Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

There is a time for everything in life …


We sometimes wonder why something never happens when we plan for it but happens when we least expect it.  I believe there is a time for everything in life.  One may call it destiny while others may term it luck.  It is true that things happen when they are supposed to happen and not necessarily when we want them to happen.  Even if we look at nature, it may rain on a hot and sultry summer day and there may be no rain on a cloudy monsoon evening.

Life is is no different.  We all have dreams and desires in life.  We want things to happen the way we yearn for it.  But, it does not always work that way.  If we look at our personal lives, we may have multiple examples of how things did not go the way we had envisaged.  It could be the education we wanted to pursue or the boy or girl we wanted to marry.  Life has its own way of opening itself for us and the way we adapt to it makes us a winner rather than a loser.

I am an avid traveller.  I sometimes love to take off in my car with my family with no destination in mind.  Life in a way is like that.  We may plan for something and something else may happen.  So, it may be the best thing to plan for anything and be ready for the opposite to happen.  The earlier we realize it in life, the better it is for us.  It is so much fun to explore your destination after you hit the road rather than meticulously plan for it and change it based on some road block on the way.

If we reflect on our career, the story may not be very different.  We have to plan for our career and work meticulously to achieve our dreams.  I am not for a minute recommending that destiny will determine your career.  What I am putting forth is that sometimes even in our career, there may be a turning point, which we may not have anticipated.  Rather than cribbing and crying over it, it may be helpful to accept it as a reality and make the best out of this turn.

While it may be easier to state that we need to accept the unanticipated turns in our life as destiny or luck, it may be very hard to digest it as a reality and deal with it.  What are the alternatives before us when something does not go the way we want it.  We can cry over it and feel depressed or take it in our stride and move on. I am recommending the latter approach, which makes you stronger to deal with any conditions in your life.

Even if your look at your family situation, life is not different.  Your kids may strive hard for admission in the best universities and may not get it.  But one fine day, they may get an offer from their dream organisation which they themselves may not believe to be true.  That is the fate of destiny.  While most of us feel low, when things do not go our way, we may not be equally grateful, when things go our way and we least expected it.

Like in the photo above, we least expected snow in April in Munich.  But as it was freezing, it was time to enjoy it rather than crib about it.

I would say that we need to strike a balance in life.  While we should continue to strive hard and plan for our future, we should take luck or destiny as it crosses us in life rather than wait for it.  It is like having your meal in a restaurant on the highway as it comes rather than look for a dream hotel, which may never be spotted till you reach your destination.

Life is full of surprises . Let us enjoy it.

S Ramesh Shankar

Blankness


I am not sure if this is a correct word in English.  But I am not worried about that as long as I am able to express what I feel.  There are some days when you are alone and feel that you are in a state of flux.  It is a feeling of emptiness and you think as if there is no meaning in life.  You also feel that there is neither a beginning nor an end to anything you do in life.  Is this a feeling some of us feel some time or the other in our life.  What do we do when this happens ?

The first good news is that we are not alone.  Many of us go through this in our life time.  Not once but may be many times. There is nothing to feel sad or disappointed.  It is like while undertaking a long road trip, you sometimes end up on a road, which is a dead end.  Neither your map works nor anything else.  Over and above there may be no sign of life anywhere around you.  The mobile network may not work too and then you wonder what to do.

If we end up in such a situation, what do we do ?  We do not abandon the car at that point and wonder what to do.  We reflect and contemplate.  Sometimes, we may retract our route and drive from where we came till we find a turn or a person to guide us.  Life is no different.  We have to pause and take a break some times.  It will look as if there is emptiness and we are in a state of vacuum.  It is ok to feel this way.  Just take a deep breath and may be a break and you may be able to restart life all over again.

I am reminded of the problems most of us face while using computers.  When the screen hangs and no key makes any impact, what do we do.  We either switch off and on the computer or press “Control+Alt+del”.  It is the same thing we have to do in our lives.  When we reach a dead end, we have to take a break.  We have to reboot ourselves and start all over again.  There is nothing right or wrong about such instances.  Interestingly many of us face such situations more often than not today in our lives.

