Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Ego



An individual’s sense of self may be called “Ego”.   All of us have a sense of ourselves and it may be necessary to have it.   We all need a sense of belief and confidence in ourselves to give our best.  So, the word “Ego” per se is not a bad thing.  The problem comes when our ego overpowers us.  It is at this stage, we lose control of ourselves.   We act in a way, which hurts others.  Our ego is like the sun.  While the sun is beneficial to us, over exposure to the sun can cause all sorts of problems.  As long as we can regulate the exposure to the sun, it is always good for us.  Similarly, if we control the ego like keeping the sun within our fingers in the picture above, ego can help us build confidence in our self always. 

Let us look at how the ego impacts our behaviour in the family, at the workplace and in the society.  As a child, we behave normally and are willing to accept our mistakes and forgive others as well.  But, as we grow as adults, our ego bloats.  We have a larger image of our self as compared to others even in the family.  We start believing that other than us, nobody else could be right.  We want it our way or the highway.  This puts pressure on our own kids and siblings and considerable stress in family relations.

Now, let us move to the work place.  When we start our career, we are at our best behaviours.  We work hard and learn at every opportunity we get.  But, as we grow in our career and gain experience, we start gaining confidence in our abilities.  This is a good thing.  But as confidence transforms into over confidence, our ego takes charge.  We start believing that nobody else can be better than us.  Our interpersonal skills are put to test.  We get into more conflicts and ego clashes. Then, when we get promoted as a manager, we tend to believe we have two horns on our head.  Our pride overtakes our performance.  This is where we need to ground ourselves.  We need to reflect and learn to be humble as otherwise that may be the start of our downfall in our career.

If we move to the society and community, we start as grounded citizens.  As we prosper in life and career, we tend to gain power and status in society.  This power translates into arrogance and thereby we start ignoring others and believing that society depends on us rather than the other way around.  It is at this stage, some Good Samaritan has to mentor us and get us back to track.  At no stage in life, an individual can be bigger than an organisation or the society at large.  Hence, the earlier we realise this gospel truth, the better it is for us to develop as mature citizens of society.

Thus, we can see that “Ego” is necessary in life.  As long as we have control over our ego, it is fine.  The day our “Ego” starts controlling us we are doomed.  Ego has to enable confidence in us.  It has to make us believe in ourselves.  It has to propel us to deliver at work and in life.  The day our ego derails us and makes us arrogant, we need to hear the red herring.

Let’s manage our “Ego” and not the other way around. 

S Ramesh Shankar

Grass is greener on the other side always

Many of us would have heard this saying that the grass is always greener on the side of the shore.  It looks true in life too.The poorest man in the world aspires to the be richest. While the richest man wants to the be the happiest person and so on.  None of us seem to be happy with what we have with us.  We always want what others have and we don’t.


Have we ever asked ourselves as to why this happens to most of us in life ?  Is it because of the way we are brought up in life ?  Is it because of our education system, which makes us competitive ?   Is it because we assume that status in life is determined by more wealth than others ?  I really do not know the answer.  But, the truth is that all of us go through this in our lives.

Let us start from our childhood.  We look at other children and always complain that they have better books, better clothes, better sports goods and so on.  We also have aspired for things we did not have.  Then if we move to college life, life has not been different.  The only difference is that our needs transform into greed.  We want a bike, an expensive mobile phone and a car since our college mates have it.  It really does not matter to us whether we need them or  if our parents can afford them.  Some of us have blackmailed our parents to get what we want by linking it to exam results and so on.

Now, let us move to our work life.  Many of us are not happy with our work, our boss and the the company culture and so on.   We end up changing our job or role or location.   It’s interesting that many of us have realised that when we move to the other side , it makes us realize that life was greener at our original end.

It needs a lot of guts to change.  It requires courage to challenge the status quo.  Some of us take the plunge and when we land at the other side, life looks no different – or may be it does look different for some of us.  But, as time passes, there are other shores, which again look greener to us.

So, this journey is elusive.  The destination is not definable.  Does this mean we should not dream of greener pastures ?  Of course, we should.  All of us need to aspire for betterment in life and living.  We should look and get inspired by people around us, who are our role models. But, we need to work hard to realize our dreams  and accomplish greener pastures.

The only lesson I have learnt is that in the process of aspiring for more and admiring greener pastures on the other side, we fail to enjoy the present.  We need to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.  If you can recall the last time, you travelled by train, you will remember that admiring the green rice fields, the tea garden on th hill slopes, the passing mountains and the vastness of the river along side the train tracks were as much admirable as the beauty of our destination.

“Contentment” is the art of being happy with what we have.  Easier to state than to live.  But, may be worth a try.  If we can be happy with what we have, we may get what we want in life.  Let us the enjoy the greenery in our existing life before we look at the other shores.

Admire and enjoy  your journey as much as your destination.

S Ramesh Shankar

Theory versus Practice


All theory evolves from practise and vice versa.  If Isaac Newton had not sat under the apple tree, the theory of gravity may not have been discovered by him.  Hence, it is quite clear that theory is enunciated based on practical experiments or experiences and the other way around.

However, what is amusing in life is that many of us become very strong on theory and find it difficult to practise.  For eg. I have met people who can give an excellent lecture on “Gandhism” and write outstanding articles explaining Gandhi’s thoughts and how they could be practised in life.  However, they find it difficult to live a Gandhian life themselves.  This dichotomy leads to lack of personal credibility.

In the organisation context, if I preach on how critical it is for all of us to be customer oriented but I do not have time even to meet my customers, it is a case of double speak.  This, in my view is the gap between theory and practise.  Today’s generation is not very keen to listen to your wisdom based on your experience.  They are more keen to follow your actions everyday at home and at work.  It may be great for me to give a lecture on how the camel is the best animal to trek on a desert.  Nobody will agree with me till I can demonstrate that I can do it in the desert heat and balance my way as the camel trudges along the desert.

The situation is not very different at home.  Your children may listen to your pep talks till they grow into adolescents.  But, as they grow further, they would prefer to follow what you do.  You may be an expert on how consumption of tobacco is harmful to human beings and may have published research papers on the subject.  But, if they see you smoking, they are more likely to get hooked to smoking rather than to spread the harmful effects of tobacco.

If we see this phenomenon at home and in the organisation, the situation is similar in communities and society at large.  No public icon – whether in politics, sports or cinema is admired for what they say on television.  Youngsters today follow them in their daily lives even through social media and decide to follow them only when they are convinced that their leader practises what he preaches.

So, all in all our personal credibility is built on our ability to bridge the gap between theory and practise.  If I have to summarise, it is better to practise before you preach.  Or preach only what you practise in your daily life.  It is applicable as a parent at home, as a leader at work or an icon in society.

Time to start practising before preaching is today !

S Ramesh Shankar