Category: Life & Living

Who are our real inheritors in life ?

The other day, I was watching a TV quiz show, wherein the anchor, one of the leading actors in India shared a quote from his father’s poetry. His father was one of the leading poets of India. It read something like this in Hindi – “ Mere Bete, Bete hone se, mere uttaradhikhari nahin honge, jo mere uttaradhikari honge, woh mere bete honge”. If roughly translated, it means – “My sons, being my sons, will not be my inheritors, those who will be inheritors will be my sons”.

This was very insightful and it is applicable, both in personal and professional lives. Let us first understand this deep thought from an organisational perspective. My true successor may not be the senior most person in my team. The real successor will be the most competent member to take over from me.

Even in a sports team, we have seen it, multiple times. The most experienced player may not succeed the captain, but the successor to the captain is the best player to succeed.

Life is no different. I was surprised to learn recently that the Pandya dynasty kings had this thought in their kingdom. The eldest son need not be the successor of the king, if the king finds someone other son, daughter, nephew or niece, more competent to succeed him. The successor declared by the king is the true inheritor of the king. Imagine a poet in the early 20th century having a similar insight.

What we need to learn from this insight is that we do not succeed anyone by being the senior most in a team or being the eldest in the family. We succeed someone, because we are the most competent member in the team or the family.

Succession has to be earned by our competence and cannot be determined by our seniority or gender. In life and work, we tend to assume many things erroneously. We need to understand everything in the right perspective.

Even as per law of inheritance in India, we do not inherit anything from our parents, if it is a self acquired wealth. Similarly, even in organisations , succession planning does not necessarily follow the seniority principle. Rather, sometimes, successors could even be from outside the organisation.

Even in sports, the most competent leader succeeds the captain and not necessarily the senior most player in the team. Seniority and experience is important but does not give us a birth right to succession.

We need to earn our right to succeed by our competence and character. It does not come by seniority, gender or experience. This is indeed a great insight for us in life and work.

Let us earn our rights from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th Jan 2025

Life is like a party

Someone sent me a nice quote, which read that “Life is like a party” – some will come early, some later, some will enjoy while others will crib. Some will leave early while some others will leave late. Only a few will stay back after the party is over ,to clean up the place ,along with you.

So, you know, who your true friends are. Some come for maintaining their status, others come in to make their presence felt. Some consider it a formality while some others want to enjoy every moment of the party. But, when the party is over and it is time to clean up the place, very few will stay behind for that ,with you.

Life is no different. We meet all kinds of people, all along our way in life. Of course our family members join us early in this journey and generally stay back till the end. Friends may come and go as they deem fit but true friends will stay with you ,till the end of your journey.

We need to develop the ability to understand different types of people, whom we meet along the life journey. Some join us with a purpose and as soon as their purpose is fulfilled, will leave and go. Some others want to be with us ,for our wealth or comforts. They may be the first to leave if we get into any financial trouble or any other issue, which may impact their comforts.

True friends and relatives stay with you all through your thick and thin in life. The beauty of these friends is that are unconditional and never expect anything from you. They love you unconditionally and care for you always. Today I got a call from a friend of over four decades, who belongs to this category. We started our career together and treaded different routes ,to achieve our career goals. Both of us achieved what we could, in our respective careers. However, neither our position nor social status ever determined the quality of our friendship.

The quality of true relationships goes beyond money, time and status in society. We care for each other as honest human beings and enjoy each other’s company always. We do not use each other but are there for each other ,without even being sought for. A true friend may not call you or visit you for months or years but will always be around, whenever you need their support. They are just a call away, always.

So, life is indeed like a party ,we host at home. We may invite a wide variety of people. Some we enjoy, others enjoy at our expense. Some like us and others may not. But the true friends will be there with no invitation or no purpose beyond their care for you. They will be around from the beginning of the party till the end and clean up the place along with you and then leave.

We need to develop the ability to understand the different kinds of people. While we may not have a choice always to choose whom we would like to invite for the party, we can always learn to differentiate the rice from the husk. True friends are loving, caring and compassionate. They are with you during good and bad times.

