The quest for happiness in life is an unending journey for most of us. We tend to spend our lifetime trying to understand “What makes us happy in life?”. Some of us may end up searching for this answer to our own graveyards.

I neither have an an answer for everyone nor do I think there can be an universal answer to one of life’s most important questions. However, one of the things which may give happiness to almost everyone is becoming happy by making others happy.

Someone asked me if I am hungry, how can I feed others ? Yes, it is true that with an empty stomach, one may not be able to feed others. However, by sharing our food with others we may have our stomach half full but may be in a position to make someone happy. It is this attitude, which may make all the difference ,to our lives.

I have learnt after many struggles in my life that “happiness is not dependant on material wealth in life. Happiness is an attitude to life. We see in our everyday life that poor people who may not be sure of their next meal are happier than the wealthy businessmen who are struggling to save income tax by juggling financial accounts.

The poor tend to keep reasonably good health and have a good night’s sleep while many of the rich suffer from lifestyle diseases and spend more on hospitals and medicines than on their family and happiness. This leads us to the second secret of happiness and that is good health.

If we maintain good health through healthy habits of exercise and proper diet, we may lead a happier life than others. If we can help others become healthier through our company and our support, we may become happier than we are today. So, happiness could also be by making others ,healthier in life.

The third aspect of happiness could be contentment. Are we satisfied with what we have ? While there may not be anything wrong to be ambitious in life but to live in a state of discontent ,could lead to unhappiness always. If we compare ourselves to people who are less fortunate than us, we may be content. But our tendency is to compare with people who have more than us. The secret to happiness is not to compare at all. Life in absolute ,is always happier than in relativity.

The secret to happiness is our ability to make others happy. If we can share with others what we have, God may give us more than what we deserve. If we make others healthier, we may improve our own health and thus become happier. If we are happy with what we have, then happiness can never escape us.

Last but not the least is our ability to spread happiness. Do we make people happy or not ,when we are around ,is a good question to ask? If our presence makes others happy, happiness will always knock on our doors ,before it visits our neighbours.

Let us learn to be happy by spreading happiness in others lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd January 2023

 

There are many things in life which go with the wind and we do not even realise it. I wanted to share a few of my personal experiences and wanted to check if it is true for you too.

The first experience I have is that of lending books to family or friends. People are very excited to borrow a book they like as they want to read it . You do not mind lending the same since sharing knowledge adds to yours. But the beauty of many of these books is that it never returns to your book shelf. They take it, may or may not read it but mostly forget to return it.

One common experience is with pens. People forget to get their pens and borrow it from others when they need them. However, they never remember to return after they use them. I have lost a few expensive pens in this process. Nowadays I use only throw away pens so that you don’t feel bad when not returned.

The next experience is with clothes. As your kids grow up and start wearing your clothes, you feel good that your clothes have started fitting them. My son generally ventures into my wardrobe to see which T shirt is new and loves to wear them. However, some of these clothes taken by friends or relatives never return to our wardrobe.  

My wife is to embroider/knit special clothes for children. Then she used to share with relatives or friends to be used for their children as our kids have grown up. While giving she would specifically state that it was a unique piece of garment she had embroidered and wanted it to be returned after use But it never returns and people forget about it.

This experience may even extend to gadgets. I remember once I lent my infra red heating lamp to a friend who was in severe back pain. She recovered and was very grateful for the help. However, even after a few reminders she did not return the same.

It could extend to things in the kitchen. You want to share some food with your neighbours and send it to them in tiffin boxes. The food is consumed and appreciated as well but the tiffin boxes never returns.

It may be our possessive nature and our emotional connect to material things which makes us feel bad to lose them. But more than that one feels that on the one hand you lent a helping hand to someone in need and in return you lose your possession.

I used to feel quite upset at such incidents in the past. I then glanced through an old quote , which read – “ If you love something set it free, if it belongs to you, it will come back, if it does not, it never was…”. It is then I realised that one has to consider that your possession was possibly never yours in the first place. Alternatively, the other person needs it more than you.

While this may be easy to write about, it is a difficult emotion to go through. The first time you lose a book you love, you almost decide to never lend books again. Same may be true for other things. But as you grow and mature, you are willing to let go of your possessions although reluctantly.

