Today is Father’s Day and the world celebrates the same. I do not believe in these marketing gimmicks to promote sales of products by companies. However, today I would like to share ten life lessons, I learnt from my father.

A. Patience : Patience in life can win over enemies as much as your friends and family. My father was a true embodiment of patience right through his life and I have learnt over the years to instil patience in my life.

B. Role modelling: As a father, he never gave advise to us on anything in life. Whatever he believed was good was by lived by him in real life. He was and he is my best role model in life till date.

C. Unconditional love : My father was not an emotional person. He did not believe in hugs and kisses. But his love was unconditional and more in action than in his words.

D. Lead by example : Even at the workplace, I have met his colleagues who adored him for his behaviour and actions. His friends always like him more for his actions since on any case he was a man of few words.

E. Silence : My father proved through his life and living that “Silence” is more powerful than his words. He hardly spoke and his silence was always admirable. He would make his presence felt by his silence than his words.

G. Giving unconditionally : My father completed his homeopathy post retirement from service and practised at home to serve the underprivileged with no fees. He never expected anything in return for his services in life from anyone.

H. Family first : His love and care for his family was to be seen to believed. Having lost his father early, he took care of his siblings, their education and marriage and did not expect anything in return from anyone.

I. Simplicity : My father lived a simple life. He was a central government employee but never lived beyond his means. He managed to build a house for his family with his own earnings and did not leave a single rupee as debt even after his death.

J. Fairness and equity: My father was always fair and equitable to all his children and siblings. He never differentiated between daughters and son or sister and brothers. No wonder he was admired by one and all – even friends and foes ( do no remember he had any ).

I wish I continue to imbibe some of my father’s noble qualities every day I live and continue to serve society and family, unconditionally.

S Ramesh Shankar

15th June 2025

I hear a lot of good things about people, when they die. I recently saw a movie, where a lady was suffering from a terminal illness and she arranged a funeral service for herself even before she died. When asked, why it was arranged, she said, she was keen to know good things about herself before she died.

I found this very insightful. I have always noticed people talking good about other people, after they die. When we attend a funeral or a prayer meeting after a person’s death, we suddenly realise how good the person was.

My question to everyone is – “Why do we not speak good about others, when they are alive ?” We find it difficult to appreciate our own family members or friends, leave alone people we work with or do not know. What prevents us from appreciating others, when we notice something good in them.

Imagine appreciating a bus conductor for her service or behaviour and the impact it can have on her future service. A young employee who is just starting her career in the organisation will be overwhelmed if we speak positively about something we observe ,during her first few days at work.

Generally ,mothers are more generous in appreciating their family members than other members. But imagine ,if talking good about each other ,becomes a culture in the family. It may be fine not to criticise someone, when something is not ok. But not to appreciate a good deed or a good act ,is surprising to me.

I remember ,my father never criticised my mother’s cooking at home. If the food was tasty, he would always appreciate it but if salt was missed, he will not even mention. This is a trait, which made my father adorable ,to all of us. Many of us specialise in critiquing others but fail to say good things, when people are around us.

We wait for someone to die ,to realise how good they were. Why does this phenomenon occur. I am not sure ,if it is a family trait or a societal curse. I am not even sure ,if our scriptures teach us ,not to appreciate people, when they are around. Everyone of us feel good, when we are appreciated in public and criticised in private. But in reality, we do it the other way around.

Is it possible for each of us today ,to start our life afresh. Let us plan and appreciate at least one person every day ,for a good trait we observe in them. It could be a family member, a colleague at work, a friend or even a security guard at work. It does not matter. All humans feel good in appreciation. Animals also love to be cared and appreciated. Then ,why not we practise amongst humans too and extend to all living beings ,in the future.

Let the journey of saying good things, when people are alive begin from today. Just call someone you like, appreciate what you like in them and make their day. It may work like magic. Try it to believe it.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Dec 2024