Sea Change


We watch people around us every day.  Most people grow from childhood to adulthood and their behaviour and actions are quite predictable.  We form our own opinion about them based on their behaviours and generally it is quite as expected.  But, sometimes people change and this change is unbelievable.  We sometimes feel that even animals are more predictable than human beings. I would like to share some examples from my life to illustrate this better.

We had a driver in Bangalore.  He was very sincere and committed to work.  He was a bachelor and was quite self disciplined.  I even enabled him to buy a motorcycle by helping him with a vehicle loan from a bank.  He continued to work well .  He was an occasional smoker and may be had an occasional drink too.  But, all of a sudden he changed.  He went home for a vacation and when he returned, he turned to alchohol and his behaviour turned from bad to worse.  He started absenting frequently and became less disciplined at work.  I moved to another location and hence he started working with someone else.  But, after he moved away from me he stopped repaying the auto loan and his life became quite a mess.  I could not believe such a young and committed boy transforming himself in such a dramatic way.

We had a servant cum cook at home.  She was very honest and hard working.  She had a smiling face and was punctual and dedicated to her work.  She supported my wife almost on everything in my house.  She was married and her husband worked as a Gardner in our own campus. Both their children studied well and we were happy to support them in their education.  But, suddenly one day when my wife and me had gone on a vacation, she ended up stealing some ornaments and when confronted denied doing so.  Further, she deserted her husband and eloped with someone else and this again was unbelievable.  By the grace of God, her husband continued to be honest and dedicated and she returned to him after her paramour ditched her after some months.  

In the third instance, we had a colleague who was quite close to us.  Our families were close friends and we visited each other almost every weekend.  All of a sudden he stopped talking to us .  He avoided us and would not visit us on weekends.  He had advised his wife and daughter not to talk to us or visit us.  We found it strange since there was no conflict between us nor any misunderstanding.  I tried to talk to him to sort out any wrong notions but he ignored all my efforts in this direction.  It was unbelievable but true.  It took years for him to realize that there was nothing wrong between us and today he has started talking to us again after almost a decade.

So, life is unpredictable and sometimes people around you go through a sea change.  Many a time, you can never understand why this happens.  It is very difficult to accept it as a reality.  All your efforts to get to the root cause gives you no clue.  You then leave it to time to heal itself.  Sometimes it works and at other times it does not.  But, it is intriguing and unpredictable.

This is life and we have to take it as it comes.

S Ramesh Shankar

Instant Gratification


We live in an era of “quick fixes” for everything in life.  We want “ready made food” in the kitchen to brokers to do all our jobs at half the time to finishing an educational course by hook or by crook.  We are impatient for results and are least bothered about the process.  On a lighter vein, at least God has ensured that we have to wait for 9 months to have a child.  If we could influence that, we would have tried 2 minute babies like noodles !  Children look for instant gratification in everything they do and that is understandable.  However, as adults instead of learning the good things from children, we carry it in on in our life and want instant results for all our actions. 

Why are we in a hurry today ?  Is it because of the competitive landscape around us ?  Is it because of the limited resources available to us in the world. ?  I am not very sure.  But, let us get to the root cause of the issue.  We all go through the same education system, live in the same society and have the same opportuities and resources.  We want to take more than we give back to society.

If we look at the competitive landscape around us, we find that this is injected in our blood right from childhood.  As children grow up in a community, parents induce competitive behaviour in us.  We have to be better than our neighbours in everything we do.  We spend more time in tuition classes than even in the school classrooms.  We have to learn sports, music, art and other hobbies irrespective of our own intersts.  All this is encouraged by our own family and friends. Then, how can we blame the society around us.

If we move to the work place, we compete with everyone around us and want to establsih our superiority by every possible action at our command.  Our performance management systems are based on differentiation and relative assessment of performance.  We blame the bell curve for our irresponsible behaviour.  Are we justified in our actions.  I am happy that many organisations today are giving equal weightage to “What” & “How”of performance.  We not only are rewarded for the results per se but how we accomplished those results.

In many cultures, your value is measured by the size of your car and house and not by the size of your heart.  Material wealth is valued much more than mental, physical or emotional wealth.  It is this orientation in society that may have led us to this state of affairs.  We are keen to plunder the wealth of the society and nature around us but least bothered about how we can give back.  We are not much concerned about our future generations.  While technology has helped us lead better lives, we have not used technology to better human kind.

Whom should we blame for this state of affairs ?  We have to blame ourselves. We need to reset our buttons.  It is time for Control + Alt + Del in our life.  We need to re discover our priorities.  We have to instil excellence in our children as a value but not at the cost of other children.  We have to give back more to society than we take.  We have to make individuals care and share in organisations to create collective happiness.

Let us restart today.

S Ramesh Shankar

Saluting women in my life


“Woman = Man”, Woman > Man or Man > Woman”. This is a debate, which may be on for centuries. In my view, this may not be the best way to celebrate “International Women’s day”.  

Organisations celebrate this day by organising functions or special events for women to salute them and recognize their contributions to everyone. This is more of a ritual and quickly forgotten as the calendar turns to March 9th every year. 

I have been asked many a time as to what could be some innovative ways of celebrating this day. I would prefer to spend the day educating the men amongst us as to how we could recognize the women in our life and be grateful to them for our successes in life.

Most men including me possibly do not realise the invaluable contributions of women in our life. It starts the day we are born, when they go through all the pain to deliver us as a normal child on earth. From then on, as a mother, sister, spouse or friend they nurture and care for us to make us successful in every step of our life.

It is today for us to realise the value of their contributions, introspect and commit to support them every day to their success in life. It could be small things in life but will go a long way in respecting and rewarding them every day of our lives. The small steps could be like dropping a kid to school, helping in the kitchen, getting groceries for home or consulting your spouse in every key decision of your life.

At work, it could be supporting your colleagues to succeed, projecting the successes of women colleagues, when they deserve it and treating them with dignity and respect.

As in the photo above, my spouse has contributed immensely to all my successes in life.  I am ever grateful to her and commit to support her in every possible way I can to make her successful in her life.

I salute the women in my life by rededicating my commitment to support, respect and recognize the women in my life, who have tirelessly contributed to what I am today.

One sure shot way of living your commitment today could be to express your gratitude to the women in your life, who have made you what you are today.

What is your innovation for today ?

S Ramesh Shankar 

#women, #respect, #gratitude