Wilderness

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I sometimes wonder if it is good be structured and perfect in everything we do in life. Or is it it a great idea to be wild and crazy in life. The truth may lie somewhere in between these two extremes. In my early career and life I always believed that systems and processes can solve everything in life. This belief continued till I read a book that challenged all my assumptions in life and work.

This book made me realize that if we have the courage to break all the rules, we may not only survive but we may even be able to thrive. This turned my belief systems upside down. I started challenging my own mindset and started experimenting. This led to new pathways and new insights in my life and work. I was more flexible and open to newer ideas.

Life became more exciting. I did not give up my belief in systems or processes. However, I started believing that systems were not an end in themselves. They were only a means to an end. As long as one is able to make this distinction, systems and processes do play a role to improve your efficiency and effectiveness in life. If a system or a process does not serve a purpose, we should have the courage to challenge the same or even give it up without a second thought.

On the other hand, to explore wilderness without an end in mind might be a wild goose chase. We need to balance the creative and analytical part of our being. The left and right brain of ours have to find a mid way in dealing with issues. It may be a good idea to be structured in all our problem solving methods but willing to give up structure if the need arises and the problem never gets resolved with that system or process.

While structure provides direction, wilderness creates the space for creativity. I remember once leaving my home with my spouse for a holiday. Normally, we would plan everything from the place to stay, the route to take and even the stops on the way. This time we decided to leave home without a destination in mind. We drove the car through the city and decided to drive on to the highway which was empty that day.

We landed in a temple town around 300 kms from Bangalore, which we had not visited earlier. On reaching this place, we did not get any accommodation since it was a festival day. We could not even visit the main temple in that city. So, we took a diversion and tried to stay on some small motel on the highway. It was adventurous but fun. Then we visited another temple city, which is in the midst of a beautiful forest. This was one of the best drives in our lives so far.

So, structure may be desirable in most situations. But structure may be the barrier to solve some problems in our lives. We need to be flexible to adopt a structural approach or be willing to explore in wilderness. Either way a solution may not be guaranteed. However, our ability to be willing to experiment makes our chances of success better.

Life is journey. We may define our goals in life and pursue them. We may succeed at most times if we are willing to work hard and go about systematically. However, if there are some unforeseen events or stops on the way, let us not get bewildered. It’s fun to be deal with the wild and crazy part of our lives. We have to believe that we are not alone and many others would have faced such situations.

It may be fun to take the road in the forest, ( as in the photo above) sometimes even without knowing your ultimate destination.

Let us enjoy the wilderness.

S Ramesh Shankar

We see what we want to see…

Someone said – “Perception is reality” and I think it is true. I find it interesting that we all see what we want to see in our lives. I can sit on the sea shore and admire the sea for hours together with nobody around me. I love sunsets and can keep watching them every day. On the other hand, some others may find it boring to sit on the sea side or watch sunset every day. We may both be right. After all each of us have our own likes and dislikes.

Life is no different. We all see what we want to see. Some of us are born optimists and see possibilities whenever we are confronted with any problem. On the other, we may have some pessimists around us who may see only problems in the same situation. It is like the pessimist may not find the dark night summer sky interesting. But the optimist will admire the stars all around the sky.

I can recall many incidents in my life where I have enjoyed the uncertainty whereas some of my colleagues have fumed and fretted in the same scenario. I remember during a vacation we had not planned for our stay. We had not even decided where we will go. We just took out the car and decided that we will go where the road takes us and our heart says yes. In similar circumstances, I have seen many of my relatives and friends getting very upset.

Even within the precincts of the home, each of us see what we want to see. If kids are playing around and making a lot of noise, some of us are very upset. While others enjoy the energy and enthusiasm of the kids and play with them. While some perceive noise and disturbance, other perceived joy and energy in the same scene of energetic kids around you.

At work, the scenario is not very different. While challenges are opportunities for some, it saps energy of other employees. An interesting sight is in the area of sales. It is noteworthy that for some sales guys, month end and year end are fun as they can set new records and over exceed their targets. While for other sales guys, they have a nervous break down at the end of each month and always wish and pray to God so that month or the year never ends.

