Category: Life & Living

Surviving a crisis in life

There are some moments in life which drown you in a sea of grief. Losing a near and dear is irrevocable. It feels as if the sun has set in your life and will never rise again. You also feel as if the moon will not light the night sky. You feel lonely but want to be left alone. No words of comfort can console you. You have no tears to cry in your eyes

I have gone through such moments in my life. I lost my mother at 23 and my father at 25. It was in quick succession and I had just started my career at 22. Fortunately my sisters were married and settled and I had to only take care of my younger brother. But still the question, which haunts you at such moments is – “Why me “?

You have led an honest life. You have been good to everyone around you – family, friends and relatives. You loved your near and dear one the most and God has snatched him/her away from you. You not only wonder why but also wonder why only you. These are normal feelings and anyone facing this situation will go through. No words of consolation soothes you. You get no answers from God or anyone around you. It’s only time, which heals you and not the words, conversations or people around you at this time of grief.

Your world is lonely. The gush of the wind is not heard by you. The song of the birds do not lighten your somber mood. The sound of the waves in the sea reverberate your hurt feelings. You lose faith in yourself and in God. You may stop visiting temples, churches or mosques irrespective of whichever religion you follow.

It is only time, which may heal you. It is at this juncture, you need to believe in yourself. You need to be a supportive partner to your family. Together, you need to weather this storm. You need to take courage from poor people, who live in small hutments near the sea. They face the wrath of the rains every year. The thunderstorms blow away their houses, their belongings and sometimes even their near and dear ones. They may be fisherfolk and fishing is their only source of income. So , they come back to the sea to start their life afresh.

Our life may not be very different. We may face one crisis after another. We may lose faith in ourselves and in others. We may also lose belief in God. But as time heals our wounds, we need to limp back to stand up and live life all over again. We need to look for people around us, who may have lost much more than what we have. We need to seek blessings and express our gratitude to God – to bless us for all that we have and give us the courage to bounce back. During such crisis, we need to be thankful to the people around us, who stood like the boulders on the ocean front, which faces the wrath of the sea waves every year to protect us from damage and destruction.

We need to believe that the sun does rise next morning after every sunset. Even the moon resurfaces after a no moon day. We do get rewarded for our efforts. We have to be thankful that we did our best and sometimes a crisis in life is inevitable – may be not in our hands and it could be nature’s way of helping us keep our feet on the ground.

Our life ahead is an opportunity. We need to learn to bounce back. Let time heal your scars and I am sure you will find ways to bring joy to others. You may get an opportunity to take care of other people like your own. You could think of all the good memories with your near and dear one and all the joy he/she brought into your life. It is sweet memories of our lives, which keeps us going in good and bad times.

The clouds do settle down and the blue beautiful sky returns after some time. We need to wait patiently for the blue sky to return in our lives as in the photo above. There is nothing permanent in life.

Selfless service and gratitude to those who stood by your side during your crisis are useful ways to bounce back in life. Wish you all the best.

 

S Ramesh Shankar

4th Sep 2021

PS : Dedicated to everyone who has lost someone close to their heart in their lives.

 

 

 

  

Tiffin carriers

The tiffin carrier has been a symbol of many things over time. The basic purpose of a tiffin carrier may have been only to carry food for consumption when you are hungry during any time of the day as you prefer.

However, over a period of time the same tiffin carrier has symbolised different things to different people. The oldest known utilisation of the tiffin carrier was the media of communication between two people. It could have been an innocuous message from a mother to her child or a wife to her hubby.

It later transformed as a messenger service in the pre-digital age. Romantic lovers used the tiffin carrier as an innovative medium of communication, which was indirect and at the same time kept the novelty and inquisitiveness alive at all times. They were used to sending slips inserted in tiffin boxes to their beloved partner.This helped many young couples bond relationships while may have also split a few of them due to mis-communication in the process.

Nowadays tiffin carriers have become popular again and used extensively by food carrier apps and also food delivery services in metro cities for dual career couples. The purpose could be ensuring timely delivery of food apart from saving a lot of valuable time for the working couples, students and single men and women.

What amuses me most is the use of the tiffin carrier to carry food for your family members after you attend a marriage or ceremony in a friend or relative’s home. People nowadays tend to carry food for people back home after they have had a sumptuous meal in a ceremony they have been invited to.

I have nothing against having a grand meal. But it may be unfair to carry a tiffin carrier and carry food back home. This will unnecessarily add costs and inconvenience to the host. While it may still be fine to carry food for the elderly or differently abled back home, it may be better to do the same from a restaurant rather than from a party you are invited to.

Tiffin carriers are also used to send messages of errands. Parents request their children to buy some food, groceries or medicines for them. It could a be reminder to pay phone or utility bills. Thus the tiffin carrier may have been used for multiple purposes over time.

