I have always wondered – “What makes people happy ?”. After a lot of thought and reflection, I have evolved a simple hypothesis to be happy in life. Many of us spend our life time living everyday by comparing ourselves with people around us. It even starts in our childhood. Our parents tend to compare us with other children in academics and other activities and thereby rate our performance. Our teachers do the same and hence our society judges us by comparison only.

We grow up that way and tend to live life by comparison. We start with our student days and look at how have we done vis a vis our siblings or friends or relatives. We then worry why our career is slower than our friends and relatives. We lose our sleep if our neighbour gets a new car and we cannot afford one.

Life goes on this way. At work, life is no different. Our performance is assessed in relation to our peers. Even performance management systems are designed to assess performance in relative terms. So we end up as a point of reference in a bell curve. Some doing better than us and some worse.

In my view, the foundation of unhappiness is our living by comparisons. The day we realise that if we live in an “Absolute” way without comparing ourselves with anyone around us, life would be fun and we would discover the formula for joy. This may not be easy as it is ingrained in all of us to live in “relativity”. It starts with family, friends, relatives and society at large. Even countries do not prosper because they live and die with comparisons.

Let us look at why Bhutan is the happiest country in the world although they may not be the wealthiest. This is because the rulers as well the countrymen live in “absolute” terms. The people of Bhutan consider happiness as the means to the end as well the end in itself. They do not compare their GDP or wealth or development with other countries in any other way.

So, it is time for us to sit back and think about it. If we start living for ourselves and our happiness we will not worry about what others do or have. We will be happy with what we have and not die for what others have and we don’t. We need to be content with what we have. This does not mean we should not aspire for higher things in life. Of course we should but not because others have it but because we can work towards achieving it for ourselves.

Every parent should look at the innate talent of each child and let her or him prosper, grow and realise their potential. Every manager should look at each employee as a talent and provide the necessary environment for him or her to grow based on their potential and not their performance in relation to other colleagues.

I am convinced that if I live life on my own terms, there will be less and less reasons to be unhappy. I have tried to be content with what I have right from the day I started my career. With the active support of my partner and my kids, I have been happy most of the time in life. So, this hypothesis is not based on any management theory but personal belief and practise.

We can best learn from children of how to enjoy life in absolute rather than suffer in relativity by comparisons, as in the photo above.

You have a right to have a alternate opinion and I have a right to differ with you.

Let us exchange our views on this issue so that together we make everyone happier every day.

Together we can.

S Ramesh Shankar

10th August 2019

We sometimes fantasise that life is all about ourselves as an individual. This is truly a fantasy. The earlier we realise , the better it may be for our lives. Let us start from our personal lives including our family, friends and society.

Imagine how life would be without being part of a family. We may be born alone when we arrive at earth but there can be no life without being a member of a family and a community. It is rightly said that man is a social animal. We cannot imagine leading life all alone. We need siblings and friends all the time to enrich our lives.

This is the reality of life from childhood to senescence. Imagine a child growing up all alone with nobody around to play with. Imagine a youth without friends around her. Can we imagine a senior citizen living all alone at home and staring at the four walls ? Life would not only be boring but may be difficult to live through.

We need support from everyone around us in our family and social circle to grow up and succeed. We need guidance and direction from more experienced people than us. We need recognition and support when we slip along the way. We need someone to lift us up when our morale is at an all time low.

The situation is no different when we are at work. Some employees dream that the organisation exists only because of them. This is again a dream till they realise that they exist, learn and grow only because of the organisation. Organisation again is a social enterprise. It is not the building or the machines, which makes an organisation. It is the people working in them. No individual can succeed without enabling peers at work, a motivating manager and supportive customers and suppliers.

Even the best performing employees realise that they can never be successful without their team. How can one imagine of doing everything alone in life ? It is neither practical nor possible. The earlier we realise this reality in our career, the more successful we are likely to be.

Let us examine a football team. Even the best player in the world cannot score a goal unless he is supported by other forwards in the team. We see this in action. Many outstanding players lose out in the long run because in spite of great talent they fail to realise the value of team work.

Sometimes by looking at the mirror as in the photo above, we tend to believe that that life is all about ourselves till we come out and see the world.

Life is no different. As we have seen whether in the family, work, community or society, our success lies in our ability to grow beyond our individualism. We need to realise this early and learn the art of working in teams. It is the give and take in life, which will make us successful.

We need to realise that no individual is larger than the team she represents. If individuals excel in team work, they may be more successful than others. So, life is all about working in groups and enabling each other to succeed.

Let’s transcend from individual to team thinking today.

S Ramesh Shankar

16th November 2018

What goes around, come around is a common saying. In my view, this is equally true in life. We have to remember that what we give to others, we get back in some form. If we share love and happiness, we get the same. If we spread hatred, it may come back to us in some form.

It is equally true in money and material things. If we are willing to share our material wealth with others in whatever little ways we can, we are blessed with more wealth. If we are able to help a friend, colleague or relative in distress, God helps you in more ways than one when you are in trouble.

I have seen this and experienced this in multiple ways in my life. Let me illustrate with a few examples. Whenever I have tried to help someone in distress in cash or kind, God has always returned me with caring support when I have been in despair.

I have also noticed that whenever I have faced a cash crunch, I have got some unexpected surprise inflows, which I did not think of at all. I feel this is because I may have done some good to someone without expecting anything in return when they were in trouble.

It is equally true for sharing our knowledge and skills. The more we share with others, the more we get from others in terms of their knowledge and skills and thus helping us grow everyday.

We could easily learn some good lessons on giving from a pet dog. You nurture and care for a dog and she will give her life for you. I had a Labrador at home. She was so caring that she will not eat anything unless my wife had finished her lunch or dinner. As humans, we can ape these noble qualities even from animals around us.

So, it is worthwhile to believe that in life, we get what we give to others. It could be in cash, kind or feelings. It may neither be directly correlated nor scientifically established by any logic. We have to believe in this destiny of life and it will hold true for us. There are some things in life which we have to do without any logic or reasoning and this is one of those actions.

If you do not believe in this theory, that may also be fine. It is your truth and cannot be equated to anyone else’s truth. You may have experienced life otherwise and that is your reality. However, it is worthwhile to challenge ourselves and our belief with the backing of others sometimes and it may work miracles.

I have been challenged by some younger people in my family and work teams who believe that this theory may not be valid today. Even in a sports field they believe that this is not true. I have an alternate view and still hold on to it. In my view even a sportsperson who is well behaved on the ground is respected more than others. You get back the same respect you give to others in life or on the sports field.

As in the picture above, you give milk to a stray cat which is hungry and someone may feed you some day when you are hungry.

Each of us have a right to hold our own view. I just want to share my experience in life and urge you to experiment and make your own judgement. I still believe we get back what we give to others in life.

Let us give and try.

S Ramesh Shankar

20th December 2018