Belittling

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Each of us have a place in our society. Each of us has a role we play. We all try our best to live up to the expectations of our role. It is like every player in a football team has a specific role to play and they try their best to play their role to the best of their ability. Life is no different. Let us look at our daily life. We see people play different roles right through the day. It could be the newspaper boy who drops your morning paper. It could be the security guard, who guards your community premises. It could be your maid, your driver or even your cook. We cannot imagine our life to be complete without each of them playing their role.

Some of us have a tendency to belittle some roles in life. Even in the professional field, some people may consider their jobs more valuable than others. This is more of perception than reality. The best example are the fingers or toes in our arms. All the fingers have the same value although may play different functions in our daily chores. But, imagine the thumb thinking that she is superior to the little finger and makes us believe so. Then we realise the value of the little finger only when it is injured in an accident and we are unable to use it for doing our routine tasks.

It is like in the age old caste system in India. Some castes considered themselves upper castes and others were considered lower in the social strata. This is more of a mindset issue. In my view all human beings irrespective of their caste are equal in every possible way. They ability to add value to society depends on their knowledge, skill and attitude rather than caste. Modernisation has proved that caste has nothing to do with the growth of the human kind. But, traditionally people belonging to the upper castes did belittle the lower castes in society. This is a more psychological limitation of the upper castes in their mind rather than a reality based on scientific facts.

I sometimes wonder why do we belittle people around us. A child sometimes ends up even belittling his mother because she may not be as educated as the kid. The child believes that being more educated gives him the right to underestimate his mother. Time and experience teaches the child that education cannot make you superior to others. It could add value to your knowledge but cannot necessarily substitute experience or hone your attitude to life.

We see this behaviour within the precincts of the organisation too. People in particular positions think that they are superior to the people doing others jobs. It is like a white collared staff thinking that he is superior to the blue collared workman. The staff does not realise that he can never make the product a workman produces ever in his life even if he tries his best. This is not because he cannot ever but does not have the skills to do the same. It is true for all professions and all roles. We may be highly qualified from the best Universities but cannot compare ourselves with someone else, who has skills we do not have.

The truth is that societies also tend to value roles differently. Every society values some roles more than others. This could be due to historic reasons or due lack of adequate awareness of the different roles. But I do believe that evolved societies respect all roles with equal reverence. This is the true reflection for human development. This can be seen in developed societies where nobody is hesitant to share what they do since every role in the community is equally respected.

We need to learn to respect every role in life. There is no justification of belittling others and then justifying it. I would say that is human limitation to belittle others. It reflects more in our inability than ability to know others and their value in society. We need to learn to respect each and every person around us and their contributions to life. This is the only we learn and grow in life.

It may be belittling to dinosaurs to compare them with humans as in the photo above.

Let us start to respect everyone around us from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

Happiness Unlimited

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The choice to be happy or unhappy every day in our life is in our hands. It depends on how we exercise this choice. Every day of our life, we have choices to make and this determines if we are happy or otherwise. Every situation in life has two sides. It is like looking at the glass half empty or half full. If we look at life as a half full glass, it makes us happy every day. On the other hand, if we keep worrying about the half empty glass, then life is treacherous leave alone being unhappy.

How do we be happy at all times ? It may not be practical to be happy at all times of your life. But the day we realise that we have a choice in everything we do every day, we may live happily. If we succeed in any effort, we are bound to feel good. On the other hand failure of any type makes us sad. When we fail, we have a choice to sob or reflect and learn from our mistakes.

It is like after running 40 kilometres if we are not able to complete a full marathon of 42 kilometres, we have a choice to curse ourselves for not completing the last two kilometres or pat ourselves on the back for completing 40 kilometres successfully and preparing earnestly for the next marathon to be a winner. So, in every situation we can regret and feel sad or rejoice whatever we could achieve and resolve to attain higher goals in the future.

Life is no different. Every day, God gives us the ability to make a choice. We can get up in the morning and be grateful for all the wonderful things he has blessed us with. On the other hand, we also have the option to curse ourselves and feel bad as we are not as wealthy as our neighbours or our siblings. In every situation, the choice we make, makes us happy or unhappy.