The most interesting story of tiffin carriers is that related to the “Dabbawallahs” ( tiffin carrying men) of Mumbai. This may have started many decades ago when hygienic food was not available in or near offices and factories. So, employees got tiffin from their homes and thus Dabbawallahs evolved this service.

In this service, Dabbawallahs carry tiffin from each home in a bag and code them using a color and keep them in trolleys. They are then hailed in bicycles to the nearest suburban station. It travels by trains to the nearest station of the office. Then gets re-distributed and again hailed in bicycles to the workplace of the employee. The return journey of the tiffin is similar.

These Dabbawallahs have provided a six sigma quality of service to their customers over decades. Their process is simple and there are practically no wrong deliveries. They could provide a living example to organisations of today and beat the artificial intelligence and robotics of tomorrow.

Long live the Tiffin Carrier.

S Ramesh Shankar

12th September 2018

Life in a digital world

Our life has transformed as we transition from an analog to a digital world. We are connected 24 x 7 through technology. Apart from connected devices, cloud computing and artificial intelligence, our world seems digitised in more ways than one.

We get up with an alarm from an AI digital assistant and end the day listening to music on an app. The time in between getting up and sleep is digitally controlled. We look at the news app more than the newspaper for our news update. We book a cab using a hailing app rather than the traditional black and yellow cab at the taxi stand.

Our breakfast may be pre-cooked in the microwave using a pre-programmed instruction through AI. Then as we proceed to work in a cab, we clear our pending emails on the mobile. Our connected watch may remind us of the appointments in the calendar.

As we enter office, the digital board at the entrance reminds us of the key happenings at work. Then the laptop or tablet is the enabler at work for emails, conferences and scheduling the day.

We use our mobile again to book a quick lunch through a food hailing app as we have no time to have a sumptuous lunch at the canteen chatting with colleagues at work. The day zips past as if it is less than 9 hours at work. We are busy interacting only with our mobile phone and laptop and do not have the time even to wish our colleagues at work.

Our workplace has transformed due to the impact of digitalisation. The business planning cycles have shrunk from years to months and now weeks. The workplace has transformed into spending more time with laptops and machines rather than people around us.

The business models are getting disrupted. Technology like artificial intelligence, data analytics, cloud computing etc are changing the way we think and respond to our customers. The response times have dramatically changed and the so has our definition of competition.

Which is our market ? Who are our customers ? Who are our competitors ? Every thing is changing. The speed of change is faster than the change itself. What we think as impossible today becomes a reality tomorrow. Our customers and competitors are getting redefined in every way.

Then as we return home in the evening, we are busy on social media to wish friends and relatives for their birthdays, anniversaries and promotions. We neither have the information in our memory nor the time to wish anyone in person. Sometimes we end up wishing our own family members only on social media although we may stay together at home.

We then reach home and are busy on our mobile or tablet to look at movies, sitcoms or games to relieve ourselves of all the stress and strain of the day. We are oblivious of all our family members around us at home and do not have time or the energy to even talk to them or listen to their stories.

Life seems hectic in every way possible. We seem to be racing against time always. Technology seems to make us lonely and less emotional in all our relationships. We do not seem to know our neighbours at home nor our colleagues at work except by email ids and social media identities.

How can organisations help individuals cope with such a stressful life ? Helping employees balance life and work is possible in many ways . Some of initiatives at organisational level in this direction have been :

– 24 x 7 free counselling services for employees and their family members

– Healthy break ( exercise for 3 minutes) twice a day at work

– Programmes like “Fit for life” & Enrich your life” for different employee segments

– Health and wellness interventions at the workplace

– Flexibility of working hours and work from home policy

– Sabbatical & Volunteering leave

I sometimes wonder whether such a life is worth it. I am not sure. If I look back at my own life, I had all the time in the world in the past. I was never in a hurry at home or at work. I always remembered the telephone numbers of all my family members and friends in my brain memory. I never forgot to wish friends, family or colleagues at work on their birthdays or anniversaries.

Today I wonder if technology has enabled me or disabled me to be a good human being. May be it is unfair for me to blame technology for my current state. I may be more to blame than the digital technology around me. Instead of managing technology to my benefit, I have allowed technology to rule my life.

It is time to challenge ourselves. Digital technology has been invented to make our life better and more comfortable. It is up to us to use technology effectively. Let us learn to attach and detach from technology as we think it is appropriate. Let us not end up in a health centre for digital detoxification.

Th GPS in the car is very useful to guide you to your destination as in the photo above. It can take you to any place on earth without any knowledge of the route.

Time to digitally attach or detach is now.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th October 2018