. My wife had gone for delivering my first kid and I was staying alone. When I got up in the morning and opened the bathroom, I noticed that a cobra was relaxing inside my bathroom. I was scared . so decided to close the door and leave for office without disturbing it. In the evening, when I returned home ,I noticed that the snake had left my home ,from the same ventilator ,from where it had entered.

The lesson learnt from this incident is that ,if you do not disturb even a dangerous cobra, it will not harm you either. I have experienced this multiple times in my life time. It is equally true for dogs, cats or even monkeys, which generally frequent our community since it is green. It is full of fruit trees ,providing good fodder for them.

Life is no different ,in general. If we do not disturb the life of other human beings knowingly or unknowingly, nobody harms you. However, if we interfere in someone else’s life, then they do hit back either through words or actions.

We need to live life ,without harming anyone around us. It could be other humans,animals or birds. The moment we try to enter their personal space, they may harm us ,in order to defend their own territory. For eg. a snake may bite us, if we try to kill the snake ,using a stick in the garden. However, the same snake may disappear in the woods ,if we let it go ,as it may have just come to our garden ,in search of food.

Sometimes, we may also need to realise ,that due to human greed, we may have occupied the territory of animals or birds and not the other way around. We may have destroyed forests or lakes and built our homes, which originally belonged to these animals or birds. In this scenario, if they end up attacking us to defend their territory, we cannot blame anyone apart from ourselves.

Human needs can always be fulfilled but human greed is limitless. We need to learn to try and fulfil our needs and not our greed. The day we realise this basic tenet of life, we may have arrived and no animal or bird or plant will harm us in any way.

Let us learn to live and let live from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

3rd Sep 2023