As we can see in the photo above, we take time to realise that the value of the pen we lose may be less than the relationship we may lose in the process.

I sometimes wonder why people do not return things they took from you in time. I assume they have no ill intentions. It either could be forgetfulness or their attitude to life. I did realise that I would get impacted by such incidences only when I get too attached. If I let go, may be this will easier to overcome.

Time to “let go” in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

I was attending a coaching conclave and one of the panelist’s who is an expert on predicting the future talked about “ Re-humanising the workforce” as the fifth industrial revolution. It kindled my conscience and I thought I could share what organisations can do in the future to bring back “humanness at the workplace”.

Although I am not an expert on predicting the next industrial revolution or in generally predicting the future, I still believe that we could take the following actions to bring back “humanness” in organisations.

1. Focus on the individual : Today employees are not treated like human beings who are unique and talented in their own way. Most employees are considered a cog in the wheel and treated like commodities. They are further branded as bad, good or great and then their treatment in the organisation is linked to the type of categorisation. Organisations can bring back focus on every individual as a resource and build the organisation processes around her or him.

2. Family as a social institution : Organisations no longer value family as a social institution. The employee is considered as a unit of purchase to meet the goals of the organisation. Her/his value is determined by the market and is negotiable. An employee is no longer valued as a member of a family, which is part of the larger community around the organisation. Organisations need to connect with families and communities and involve them in development of the individual.

3. Equity & fairness : The principle of equity and fairness is no longer considered an essential norm in organisations. We tend to treat employees as units of consumption and individually negotiable in the market place. The need to be fair and equitable and perceived to be that way, is no longer valued by organisations. It is high time equity and fairness is not only a value within organisations but permeates across the society at large. This will reduce social tensions and crimes in society.

4. Team work : The focus on individual talent and the need to retain her or him has gone to the extent that team work is not considered an important glue in organisations. It is increasingly believed that excellent individuals can take care of lack of teams by bringing value to organisations. Organisations have to believe that team work is critical for organisational success in the market place. The best individual is as good as the team she or he works with. No individual is bigger or better than the team.

5. Purpose : Organisations no longer have a compelling purpose which is beyond product, service and profits and impacting the society at large. This results in employees’ inability to identify with the purpose and thereby employees leave organisations when their purpose in life does not match with organisational goals. It is high time , organisations rise beyond narrow boundaries of profit and work for societal well being.

6. Community connect : The fact that organisations exist to add value to communities around them is no longer valued. With increasing globalisation, the connect with communities around organisations is almost defunct. Today corporate social responsibility is more of a statutory obligation rather than a sacred duty of organisations. It may be time for organisations to remember that their growth and success in the market place is linked to the prosperity of the communities around them.

7. Valuation vs Value creation : Today most organisations are keen on working towards valuation of their brand and shares. They seem to look short term and not necessarily keen on value creation. Value creation could mean adding value to all stakeholders like employees, shareholders, customers, suppliers, communities around them and the government at large. It is time to wake up and realise this responsibility.

8. Technology & human connections: I am a great fan of technology and have always tried to use all forms of technology including social media to connect with employees and other stakeholders. However, today technology has made relationships impersonal. We do not know the birthday of our own team members and do not wish them in person. We are not aware of our neighbours and think that technology can bridge this gap. Organisations need to promote human interconnectedness through human relations and not only be dependant on technology.

9. AI & emotions : While artificial intelligence and machine learning may be able to do most of the jobs which humans are doing today, they may never be able to express emotions like humans do. We need to keep in mind that human beings are born emotional and hence organisations need to be more sensitive to human emotions in the future than they have been in the past.

10 Employee wellness & health : The focus on employee wellness much beyond employee health and safety is going to be critical for organisations in the future. We need to care for physical, social and mental health of employees. WHO has said “wellness is optimum state of health of individuals and groups and positive approach to living”. The pandemic has made organisations realise the importance of wellness. It is critical for organisations to proactively promote wellness in the future.

It is time for organisations to bring back humanness in all their dealings. They need to realise that employees like suppliers, customers, shareholders and governments are partners to their progress. If they do not deal with them with humane approach, their extinction will be sooner than later. However organisations which are humane will continue to thrive and grow in the future.

S Ramesh Shankar

29th August 2022