Let us learn to enjoy the party of life with all kinds of people around us.

S Ramesh Shankar

10th Jan 2025

Ten life lessons from the “Kailash Manasarovar Yatra”

  1. The journey is as important as the destination: I had a dream of visiting Kailash Manasarovar for many years but it remained a dream for long. When I undertook this mission, I realised that the journey is as important as the destination. You can admire all aspects of nature as you tread along the mountains and rivers and when you reach Kailash, you realise that the road to the destination is as as beautiful as the destination itself.
  2. Physical fitness is not good enough to make it: I have been going for a walk every day for more than three and a half decades. I also practise yoga every day for more than a decade but this physical regimen was not good enough. You needed emotional and mental fitness to undertake this yatra. We met a few Everest climbers, who were gasping for breath and needed oxygen to survive in this yatra.
  3. Spritual calling is essential to make the trip: About three months back, I had contacted an agency in Bangalore and even on phone they rejected our candidature since my wife has a history of arthritis, bronchitis, cholestrol and BP. I did not want to undertake this yatra alone, leaving my life partner behind. But three months later, a family friend called and this time the tour organiser assured us that we can make it and I would call it a spiritual calling indeed. Today I have returned from the yatra to Kailash Manasarovar , along with my spouse.
  4. A confluence of body, mind and soul : The challenges of the yatra tests you physically, mentally and emotionally. I have never been admitted to a hospital in my life nor taken sick leave anytime in my career. But during the course of this yatra, I had high altitude sickness and was having diarrhoea/vomiting for three consecutive days and was drained out. I recovered from this illness just as we reached Manasarovar lake and was fit to undertake the yatra. A fit body supplemented with a focussed mind and a pure soul, possibly enables us to achieve this mission.
  5. We understand what a luxurious life we lead in our every day life, as we experience minimum comforts during the yatra: In life, we take most things for granted.-A good night’s sleep or clean toilets or a long journey by car. But, when you undertake this yatra, you trek, you take a horse, you walk through landslides and spend sleepless nights too. Sometimes you share rooms with many more people and have to also share washrooms. This is when you realise how lucky we are ,on a day to day living.
  6. Acclimatisation is the key to the yatra: We move from 3000 feet at Bangalore to 5000 feet at Kathmandu and gradually ,go up the hills , to reach a peak of about 16,600 feet. This climb is made gradually , so as to enable the body to acclimatise to the high altitudes. There is less oxygen in the air and the temperature keeps falling too. Our ability to adjust is the key to our success in life.
  7. Adaptability and flexibility keeps you ahead: We want everything in life ,our way. This yatra teaches you the basic lesson to adapt and be flexible to achieve your goal. You are not sure, when you start the yatra ,as to what is in store for you. It could be rain, sun or landslides along the way. Our intermittent stoppages may change and hotels booked ,may not be of use ,as we may be late or early. So, our ability to be flexible and adaptable makes us realise our mission.
  8. Change will be constant in life: The Kailash yatra teaches us this basic lesson that change is constant in life. Many things may not go as planned. Our flights may get cancelled, our route may get changed due to inclement weather, our immigration may be challenging experience ,spreading to hours of wait and so on. But as long as we are willing to embrace change as a way of life, we are sure of achieving our goal post.
  9. Focus on the mission – rest will follow: We need to be focussed in our goal in life. This yatra taught us that ,as long as we are clear and focussed in our goal and are willing to take on the challenges along the way, the mission could be accomplished. If we lose focus and give up along the way, we may return to the base camp, without accomplishing our goal.
  10. Gratitude to God and all elders is essential: Last but not the least, at every stage of the yatra, we need to be grateful to God and all elders ,for providing you all the basic essentials in life, in abundance. This yatra makes us realise that real happiness in life is the product of gratitude and contentment in life ,always.

Let the journey of self discovery continue for all of us ,forever.

S Ramesh Shankar

19th Sep 2025