It is natural to feel bored sometimes. It happens with all of us. It could happen at work, at home or even when you are travelling. When you go through such a phase, you feel as if the clock has stopped ticking. You feel life is not interesting any more and you also wonder how to kill your time ?. I have also gone through this experience many times in my life.

We all go through boredom and find our own innovative ways to kill it. Some of us enjoy reading a book. Others find joy in writing a blog or a poem. Some others may just like to gaze through the window and admire the beauty of nature. Some listen to music and others shake their leg when time stands still for them. I feel each of us is bestowed with some unique way of killing boredom.

Some of us find it difficult to deal with boredom, while others don’t. The key to find a way is the belief that we can. If we believe, we can, we will. If we believe, we cannot, we never will. Everything in life begins with the basic belief in oneself and one’s capabilities. Many of us tend to give up even before we try. It may be a good idea to try something and accept failure even if that thing does not click. This way we will surely find ways to kill boredom.

It is also important that what clicks for you may not excite someone else. I love to listen to music when bored. My son enjoys watching movies on TV and daughter enjoys writing articles. My wife keeps weaving her words through poetry when she wants to kill boredom. So each of us in the same family may find different ways to achieve the same goal. There is nothing right or wrong about anybody’s way.

It is also interesting to note that each of us also may find unique ways at different points of time in our own lives. Even that is fine. I enjoyed listening to music and going for walks when bored. Nowadays, I enjoy writing blogs and travelling. Tomorrow, I may watch birds and enjoy the music of nature. There is nothing wrong or right in any of these activities. Each of them is by choice and what gives me most joy at a particular point of time.

Life is no different. Even at work, we can always find ways and means to kill boredom. Some young colleagues have approached me as to how I am not bored working in my chosen field for almost four decades. I tell them that every morning when I get to work, I think of doing something different and creative at work. I challenge my thoughts and those of my colleagues. It may be a good idea to challenge ideas and ways of working of everyone around us and not challenge people. This ensures that you are not creating conflicts but finding ways and means to improve our way of working every day.

Even in our personal lives, a routine life of work-home-work makes it dull and dry. It may be good idea to explore what gives you joy and then try to do the same. I travel whenever I can and explore nature , art and culture around us. I sometimes try out new things and play with gadgets. God has given each of us enough mental capacities to challenge ourselves and learn from people around us. Learning is a journey and exciting always as there is not a destination you cannot reach.

A child can teach us as to how kill boredom without much efforts as in the photo above.

It is time to be adventurous to kill boredom. We need to take risks. We need to try out new things without worrying about failure. So what if we fail. After all the best sportspersons have not won Olympic medals without failing hundreds of times in their lives. The key is to keep trying out new things all the time. The path to fun in life is variety. The road to kill boredom is not well laid out all the time. It is up to us to explore and carve the path ourselves.

Time to begin is now.

S Ramesh Shankar

I have met employees in different organisations who have shared stories about how they were hurt with the way their managers communicated with them. I used to initially think that this may be because all of us as employees do not like to hear the bad news from our managers. For eg. Who will like a negative feedback from his or her manager ? . But, I was surprised that when I dug deep into it, I found that many employees were okay with the content of the message but were upset the way it was delivered by their managers.

This made me think as to why this happens. I assume all managers are responsible and hence will be careful in preparing their messages and more so when it is a negative message. If a manager has to sit with his employee to give a performance feedback, he will prepare his content and then deliver the message. This may be true in most of the cases. But, the real impact is not content but delivery and mode of delivery.

If a manager takes her employee to a canteen and over a cup of tea and casually makes a comment that the employee has to improve his interpersonal relations and does not substantiate with examples, it could have a negative effect. In this instance, the employee is shattered both by the content and the delivery of the message. First the employee is not prepared for the feedback. Next he feels his manager has been very frivolous and insensitive in the way it was conveyed. So, the lesson learnt is delivery is as important if not more than content of the message.

The situation is no different at home. We as parents tend to convey a negative message to our kid as if we have no ownership to it. We may say your mom feels you are reckless in behaviour though I don’t agree. This can not only harm the child more than before but also create a lack of credibility of yours in the mind space of your kid. We do not realize how a child gets impacted if the message is not conveyed in the right way.