This is equally true on how we look at each other. As a leader some of us look at developing our colleagues an an opportunity while others see it as a waste of time or even a threat to their own existence. No wonder employees are keen to work with some managers and not with others. Even kids in school prefer some teachers and not others. This is because on the same issue one teacher always looks at the glass as half empty while the other teacher looks at it as half full.

My learning in life is that it is up to us to decide on how we want to look at life. If we look at life as full of possibilities, then life turns out that way. On the other hand, we think life is full of struggles and challenges than every day is a drag on ourselves. It is like some people say, we get what we deserve. In my view, we also get what we want to look for.

It is like in the photo above, the monsoon magic can mesmerise me every day. But for some others, it may be a dull boring day.

Life is a puzzle. But the ability to solve it or not to solve it is in our hands.

Lets enjoy the jig saw puzzle and solve it every day.

S Ramesh Shankar

27th Oct 2017

Life is full of “Choices”

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We all face ups and downs in life. We are happy about our decisions when things go well but feel disappointed when they things don’t go our way. This is natural. However, on reflection I feel that we always have choices in life and it is up to us to make a choice. Sometimes we may end up making a wrong choice and it ok to accept it as a reality. It is not fair to believe that there were no alternatives before us.

Let us recall any incident in life. I am reminded of the first car I bought in my career. It was a second hand car. In 1987, the company gave me a loan and I could not afford to buy a new car with that money and hence opted to buy a second hand car. This car I had bought after due consideration and review amongst the choices I had in front of me. Fortunately it turned out to be a good choice. I used the car for five years and sold it at a profit after that. Assuming it had been a bad choice, can I blame my employer to give me a limited loan or blame the seller for selling his car to me. I always had the option of buying a car or not buying a car. I could have bought a second hand or a new car. I could have bought some other brand too.

So, my learning in life is that in everything we do, we have choices. We always make our decision based on the best available information in front of us. Sometimes our choice may work out and at other times it may not. This does not mean we do not choices in life. We end up blaming the environment or at least try to externalise or blame the environment for the wrong choices we make. I think this is not fair. We have to own up the choices we make and take full responsibility for the choices we make.

I chose a junior in college and opted to marry her. After due consideration and with her unconditional consent, we decided to marry. Today it is 35 years since we are happily married. Today I can say it was the right choice since it has worked for me. Assuming it had not worked out for either of us, can we blame each other. Nobody forced us to marry. Neither our parents coerced us nor anyone else. We had a choice to marry or not to marry. How can we blame anyone for our decision to marry ?

I feel life is no different. We always have multiple choices in front of us. It is up to us to take our own time, evaluate all the options and then make the best choice in our best judgement at that point of time. We have take full responsibility for our choice and be willing face the consequences if it does not work for us. When it works, we are happy to own our decision and when it does not we want to blame someone else or the environment around us.

I recently met a college teacher who very nicely explained the concept of internal locus of control. He said in life we have to believe that everything is under our control and we are responsible for all our actions. In every situation, we have a choice to say yes or no. We also have a choice to say may be. We could decide then and there or take our time to decide. In every situation, we have to believe that our decision is ours. Everything is under our control and we can make things happen around us. This way life becomes a journey of possibilities. Otherwise, life appears as a road full of obstacles.

I also recently read a very nice suggestion. We all make a “To Do” list every day for our daily chores. Most of us end up either not beginning those tasks or finishing only half of them. It was suggested that instead of calling it the “To Do” list, if we call it “Possibilities” it changes the way we look at it. It infuses a positive energy and makes everything look possible. The chances of our accomplishing the majority of them looks brighter.

Even a diabetic has a choice to eat a tempting sapota/chiku or not. If he eats, he only needs to exercise a little more that day. Nothing more than that.

Let us believe that life is full of choices and we are in full control of it.

Let us begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar