Category: Spirituality/Personality

Believe before you pray

I was a very religious person from birth ,till I lost my parents in quick succession ,by the age of 25. I had just started my career and life was shattered, with the loss of my mother at 23 and father at 25.

I used to visit a temple every week and followed all rituals zealously ,till that tragedy engulfed me. I stopped going to a temple and all rituals I was following in the past.

I asked God – “Why me and what wrong did I do ?” I always had dreamt of taking care of my parents ,in their old age. I have achieved whatever little in my life and work ,only because of them. So, I thought the minimum I could do was to take care of them and they live with me for the rest of their lives, post retirement. But, this was never to be!

This incident broke my belief and I refused to pray. It took me almost two years ,to get back on the rails. I slowly treaded back to normalcy. I realised ,that there are some things in life in your control and many things , beyond your control. Birth and death, are two things determined by God. When and where we are born and when and where we will die, is pre-destined by God. We need to accept this ,as an unavoidable reality of life.

I did and then moved on ,in my life. I realised ,that I had done what I could ,as a dutiful son ,to take care of my parents. What happened to them ,was beyond my control and I could not prevent ,their premature death. But life goes on. I have a family to take care and I also had the opportunity ,to be be grateful to the people, who supported me in this difficult phase of my life, for the rest of my life.

I started focusing on my family and my career. My children did well in their education and my spouse supported me, unconditionally. My career took a positive trajectory and I could achieve, whatever little I had dreamt of ,in my career.

I moved from one city to another and everywhere ,my family supported me. My kids underwent the hardship of shifting schools and cities and never complained. My wife was always around ,to support me in all my decisions ,of life and career.

Today, if I look back, I started believing in my self. This belief made me realise that the super power beyond us ,decides for us ,on certain matters and we cannot control it. I believed ,before I started praying again.

Now, I define my religion as service to humanity. I did my job with utmost integrity, took care of my family to the best of my ability. I supported my friends, who enabled me during my crisis in life and even today am grateful to them for what they did for me. I can never repay their debt in monetary or non monetary ways. I can only pray that God give them good health and happiness always.

It is important first to believe and then to pray. If you do not believe, it is better not to pray. It is like a player believing in oneself ,before putting her best foot forward. If she does not believe in herself, she can never give her best.

So, let us believe, before we pray from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

20th Jan 2025

Ten life lessons from the “Kailash Manasarovar Yatra”

