Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

What money can’t buy ?

IMG_0356

One of the challenges every generation faces is the craving for wealth. We all grow up dreaming of accumulating wealth so that all our needs in life can be fulfilled. We also tend to believe that with money one can buy anything and everything in life. This dream appears to be the ultimate truth till reality hits us some day. I met a youngster today in my office. She is a talented young professional and is married to another talented professional by choice. They have one kid and both are doing well in their careers.

This young professional made a confession to me. She said that till recently she believed that money could get her all that she wants in life. However, she had a set back in her health and this made her realize that money cannot buy her health. It shook her so much that she decided to take a career break so that she can focus on her health and her family.

Another young guy shared another interesting insight. He said he has all the money he needed but his quest for happiness was elusive. This may be because that money cannot buy happiness too. Happiness is a state of mind. It is an attitude to life. You can find a man on the street in abject poverty who finds it difficult to earn for the food and shelter of his family every day. But this person is content and happy with what he has and finds ways and means of giving back to society. On the other hand, many of us with abundant wealth have our desires and needs unfulfilled forever.

One of my fundamental learnings in life is that money cannot buy health or happiness in life. We need to work every day to evolve habits of diet and exercise so that we lead a healthy life. We need to work to fulfill our needs and manage our greed so that happiness does not elude us. Happiness is function of gratitude and contentment in my view. As long as we are grateful for what we have in life and content with ourselves without comparing with others when our needs are fulfilled, we may be happy in life.

This may be easier to state than to realize. I may confess that it took me many years in life to realize this. Today if I look back at my life, I should state that my family and societal values have helped me to be content and grateful in life. I should thank my diabetes and my spouse’s encouragement for my maintaining a healthy diet and a good daily exercise routine. This has enabled me to maintain good health and be happy in life at all times.

It may be worthwhile to reflect on this issue. I know of the richest people in my country who could have bought islands around the world with their wealth. But they could not buy health nor happiness in their sunset years. This proves that wealth can never buy health or happiness. The earlier we realize this axiom of life, the better it is for us. It may help us lead a healthier and happier life very early in our life time.

The happy kids in the photo above in a remote village proves that wealth and happiness are not correlated.

Another interesting insight is that both health and happiness are self dependant. You can never delegate your exercising or attitude to life to someone else. One has to be self disciplined in diet and exercise to maintain good health. Similarly one has to be content and grateful to everything in your life to be happy. You can neither buy, rent or lease health or happiness.

Try it.

S Ramesh Shankar

Loneliness

I have always wondered as to why people feel lonely in today’s world. I have met people in different age groups and in different classes of society who are lonely. One may have thousands of friends in the social media but still feels lonely. My insight is that technology and social media can help you improve your reach and efficiency but it can never give you solace or share emotions with you.

This could be the reason for the loneliness of people. Today people travel around the world and are able to earn wealth to their heart’s content. But they do not have people around them with whom they can laugh or cry. They can share their joy around the world with their online friends within seconds. But virtual sharing does not touch the emotions in their body. They cannot share their tears of joy or sorrow with anyone.

I remember an incident where a young colleague working with me in a multinational company wanted to work in a foreign country. I tried my best and then sent him on a delegation to New Zealand from India. He was excited and profusely thanked me for this opportunity. He was very happy to land at this beautiful country of milk and mountains. He was enthralled with the natural beauty of this country.

I was happy that he got an opportunity and he was enjoying his experience. But within two weeks he called me that he wanted to return to India. I was worried as to what went wrong. I enquired about his health and welfare. He said everything was ok. When probed a bit further he said that he felt lonely in this country. He drove for miles on the road and did not find anyone around. He could only see a few herds of sheep and cattle at a distance. He had nobody to share his joy or loneliness.

This made me realize that man is a social being. He needs to have people around him to be happy. If you are bought up in place where you meet thousands of people on the road even on the highway when are you driving you get used to this scenario. When you end up in a foreign land where you hardly meet people on the road, you are anxious and lonely. This may lead to anxiety and depression in your life.

Today people are busy on their mobile phones finding friends and relationships. They neither have the time nor the skills to meet people face to face and build relationships. They do not have many people around them to share their emotions. Joint families have broken down into nuclear families. Children are not encouraged to play in the park and make friends. They are busy on tablets, mobiles or televisions playing games and making friends. No wonder human beings are getting lonelier by the day.

The only difference I can see between human beings and animals is that we have emotions and we can express ourselves. We are capable of sharing our joy and sorrow with others. However, when we deny ourselves of this privilege we end up as lonely beings only fiddling with our mobile phones. We feel awkward to talk to co-passengers in a plane, train or bus. We are busy watching a movie, listening to music or playing games in our own electronic devices.

As in the photo above, you may feel lonely in a crowd or even in a heritage monument surrounded by pillars.

It is time to wake up to this reality. It is time to learn from our fore fathers. It is time to realise that we are a social being. It is time to share our feelings and emotions with others. It is time to use technology to enable our efficiency and share our feelings and emotions with others to be socially alive and happy in life.

Is it time to wake up ?

S Ramesh Shankar

Learning to accept a defeat with grace…

Today we lost to New Zealand in the cricket World Cup and a billion hearts are disheartened. It is natural to feel that way. Even I am a cricket buff and felt disappointed at India’s defeat.

However, it is important to remember that our team played very well and topped the league table before the semi final. They lost only one game to England and then the semi final. We had a bad day today and our batsmen failed and so we lost.

I see a lot of negativity in the air. A lot of criticism of our team, especially our batsmen and I think it is unfair. After all the highest run getter was Rohit Sharma so far and he may remain so at the end of the World Cup too. Nobody has hit five centuries in a World Cup so far and it is a world record.

Our fielding has been excellent and consistent right through the World Cup. Our bowlers have done a magnificent job and Jasprit Bumrah is the number one bowler in the world in this format of the game. One defeat should not make us demoralised. After all it is a game and someone has to win and someone has to lose.

Many people have criticised Dhoni during this World Cup. They forget that 47 out of 52 innings in such situations where India was about to lose, he single handedly won the game for us. Today he could not and we end up blaming him. After all he is human too like all of us.

Life is no different. We tend lose our heart by just one failure. It could be poor marks in an academic course or even not getting an offer after a good interview in a job. It is important to remember that life is not over with just one disappointment. We need to get up and bounce back.

Let us applaud our cricketers for reaching the semi finals of the cricket World Cup for the third successive time and let us celebrate their efforts today. I think we have a great team. They have been consistent and have focussed on batting, bowling and fielding. Let us not beat ourselves too much.

Today the better team won the match. Let us give the credit to New Zealand and congratulate them. However, let us not beat ourselves too much. We need to accept defeat with grace and move on to the next big tournament.

It is like learning from kids ( as in the photo above). They don’t give up after one failure. They persevere till they succeed and reach the peak of a mountain.

Similarly in life, we need to accept a failure and move on. Learn from our mistakes but focus on our efforts so that at the next opportunity we will be a winner again.

Congrats team India and our best wishes to New Zealand to win the finals.

S Ramesh Shankar