Happiness in my view is a state of mind. It is an attitude to life. I have met people who earn just enough to meet their daily needs every day but are always happy and willing to help others in all ways they can. On the other hand, I have met senior managers in organisations who earn enough for their next birth too but are never happy with their salary or quality of life. The day we realise that we can buy material things through money but can never buy happiness from any shop, we may have changed our attitude to life.

I am a born optimist and luckily for me my spouse is equally a contended person. We have been happily married for more than three decades and have gone through all the ups and downs of life. We have been happy when our monthly salary was just enough to meet both our ends or today when we are blessed with enough for our future. We realised as in the photo above that living life as if tomorrow does not exist is one key to happiness. Another mutual learning is to ensure that our greed never exceeds our need. Our third mantra to happiness has been to live within our means. We have never lived on credit and have always tried to be be debt free throughout our life( except for house, car or medical emergency loans taken at some stages of life)

So, we have a choice to make. The date and time to make the choice is every day and every minute. If we wait for the auspicious day to be happy, it may never arrive. It is better to live every day as if today has been the best in your life. If something goes wrong, it is better to hope that tomorrow will be a better day rather than brooding over yesterday and spoiling our future.

Let us start now. Be happy forever.

S Ramesh Shankar

Joy of living

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I experience joy by enjoying the little things of life. I love the smell of the wet mud after the first rains. I love the song of nature when the birds are chirping during my morning walk. I love watching through the window when travelling on a long distance train. I love looking at the moon and wondering as to how it travels with me as I am zipping past it in a super fast train.

Life is celebration of the “Joy of little things” for me. My day begins with listening to birds and enjoying the music of nature. Then I enjoy the cartoon in the morning newspaper where the creator conveys a great message even without uttering a word through his caricatures. I admire the commitment of my maid and driver, who report for duty day in and day out without any excuses.

Each little thing in life adds joy to my life. The lyrics of a song fascinates me and make me glide in imagination. The sound of the sea waves in front of my house reminds me of the ups and downs of life. It makes me realise how the stones on the shore weather all the storm and still are ever willing to face the next wave. I admire the hard working fishermen who set to sail before dawn to end the day with no catch but yet try again the very next day.

The potter whom I met in a village taught me many lessons on contentment in life. You need not be rich to be happy in life. On the contrary, wealth can neither guarantee good health nor happiness in life. The village folk teach us to be in touch with nature and be grateful. We get greedy with the materialistic world and our greed invariably exceeds our needs and thus creates a lot of unnecessary frustration in our lives.

Watching the sun rise and the sunset gives me joy. I can spend hours watching the sun set and birds return to their nests. The art in the clouds during the twilight hour is to be seen to be believed. Every day is a new pattern and no designer or artist in the world can ever imagine it. I wonder how the stars twinkle in the night sky. It looks like a black carpet with diamonds sparkling on it.

I can spend a whole day watching children play in a park. I am amazed at the way they fight and then within minutes resolve their conflicts. They are willing to play and interact with other kids of different age groups. They do not look at caste, creed or social status while playing with each other. I wonder why human being lose all these wonderful qualities when we grow into an adult.

I love the mountains too. Trekking on a snow clad mountain can be breath taking, literally. However, when you reach the peak, you feel as if you are on the top of the Himalayas. The generosity of the people living in the hills melts your heart. They treat you as their guests in their homes when you go past their tenements. This phenomenon is rarely seen in urban communities.

Enjoying a swing in a hammock may be a small thing but gives joy to my spouse as in the photo above.

I also love to listen to music. I can spend hours together listening to jazz, ghazals or light instrumental music. Interestingly I write most of my blogs while I am in a flight listening to music using headphones. It transcends me to a different world and words flow through my keyboard like water gushing through the river. I sometimes wonder how these thoughts deep inside me find expression in words.

All these little things give joy to my life. How about you ?

S Ramesh Shankar