Even in a play field, a coach can motivate a player by ensuring the message is conveyed to the player in the correct manner. A coach is respected, who is not only fair but is perceived to be fair. Perception is based in real experiences of the players. If a player is dropped for a game, the coach needs to plan and deliver this bad news to the player concerned in a proper way. If this is done much before the match and the player is explained the reasons for his dropping by the coach and the captain, this message is taken in the right spirit. On the contrary, if this is conveyed in the last minute just at the start of play, the player gets demotivated.

The same thing happens in organisations too. Employees are open to feedback. I have experienced that they respect leaders who give authentic feedback. Authenticity means that there is no gap between what I say and what I do. If I say you are good at something and then do not give you an opportunity to do that thing, then I lose respect. On the contrary if I tell you that you will not be considered for this project because you do not have the skills but will be considered for the next which will match with your strengths and keep that promise, then I am respected.

Your love and affection can be experienced by the receiver as in the photo above as long as you behave affectionately.

I think it is human to realise that “how we say” something is more important than “what we say “. We are all human and we get hurt as individuals when we are conveyed a message by our family, friends, colleagues or by our manager in an inappropriate manner. Hence, we do realise it . But, it is time to convert that realisation to practise. While we have every right to feel hurt in being conveyed a message wrongly, we have an equal responsibility to ensure that we do not hurt others by similar behaviour while we convey messages to others.

Lets be human.

S Ramesh Shankar

I have always be in awe of our festivals in India. Diwali is no exception. Apart from lights and crackers, one recalls Diwali with fond memories because the entire family got together once in a year and celebrated together. We got up early at dawn and had an oil bath before sunrise and enjoyed all the sweets and savouries all day.

Today I got a new insight on Diwali. It is celebrated in India with two different beliefs in the northern and southern part of the country. In the north, people believe that Lord Rama returned to Ayodhya after his 14 years in the forests and hence is welcomed back with lights and crackers. In the South, it is believed that Lord Krishna killed a ghost by name Narakaasura on this day in Dwaraka Yuga.

The new insight I got today is from a forward about the story of Narakaasura and the lessons for all of us. It is believed that Narakaasura is the “I” or ego residing in all of us as humans. When Lord Krishna killed Narakaasura, he eliminated our ego and released more than 16000 evils in us. So the next day on amavasya we pray to Godess Lakshmi to lead us to the right path.

Every ritual in Hindu religion and so in other religions has a deep insight for all of us. We generally get swayed by the rituals and start believing that they are of no use and most of us including me give up rituals because they serve no human purpose. I have been no exception. Now that I have all the time in the world, I am able to reflect and get new insights into these rituals.

Another interesting belief that we should clean our home and get rid of all the unwanted things. This is also symbolic that God wants us to give up all that is not necessary and take up the good things in life.

It is also enshrined in our religions that the best way to serve God is to serve the human kind. If we give more, we get more. If we are content with what we have, God always gives us more than what we need. This is the challenge for all of us. How much is enough – is a question difficult to ask and answer for oneself ?

I have admired people who give away without expecting anything in return. Recently another friend forwarded a message with a great insight. It was a couplet from Rahim. When Tulsidas looked at Rahim donating, he found his eyes looked at the ground and so asked him ” O great person, where have you learnt this amazing way of giving ? “. As your hands rise ( to give), your eyes look down. “. Rahim replies – “. The Giver is someone else ( God Almighty), giving day and night. The world has a misconception that I am the giver. So, I lower my eyes in embarrassment. ”

The best people I have met in life are those who give unconditionally. They are anonymous most of the times and recipient does not know that they are the donors. They give because they have a surplus and they are grateful to the Almighty for it and want to thank him for the generosity bestowed on them.

It is like the exotic orchid in the photo above, given my colleagues at work, which are blooming because of their unconditional love.

This blog a salute from my side to all the wonderful people who have made me what I am today. They have given me support, advice, money and love unconditionally. I can never ever return their favour in any form. I promise to give back without expecting anything in return as I bow in gratitude to them.

S Ramesh Shankar

27th October 2019