  1. The journey is as important as the destination: I had a dream of visiting Kailash Manasarovar for many years but it remained a dream for long. When I undertook this mission, I realised that the journey is as important as the destination. You can admire all aspects of nature as you tread along the mountains and rivers and when you reach Kailash, you realise that the road to the destination is as as beautiful as the destination itself.
  2. Physical fitness is not good enough to make it: I have been going for a walk every day for more than three and a half decades. I also practise yoga every day for more than a decade but this physical regimen was not good enough. You needed emotional and mental fitness to undertake this yatra. We met a few Everest climbers, who were gasping for breath and needed oxygen to survive in this yatra.
  3. Spritual calling is essential to make the trip: About three months back, I had contacted an agency in Bangalore and even on phone they rejected our candidature since my wife has a history of arthritis, bronchitis, cholestrol and BP. I did not want to undertake this yatra alone, leaving my life partner behind. But three months later, a family friend called and this time the tour organiser assured us that we can make it and I would call it a spiritual calling indeed. Today I have returned from the yatra to Kailash Manasarovar , along with my spouse.
  4. A confluence of body, mind and soul : The challenges of the yatra tests you physically, mentally and emotionally. I have never been admitted to a hospital in my life nor taken sick leave anytime in my career. But during the course of this yatra, I had high altitude sickness and was having diarrhoea/vomiting for three consecutive days and was drained out. I recovered from this illness just as we reached Manasarovar lake and was fit to undertake the yatra. A fit body supplemented with a focussed mind and a pure soul, possibly enables us to achieve this mission.
  5. We understand what a luxurious life we lead in our every day life, as we experience minimum comforts during the yatra: In life, we take most things for granted.-A good night’s sleep or clean toilets or a long journey by car. But, when you undertake this yatra, you trek, you take a horse, you walk through landslides and spend sleepless nights too. Sometimes you share rooms with many more people and have to also share washrooms. This is when you realise how lucky we are ,on a day to day living.
  6. Acclimatisation is the key to the yatra: We move from 3000 feet at Bangalore to 5000 feet at Kathmandu and gradually ,go up the hills , to reach a peak of about 16,600 feet. This climb is made gradually , so as to enable the body to acclimatise to the high altitudes. There is less oxygen in the air and the temperature keeps falling too. Our ability to adjust is the key to our success in life.
  7. Adaptability and flexibility keeps you ahead: We want everything in life ,our way. This yatra teaches you the basic lesson to adapt and be flexible to achieve your goal. You are not sure, when you start the yatra ,as to what is in store for you. It could be rain, sun or landslides along the way. Our intermittent stoppages may change and hotels booked ,may not be of use ,as we may be late or early. So, our ability to be flexible and adaptable makes us realise our mission.
  8. Change will be constant in life: The Kailash yatra teaches us this basic lesson that change is constant in life. Many things may not go as planned. Our flights may get cancelled, our route may get changed due to inclement weather, our immigration may be challenging experience ,spreading to hours of wait and so on. But as long as we are willing to embrace change as a way of life, we are sure of achieving our goal post.
  9. Focus on the mission – rest will follow: We need to be focussed in our goal in life. This yatra taught us that ,as long as we are clear and focussed in our goal and are willing to take on the challenges along the way, the mission could be accomplished. If we lose focus and give up along the way, we may return to the base camp, without accomplishing our goal.
  10. Gratitude to God and all elders is essential: Last but not the least, at every stage of the yatra, we need to be grateful to God and all elders ,for providing you all the basic essentials in life, in abundance. This yatra makes us realise that real happiness in life is the product of gratitude and contentment in life ,always.

Let the journey of self discovery continue for all of us ,forever.

S Ramesh Shankar

19th Sep 2025

Success never defines character

We may often assume that successful people have great character but may not be necessarily true always. There are many successful people in life, who may have achieved success in work, sports, cinema or other fields but may not be a role model for the next generation, in terms of their character. This is an important lesson in life that “Success does not define character in life”.

It is like the successful people may have achieved success in life by whatever means, but they may not have the character of a person, whom you may like to follow. We all know of many actors, sportspersons, business persons and corporate honchos, who have been successful in their respective fields but can never be a role model for the future generation.

It is important to remember ,that the real adorable people ,have a character ,much beyond their success. They are humble, grounded, always willing to give back more than they get from society and keen to share their knowledge and expertise ,with everyone around them.

I personally know of a father and daughter duo. Father was a civil servant and one of the most highly regarded and respected person. Even today , he is finding ways and means to give back to society. The daughter on the other hand is a highly qualified and successful Chief executive , of a multinational in the USA but is arrogant to the core and can never be a role model for the younger generation.

So, the simple lesson in life is that ,success never defines character. Our simplicity, honesty, integrity, behaviour and willingness to give back to society more than what we have benefited , defines our character. Successful people may not be remembered beyond their term or even their life but people with impeccable character live much beyond their life and are remembered for generations.

While all of us want to be successful in life, we need to remember that our character is , what defines us to society and not necessarily our success. I am not denying the fact the successful people may make an impact and make their presence felt ,through their success in whatever field they are in. But, others forget them sooner than later as success is not eternal, whilst character is.

If we recall our childhood, we always respected teachers, elders in the family or neighbours around us who treated us well and not necessarily the most successful people or the most qualified. Both education and success does not take us far ,unless character is embedded in us.

Let us focus on building our character more than making an impact as a successful person in whatever field ,we have chosen to excel. Success has to be embedded by the character, which the next generation will adore and not the other way around.

Let our character always precede our success in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th Jan 2025