Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

“Seeing” the “Unseen”

We find it difficult to see the seen and hear the said around us. It may be difficult to “see the unseen” and “hear the unsaid” in life. The perceptive people around us do that. They are able to see the unseen and the hear the unsaid.

Psychologists tell us that more than seventy percent of our communication is non-verbal and only thirty percent is verbal. If this is even partly true, then we communicate more by the unsaid and the unseen. It may be worthwhile to then focus on the unsaid and unseen in life.

Have we observed a child communicate to her mother ? The child communicates more through actions than words. A mother is able to hear the unsaid and see the unseen. A mother knows when a child is hungry and when the nappy has to be changed even if the child does not speak nor the nappy is seen.

If this is believable fact of life, then why are we ignorant of the same. Either we are not observant enough or our mind wanders around and we do not focus on what we need to. We can learn from our parents if not anyone else around us. Our mothers can teach us more on listening to the unsaid and seeing the unseen.

Life is no different. It is our ability to see the unseen and hear the unsaid which makes us smarter than the majority of people around us. Let us examine this from the perspective of the workplace. If as a leader, we are able to sense the unsaid words of the team members and see the unseen actions of them, we may be admired as a leader.

A leader does not only see and hear from his own eyes or ears. He ensures that he listens and observes through the eyes and ears of all his team members. So, if we are in touch with everyone around us in our team and other teams, we may see and hear what we are not able to see or hear ourselves.

Another interesting learning is from the field of sports. captains may communicate more through their actions than their words. Sometimes the absence of a captain may communicate more than their presence. It is this ability to inspire even in your absence , which makes one a great leader.

We may learn from our teachers more by what they do than what they say. Sometimes the lessons of our teachers are vivid in our mind even when they are not around ,since they have embeded their life lessons in our hearts. Such is the power of the ability of gurus who teach ,not necessarily by what they say or do ,but more by what they make us learn even if they don’t say anything or show anything to us.

Our parents, teachers and leaders make us believe that it is worthwhile to learn the art of hearing the unsaid and see the unseen. They inspire us not only by their words and actions. They teach us by their absence and their silence too.

Let us learn to ‘hear the unsaid’ and ‘see the unseen’ and learn from both from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th May 2023

Care for the “Care-giver”

One of the biggest challenges in the world today is to take care of old and bed ridden family members. With many children moving out of their native countries for better career opportunities, the old and ailing members of the family are left alone to take care of themselves.

I have witnessed spouses taking care of one another without taking help from any professional agency. I salute the family members, who serve the elderly selflessly, as they realise that some day they could be old too and someone will take care of them.

However, when I recently attended a webinar on “elder care” I realised that taking care of the “care-giver” is possibly more important in society than even the person being taken care of. Imagine a dementia patient at home being taken care by a family member. The care giver may be providing selfless service in the true spirit of humanity.

But I realised after attending this webinar that the stress and strain, which a care giver goes through is possibly as much if not more than the person in distress. This tells us that we possibly do not realise the adverse impact of the patient on the care giver. We need to care for the care giver as much as he or she cares for the person in distress.

Let us examine this with a simple case. A senior citizen in a home is suffering from demnitia. The wife of the person is taking care of him day in and night out with the support of house helpers. The spouse is all alone as the kids have already left the nest for better pastures in life. So, apart from taking care of the dementia of her husband, she is managing the home affairs on a day to day basis and also bearing the stress of the reactions of the patient and its consequences. This could lead to physical and psychological stress on the spouse.

We may not realise this stress unless we experience it. A person from outside the family may be empathetic to the patient but may not realise the stress and strain the care giver is undergoing in taking care of the patient. Sometimes the impact could be irreversible and long lasting. Hence, it is important to take care of the care giver as much if not more than the patient.

Let us understand the stress the care giver goes through while taking care of a patient. They are physically and mentally exhausted. Sometimes, they may be skipping their meals to be around the patient and take care of them. This could lead to physical and mental health issues.

The psychological impact the patient may have on the care giver is also unimaginable. They may absorb all the stress of the patient onto themselves. This could lead to physical or psychological disorders, which may be visible or may be latent. It may explode at a later date if not take care of.

Thus, I realise the care for the “Care giver” is as important as the care for the patient. Let us all strive to enable the care givers to be supported as much as the people in our family or friends circle in distress and needing help and support.

Let us care for the “Care giver”.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st May 2023

 

Excellence

Everyone says “Excellence” is a journey that never ends. I sometimes ask as to how to discover this journey in life. It looks like it is easier said than done.

I was watching a TV show recently and realised what this could mean to us in our everyday lives. I saw a flautist, who played the flute as if God was playing the flute through his fingers.

I have seen sportspersons win match after match and still never feel they have arrived. They always think ,that there is something better to play in the next match, than whatever they have done so far. This is true for individual players as well as teams.

I have met subject matter experts, who can speak endlessly on their subject and can answer all your questions ,as if the subject was discovered by them on earth. Their quest to learn is never ending and their thirst for knowledge is limitless.

One meets common men and women in everyday life who excel in whatever they do and we imagine they have peaked in their domain. However, when we meet them each time, they make you realise that their journey has just begun.

A sculptor is not happy with a masterpiece nor a musician with a Grammy winning song. An actor does not end his journey with an Oscar nor a sportsperson with an Olympic medal. What makes us pause our journey when we do not even excel at our city level, leave alone district, state or country level.

After observing people, who excel in different walks of life I realise that they have some discerning qualities, which may be worth emulating. The first amongst all of these qualities, is their unequalled passion for whatever they do.

A sculptor may spend years to create a masterpiece but is never satisfied with just one. Similarly a sportsperson may have won laurels around the world in Olympics or World championships , but still doesn’t stop trying to improve always.

The second quality of a person who excels , is their limitless learning in life. A sportsperson person recently said in a press conference – “There is no failure in sports”. There are good days and bad days. You win some and you lose some but you never give up to do better all over again.

The third quality which I would love to imbibe is that their quest to do better every day of their lives. You never see them resting on their past laurels. What they did yesterday is over and what they are doing today is for a better tomorrow.

Now, let us look as to how we could apply these basic principles in our every day lives. First we need to identify what we are passionate about. Sometimes, we may not be sure and that is fine. We may discover along the way and sometimes even by chance. Once you are passionate about something, your zeal to excel increases.

Secondly, we need to learn to learn, unlearn and re-learn everyday of our lives. What we learnt in our childhood may not be relevant today. What we know today may not be applicable tomorrow , with the changing technologies impacting our lives. So , we need to have limitless quest for learning always.

The third quality is to compete with the best and to begin, compete with oneself. We all can be a better version of what we were yesterday. It could be as simple as the speed of our walking or the way we play a game. As long as we have the passion to excel, our journey never ends.

Life is a journey to excel in whatever we do and then its fun all the way.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st May 2023