When you feel something is good, everything is good…


I am a born optimist and have always considered life as full of possibilities and opportunities. Interestingly I have noticed that if you think positive, then everything around you looks positive for you. On the other hand, if you crib for everything in life, nothing seems to work for you. I do not know if this has any scientific basis or not but I believe that life evolves for us the way we believe in it.

I can share many incidents in my life where I have been caught up in difficult situations but have always found a way out because I believed there is a way out. Life revolves around what you believe in. If you think it is good, everything around you looks good. On the other hand, if you believe life is a curse, nothing seems positive around you. One may call this your attitude to life and I believe it is true and it works for me.

My daughter finished her graduation in journalism and wanted to pursue her post graduation in mass communication. I was hoping that she will get admission to the best school of mass communication for the same. She not only got admission but did pursue her studies in the same school and came out with flying colours and further got a dream job from her campus placements.

I moved to Bangalore from Delhi after I changed my job. My son had passed out his tenth class and was to admitted to a new school for his further education. I tried many schools but I believed he will make it and get admission near my house. He not only got admission on merit in one of the best schools near my house but also passed out from that school and further pursued his graduation in business management as he had dreamt.

There have been days in my life at work, where I have felt bored and almost wanted to quit. But I did believe that something good is likely to happen to me and I have been nominated for a new project, which has been a turning point in my career. Every change in the trajectory of my career has happened because I believed in myself and also pursued my dreams through hard work and determination.

My wife has always been around to help someone in need. She will be the first person to offer her services to anyone in need. I have seen her rushing to my daughter for help or to my parents or my in laws. This helping attitude of hers ensures that we are never in trouble. In my entire career and life, I have never faced a situation, where I have felt lonely or not cared for. I believe this is because of the positive service attitude of my wife.

I have seen my eldest sister stay in multiple cities. She has always been blessed with good neighbourhood and good servants at home to help her. Of course, she is a noble human being and hence may be blessed with such benefits because of her goodness. But I also believe that she always thinks good about others and hence all people around her appear to be good.

It is this belief, which makes all the difference in our lives. If we believe something good will happen, it will happen. If we think people around us are good, they turn out to be good. If we are courteous and generous with others, everyone is helpful to you and so on. Life always gives you what you deserve. It also gives you back the way you look at life.

If you are willing to admire nature, then you get immersed in the lap of nature as in the photo above.

If we think positive, life is positive. Let us believe everything which happens around us is good, and it will turn out to be good.

Let us try it.

S Ramesh Shankar

Accepting defeat with grace…

We witnessed elections in the world’s largest democracy over the last two months. It was characterised by political debates, accusations, allegations and counter allegations as one can expect from such an event.

I admire the Election Commission of India for meticulously planning and organising a fair and largely peaceful election in a seamless manner. We were possibly the first country in the world to adopt electronic voting machines. We can be proud of this accomplishment, which many developed nations have not been able to adopt so far.

However, what we see as an aftermath of such a massive exercise is blame game. Political parities find faults with the election commission. They also blame the electronic voting machines for their losses. Today a political leader even went to the extent of blaming foreign forces for their defeat.

I am amazed at such reactions. One life lesson is to accept a “win” with humility and a “loss” with grace. After all the public at large comprises of citizens like you and me. We are well educated and make our judgement based on ground realities. We elect parties or leaders for their credence and not for any other reason.

We need to educate our political class to adapt to the technological changes impacting them. Today is it is electronic voting machines. Tomorrow it could be artificial intelligence or the blockchain, which may play a role in elections. What surprises me is that the so called educated politicians, who are professionally qualified like lawyers, management graduates, engineers, doctors etc are the first to criticise this way when they lose or their party faces defeat in the hustings.

My learning in life is to accept defeat with “grace” as much as treat victory with “humility”. This is what we can learn from all the best sportspersons in the world. A sportsperson glowing with arrogance after a victory fades into history. On the other hand, the humble sportsperson, who bows out with grace even in defeat is always the winner in our minds.

Politicians need to learn this lesson in life. We should not end up blaming our constitutional bodies and institutions for narrow political gains. After all, the citizens in modern India want better roads, clean drinking water, good health facilities and world class infrastructure. We want jobs for all who need it and health and happiness for the common man. We envision India as the best and the happiest country in the world.

It is time for political parities and politicians to rise above narrow archaic beliefs and work for the larger good of the nation. Let parliament work for 100% of the days, pass all needed legislations. Let the honest citizens be rewarded and the crooks in society be booked.

It is time for us to make India the best democracy in the world apart from being the largest. The government and the opposition needs to work hand in hand like the twin lilies in the photo above.

Let us learn to accept defeat with grace and victory with humility.

S Ramesh Shankar

26th May 2019

Life is full of “Choices”

IMG_5532

We all face ups and downs in life. We are happy about our decisions when things go well but feel disappointed when they things don’t go our way. This is natural. However, on reflection I feel that we always have choices in life and it is up to us to make a choice. Sometimes we may end up making a wrong choice and it ok to accept it as a reality. It is not fair to believe that there were no alternatives before us.

Let us recall any incident in life. I am reminded of the first car I bought in my career. It was a second hand car. In 1987, the company gave me a loan and I could not afford to buy a new car with that money and hence opted to buy a second hand car. This car I had bought after due consideration and review amongst the choices I had in front of me. Fortunately it turned out to be a good choice. I used the car for five years and sold it at a profit after that. Assuming it had been a bad choice, can I blame my employer to give me a limited loan or blame the seller for selling his car to me. I always had the option of buying a car or not buying a car. I could have bought a second hand or a new car. I could have bought some other brand too.

So, my learning in life is that in everything we do, we have choices. We always make our decision based on the best available information in front of us. Sometimes our choice may work out and at other times it may not. This does not mean we do not choices in life. We end up blaming the environment or at least try to externalise or blame the environment for the wrong choices we make. I think this is not fair. We have to own up the choices we make and take full responsibility for the choices we make.

I chose a junior in college and opted to marry her. After due consideration and with her unconditional consent, we decided to marry. Today it is 35 years since we are happily married. Today I can say it was the right choice since it has worked for me. Assuming it had not worked out for either of us, can we blame each other. Nobody forced us to marry. Neither our parents coerced us nor anyone else. We had a choice to marry or not to marry. How can we blame anyone for our decision to marry ?

I feel life is no different. We always have multiple choices in front of us. It is up to us to take our own time, evaluate all the options and then make the best choice in our best judgement at that point of time. We have take full responsibility for our choice and be willing face the consequences if it does not work for us. When it works, we are happy to own our decision and when it does not we want to blame someone else or the environment around us.

I recently met a college teacher who very nicely explained the concept of internal locus of control. He said in life we have to believe that everything is under our control and we are responsible for all our actions. In every situation, we have a choice to say yes or no. We also have a choice to say may be. We could decide then and there or take our time to decide. In every situation, we have to believe that our decision is ours. Everything is under our control and we can make things happen around us. This way life becomes a journey of possibilities. Otherwise, life appears as a road full of obstacles.

I also recently read a very nice suggestion. We all make a “To Do” list every day for our daily chores. Most of us end up either not beginning those tasks or finishing only half of them. It was suggested that instead of calling it the “To Do” list, if we call it “Possibilities” it changes the way we look at it. It infuses a positive energy and makes everything look possible. The chances of our accomplishing the majority of them looks brighter.

Even a diabetic has a choice to eat a tempting sapota/chiku or not. If he eats, he only needs to exercise a little more that day. Nothing more than that.

Let us believe that life is full of choices and we are in full control of it.

Let us begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar