Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Caring for the elderly

The other day I was in an old age home. Nowadays, they call them “assisted living places”, because when children are not there to assist their parents, they have to find places, where they could be assisted by others.

At a time, when the world has become the market place, I am not against assisted homes and assisted living ,as many times parents do not want to live in alien countries and at other times ,children do not have the space or resources, to have parents or elders with them.

Recently, I visited a friend’s mother. She seemed very happy with her stay. She was happy with the clean environment, hygienic food, a lot of activities and festivals being celebrated for all religions ,along with the cohabitants.

These homes are professionally managed and take care of the elderly very well. I went around the place and found out that it was well designed and every detail ,was taken into account. Apart from lifts, dining halls, entertainment rooms, guest rooms, there was accessible wash rooms with supportive arm rests, wash basins, a well furnished kitchen and doctors and nurses on call.

My friend’s mother seemed very happy and even advised us ,to visit all the floors, to see and experience the facilities for ourselves. We went around all the floors and it was indeed impressive.

But, when we left her flat, she told us that everything was good except when recently some of her neighbours fell sick, they were rushed to the hospital by the staff but when they died ,their bodies were donated to medical colleges for research. When we enquired, if they did not have any kids or relatives, she hesitatingly said ,that nobody visited them when they fell sick and hence the elderly, had given prior consent for their bodies ,to be donated to medical colleges.

My eyes were moist and I could not believe ,what I just heard. Life has become such. We do not have time to visit the elders in our family – it could be parents, grandparents, uncles or aunts. Today, we may not be living in the same city or country and hence they are forced to live in assisted living. But, imagine not visiting your parents when they are sick and not even being there ,to do their final rites when they die.

Although, I was aghast at what I came to know today, I was not totally taken aback. In every aspect of our lives, we do not have time to do the basic things in life. We do not have time to take care of our own health. then how on earth ,can we take care of others’ health.

In the past, if anyone in our neighbourhood fell sick, every neighbour, friend and relative would visit them and take care of them. Today, we are not even aware of ,who our neighbours are ! How can one expect anyone to take care of us, when we do not bother about others ?

We may need to look ,deep within. We need to realise that we will not remain young and youthful ,for the rest of our lives. The day we get old, our children may do the same ,of what we are doing to our elders. May be our kids could be more alienated, than we are.

It may be time ,to set the clock back and reset our lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

21st April 2024

Parents, teachers and guests

There is an old Sanskrit shloka, which states – “ Matru devo bhava, Pitru devo bhava, Acharya devo bhava and Athithi devo bhava.” It means treat your mother like God, treat your father like God, treat your teachers like God and treat your guests like God.

Today, we seem to have forgotten this verse, in letter and spirit. Our mother gives birth to us and sacrifices almost everything in her life including her career sometimes, to rear us, as good human beings. The love and affection of our mothers, mould us into compassionate and empathetic human beings.

Our father quietly takes care of the family and generally does more than what he expresses in words. He is there around for us ,whenever we need him. He is like the backbone for us, in life. His absence could make us distraught, although we may not truly value his presence, when he is around.

If we move to our teachers, they not only impart the best education for us but also mould our character by their words and deeds. We realise their value ,when we leave the precincts of the educational institutions. We value them more ,when we face tough challenges in life and they are around always, to guide us whenever and wherever ,we need their support.

Lastly, our epics teach us to treat our guests like God. We seem to have completely forgotten this, in our busy lives. A guest today ,needs to seek an appointment ,to visit us. Earlier, we visited friends or relatives without any intimation. Today, we cannot meet anyone including our relatives ,without prior appointment.

I am not sure ,if life has evolved this way or we have erased the good learning of our past and justify it ,by the busy life of today. This is evident from the fact that, not everyone around us ,has forgotten their parents, teachers or guests. It is only some of us, who claim to be busier than others , who behave this way.

If I have to reflect back, I would say ,the best way to be grateful to our parents ,would be to respect them unconditionally and take care of them, to the best of our abilities. We need to remember ,that our parents are not looking for any material support ,in most cases. They are yearning only for our love and affection.

The best way to respect our teachers ,would be to live their values, in our everyday lives. If we say and do things, which our teachers would be proud of hearing, we may make their day. Of course, visiting them whenever possible and enquiring about their health and welfare would be a great tribute ,to their contributions to our lives.

Lastly, how do we treat guests. A guest is called “athithi” in sanskrit. This literally means someone, on who comes without an appointment. We need to welcome guests unconditionally. We cannot have appointments for our siblings, friends or relatives. Just like, we cannot have our team members take appointments to meet us ,if we are their leaders ,working in organisations. It is believed ,that if we treat our guests like God, we could be blessed by the Almighty and some one else in our lives ,could also treat us that way.

Let us rediscover ourselves today and learn to respect parents, teachers and guests and be proud of our heritage.

S Ramesh Shankar

9th April 2024

 

Creativity versus Stagnation

Every one of us want to be novel and creative in every move of ours. But, some of us feel that we are stagnating and not creative enough in our work or lives. Why does this happen and what do we need to do to transcend from stagnation to creativity.

Let us start with our lives. Why do some of us feel, we are always at the dead end of a street while others keep moving forward. We may come from similar backgrounds and have similar resources. But, some of us thrive in chaos, while others stagnate.

I am an avid traveller. Let me share what my experience taught me, when my g p s failed. I was once driving through a ghat section in the interiors of Karnataka near Sringeri. My gps failed. I felt being stuck. It was a dense forest road and no directions or people to guide me.

In such a situation, there are multiple choices before us. One is to sit and cry and curse ourselves or people travelling with us ,for this state of affairs. The other is to consider it as an adventure, with the hope that it will lead us somewhere. If we chose the former, then we may be stuck where we were, for the rest of the day. On the other hand, if we are willing to take the risk and drive on ,with the hope that ,we may meet someone and it may lead us to the destination, it may happen.

In this situation, I moved on and drove wherever the mud path lead me to. I met a few people on the road and when enquired they gave me contradictory directions. But, I did not give up hope and continued my journey. My spouse also told me , let us enjoy this adventure of exploration.

Life is no different. We may at times feel ,that we have reached a dead end in our career or life. We have multiple choices before us. We can feel frustrated and feel low.. Alternatively, we can explore options before us. The pandemic of covid 19, was one such instance. I know people who wasted two years ,of the lock down period. I am also aware of others, who upskilled themselves and also enriched their knowledge, in their areas of interest.

In every situation, the choices are always, before us. If sometimes, we feel ,that we are not able to evaluate the options, we have resources around us. It can be our family members, friends, colleagues or relatives. Nothing prevents us from seeking advice, if we think we are not able to generate options ,for our challenges.

If we look at what differentiates the creative people vis a vis the stagnating people in life – it is their ability to create and explore options, risk taking and trying out new things ,even if they fail. Utilising resources around them when they think they cannot create enough alternatives themselves is their capability.

Let us live creatively and not stagnate in thoughts or action from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

4th April 2024