This may happen in our career too.  We may feel we have reached a dead end and there may appear no light at the end of the tunnel.  There is no need to panic.  We need to introspect.  Are we equipped to deal with changing directions in our career.? Are we skilled to deal with the changing business environment?   Are we the best in whatever we do so that nobody can bypass us ?  If the the answer is yes to one or all of the above, we know what do do.

In case, we are still groping to find the answer, it may still never be too late.   If we cannot find the answer ourselves, we can ask our colleagues, seniors, family, friends or well wishers.  After all in life, we may have all the questions and it is human not to have all the answers.  If we did, we may not believe in that spiritual power, whom we may call God or by any other name.  Like in the photo above, if you are in a hot air balloon with a boat in the midst of the sea and do not know which side to row, what do you do ?

I am a born optimist.  I believe every question has to have an answer.  If we do not the know the same, it does not mean the answer does not exist.  We need to have the humility first to accept that we do not know the answer to our question in life and then the courage to ask the right person to help us.   Life is complex but the way to deal with it is simple.  When in doubt, ask ?

Is it possible ?

S Ramesh Shankar

Broken Relationships..


Life is a web of relationships.  It starts with the family and then extends to school, college and organisations.  We meet friends, colleagues and well wishers everywhere.  Our life revolves around these relationships.  We gain from some and lose from others.  But then we learn to live with them and deal with them as it evolves.  Some help us move on in life while others teach us to slow down and change course.

Every relationship is unique.  It starts with your family.  Your parents and siblings are the first you connect with.  You get close to your mother or father.  You trust them blindly and consult them for everythinig in life.  Sometimes one of your siblings also becomes a friend and you are able to discuss all issues under the sun.  Then you get out of home to college and then to work.  Now, you develop friendships with colleagues.

This process of building relationships all around you is an integral part of your life.  One of these relationship blossoms and you tend to get closer by the day.  It becomes symbiotic and mutually rewarding.  When it happen between two sexes, you tend to get attracted to each other through mind, body and soul.  This blossoms into a partnership.  You tend to believe that you cannot live without each other.  It is gratifying when this relationship fructifies into a life long partnership through a marriage.

But sometimes life takes a different turn and the person you are closest to ditches you, leaves you and deserts you when you least expect that to happen.  Your life is shattered.  You question the meaning of life and no words of consolation can console you.  You believe that life is unfair to you.  It is only time, which can heal you and this experience is to be gone through to be believed.  It is painful to say the least.

But after you get over it, life becomes easier for you.  You tend to believe that you are made of steel.  No force on earth can melt you.  No hurt can destroy you.  You believe you can now live life on your own terms.  It is like the fire melting and moulding the steel into shape in a furnace.  Your life is now moulded  through tough experiences of the past to take up any challenge in the future.

You become reflective on life.  You tend to believe that everyone goes though ups and downs and it is up to us to take it in our stride and deal with it.  There are no full stops in life.  Life is full of commas and semicolons.  You need to take a deep breadth and if needed medidate a bit and move on.  It is easier said than done.  But life is like that.  How can we define life in all its colours to anyone ?  

We neither can imagine what will happen the next hour, next day or even the week ahead ?  So, why break our head.  Let us deal with life as it comes.  In a way, if you are destined to go through tough times at an early stage of your life, the better it is for you.  It makes you determined.  It toughesns you and you are ready to take on anything in life.  Like in the photo above, you pick up your strands to rebuild your life even if your partner deserts you when you least expected it to happen. You have to learn to deal with the waves of life on your own terms and then become a winner.

Let us lead life the way we want to rather then get bogged down by the obstacles on our way.  It is like the river flowing down the mountains.  It may take months or days to wade through rocks but the river never stops.

Lets learn to move on.

S Ramesh Shankar