Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Become happy by making others happy

The quest for happiness in life is an unending journey for most of us. We tend to spend our lifetime trying to understand “What makes us happy in life?”. Some of us may end up searching for this answer to our own graveyards.

I neither have an an answer for everyone nor do I think there can be an universal answer to one of life’s most important questions. However, one of the things which may give happiness to almost everyone is becoming happy by making others happy.

Someone asked me if I am hungry, how can I feed others ? Yes, it is true that with an empty stomach, one may not be able to feed others. However, by sharing our food with others we may have our stomach half full but may be in a position to make someone happy. It is this attitude, which may make all the difference ,to our lives.

I have learnt after many struggles in my life that “happiness is not dependant on material wealth in life. Happiness is an attitude to life. We see in our everyday life that poor people who may not be sure of their next meal are happier than the wealthy businessmen who are struggling to save income tax by juggling financial accounts.

The poor tend to keep reasonably good health and have a good night’s sleep while many of the rich suffer from lifestyle diseases and spend more on hospitals and medicines than on their family and happiness. This leads us to the second secret of happiness and that is good health.

If we maintain good health through healthy habits of exercise and proper diet, we may lead a happier life than others. If we can help others become healthier through our company and our support, we may become happier than we are today. So, happiness could also be by making others ,healthier in life.

The third aspect of happiness could be contentment. Are we satisfied with what we have ? While there may not be anything wrong to be ambitious in life but to live in a state of discontent ,could lead to unhappiness always. If we compare ourselves to people who are less fortunate than us, we may be content. But our tendency is to compare with people who have more than us. The secret to happiness is not to compare at all. Life in absolute ,is always happier than in relativity.

The secret to happiness is our ability to make others happy. If we can share with others what we have, God may give us more than what we deserve. If we make others healthier, we may improve our own health and thus become happier. If we are happy with what we have, then happiness can never escape us.

Last but not the least is our ability to spread happiness. Do we make people happy or not ,when we are around ,is a good question to ask? If our presence makes others happy, happiness will always knock on our doors ,before it visits our neighbours.

Let us learn to be happy by spreading happiness in others lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd January 2023

 

Steps vis a vis footsteps

Someone asked me “What is the difference between steps and footsteps ?“. I had no immediate answer but found it a good point to reflect on. All of us take steps in every stage of our lives. We study hard, work hard, take care of our family and society and always want to leave our imprints behind for the future generations.

While all of us take steps, not every imprint of our steps is followed. The ones which are followed by the next generation ,I may call footsteps. The difference between steps and footsteps is all about “Followership”.

How do we leave behind a legacy that generations after us ,want to follow us ? Our children do not follow us because we are their parents. We as students do not follow teachers because they taught us . Employees do not follow leaders because they were their bosses in their career.

Then what is the “X” factor in us ,which makes children, students, employees and even citizens follow us ,after we become past tense in our lives. In my view, it is this “X” factor which is difference between our steps and footsteps.

We can see in every walk of our lives ,that we have leaders who may be successful and very effective in whatever they do. It could be our own parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, sportspersons, politicians or corporate leaders. However, some we remember and follow while others fade away after their lifetime. What are the distinguishing factors between such leaders whom we remember and follow and others whom we forget ?

What are the qualities in human beings which makes people follow them during their lifetime and even after they are no more ,in human form ? Why do some people become role models for others and some do not quality for this title ?

The first quality which people look for ,in their role model ,is their behaviour. While excellence in whatever we do ,is considered a pre-requisite for being followed by others, it is our behaviour, which outlives our lifetime. People may forget what you taught them in life but never forget how you treated them.

The second quality which people want to follow is groundedness and humility. The people who excel in whatever they do, are always grounded and feel that their journey of excellence never ends in their lifetime. They always have their feet on the ground and are unassuming by nature.

The third quality of leaders in different walks of life, whose footsteps all of us want to follow ,is their selflessness. They live for others and are always willing to share all they know ,with everyone who could benefit from it. This makes followers fall in a bee line for such leaders.

So, in my book, the difference between “Steps” & “Footsteps” is “Followership”. The qualities which distinguishes whom we may follow or not ,are their impeccable behaviour, their humility/groundedness and their selflessness.

Let us try to leave footsteps rather then our steps behind us.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd January 2023

Speech versus Silence

I read a quote which said – “ Speak only if it is more valuable than your silence.” But most of us practise it the other way around. We speak more than our silence. God has given us two ears and one mouth. But, in reality, we speak more than double of our silence.

Let us understand the power of silence. When we are silent, we do not hurt anyone. We do not talk when we are supposed to listen. We listen more actively as our mind is focussed on listening than on speaking.

On the other hand, while speaking, we do not listen actively. Our focus is on what we want to speak rather than what others are speaking. The noise of our speaking silences the talking of others. We sometimes miss the essence of what others are saying.

Some of the best examples of learning the art of silence is from kids and animals. Lets look at kids first. New born infants can speak only after they pass their first birthday. However, their communication with their parents especially the mother is to be seen to be believed. Their silence is louder than their words.

As they grow up they can speak but they use their silence to protest and get their things done from parents and siblings effectively. When a child does not speak, the parents are more concerned than when the kid is yelling.

On the other hand, animals especially pet dogs teach us great lessons on silence. We had a pet Labrador at home. She was very affectionate but would always protest more by her silence than her barking. If someone shouts at her or misbehaves, she may sulk and not eat food for hours till someone else cajoles her to eat.

Both children and animals teach us the power of silence. We need to learn to listen more than we speak. Silence is not only effective but helps us reflect and learn too. When we listen actively without speaking, we get to understand better. No wonder the popular quote goes as “Empty vessels make the most noise.”

The silence of the morning with birds chirping around makes us fresh all day. The evening silence on a full moon night makes us reflect and dream. The best of poets and authors become most productive when they are alone and in tune with nature. They can never give their best in a crowded market place.

We need to learn the power of silence and the value of our speech and use them appropriately to be most effective. We need to remember that on many occasions silence speaks louder than words.

Lets learn to be quiet when the world is noisy around us. Let us spread our wisdom more by our actions than our words. Let silence teach us more than the speeches given by others.

Let us learn to listen more to what is unsaid than what is being said. May be life could be more insightful.

S Ramesh Shankar

22nd Jan 2023