Category: Emotions/Relationships

Violence in society

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Not a day passes today without a report of violence in some part of the world. Our newspapers, magazines and TV channels are brimming with headlines of violent incidents around the world. Why cannot we have peace around the world ? Why do we have rapists torturing innocent children ? Whey do we have school children wielding guns and killing innocent people ? Why do terrorists attack innocent citizens ?

Every violent incident is reported in newspaper headlines and debated on TV channes to give sadistic pleasure to some people. I am trying to understand the root cause of this behaviour in society. I cannot believe any religion in the world propagates or supports violence. I am not well read on religions of the world,not even of Hinduism to which I belong. But my limited knowledge teaches me that no religion teaches us to practise violence in any form.

After deep reflection, I have come to the conclusion that our family, education system and societal and political values are responsible for today’s tragic state of affairs. Let me try to delve on each of these three root causes and find answers of how each of us can contribute to change this situation for our future generations.

Let us first reflect on our family system. Family is the basic unit of society. Today the foundations of family as a social institution is threatened. This is true around the world. While we may justify our moving from joint families to nuclear families due to career aspirations or individual ambitions, this has led to breaking of family as an institution. The elders in the family played the role of mentor and guide for the younger members. Today we do not have mentors or guides within the family system. The inculcation of family values is fading in society.

If we move to schools, our education system is becoming more commercial than educational. The sole objective of most of the schools and colleges is to make money. They are less concerned about producing the future citizens of their country. Educational institutions have failed to maintain standards and inculcate values in their students. If at all students learn that earning money and that too at any cost is one of the prime objectives of individuals in society. Educational institutions need to partner with parents and society to inculcate the right values in the younger generations.

Political parties and social groups are perpetuating violence in some form or the other. While in power they do everything to suit their convenience at the cost of society. When out of power they obstruct the working of the government and support violence in every form so that government in power earns a bad name. This is further accentuated by the apathy of the citizens. We are willing to accept the violence and crime against innocent citizens by the rogues of society. These rogues do not have any religion or nationality. They are criminals and have no place in society. They continue to thrive because of political support from all shades of society. We cannot even call them animals as that would be an insult to animals. Animals are more faithful to humans than such unscrupulous elements in society.

While fire may symbolise violence in society, we need to find ways to put off the fire by our actions and use it only for prayers and peaceful purposes as in the photo above.

What can we do as citizens ? In my view, we can play the role of mentors to our children and younger members of our family to inculcate the right values. We can promote and support educational institution which produce great citizens for the future and boycott those which commercialise education. We can boycott politicians and political parities which supports rapists, murderers and corruption in public life. This can be done by our participating in every election and voting for honest citizen to be our representatives in legislatures and parliament. Every political party has honest members and we need to support and promote them.

It is time to wake up and take charge ? My 3 simple steps are just nascent ideas. What do you think ? What are your ideas ?

S Ramesh Shankar

Partnerships

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In my book, partnership is when two individuals or entities work together towards a common goal.  In real life you look at partnership with friends, family or your spouse.  The relationship is unconditional and the expectation of support is mutual.  The summation of two is more than the simple addition of  individuals.  Partnerships ensure that we complement and supplement each other in all our efforts.

Now if we look at partnerships at an entity level, it is the symbiosis of two organisations to leverage on each other strengths.  It could be with a business goal or even with a social objective.  Partnerships ensure that the entities are able to enable each other to succeed.  History is evidence to successful partnerships between companies in the corporate sector and other sectors.

In today’s world, we also see partnerships between two countries.  It could be technological partnership, social  or any other field of common interest.  When multiple countries join hands it may end up as multilateral colloboration among those countries.  The success of partnership depends on mutual respect for each other’s strength and ability to give as much as your receive.

Interestingly, partnerships at individual, company level or country level are based on similar principles.  The first principle of partnership is the choice of the partner.  If you have to fully thrive on the benefits of a partnership, you have to choose the right partner for setting up for success.  A simple example could be the choice of your partner in a team sport like tennis.  If you choose a partner who complements your strengths and manages your weakenesses, then you are sure to succeed.

The second principle of partnership is mutual trust.  No partnership in the world can succeed unless they trust each other unconditionally.  After you have selected your partner, you need to ensure that your trust unconditionally.  The moment one of the partners seeds mistrust, the partnership is doomed to fail.  History is witness to successful and failed partnerships in the corporate sector.  If we examine the reasons for success or failiure, trust would be a defining factor in all such cases.

The third principle of a great partnership is giving your best and enabling the other partner to succeed.  This is true at individual, organisational or country level.  The best of partnerships thrive when they give their best and enable each other to succeed.  We can examine this character in all successful partnerships.  We will find that the more you give, the more likely you will reap the benefit of the partnership.

Thus, partnerships thrive on choice, trust and giving.  It is equally true at individual, organisational or country level.  It may be worthwhile to mention that none of us as individuals can succeed in society without establishing partnerships.  If married, you thrive only when you are able to complement your spouse to succeed.  It is equally true in companies and nations.

It is time to partner .

S Ramesh Shankar

Taking for granted ?


Do we take people for granted ?  I assume we do.  It starts from the family and then extends to society and organisations too.  Let us start from the family. Do we take our parents for granted ?  Yes we do.  We almost assume that they are duty bound to take care of us and our needs for the rest of our lives.  We are not much bothered about them but if they do not support us when we need them we feel betrayed.  

The story is not very different with our spouses.  Whether we both are working spouses or not, it is a fact that we take each other for granted.  Let us assume that our spouse is not working in an organisation but a home maker.  We almost imagine that they do not have much work and no tensions at home.  If we  get what we want at home on time, we assume that it is their responsibility and hence take it for granted.

On the contrary, let us assume that both spouses are working.  Even in this situation, we do not balance home and office work.  We tend to take for granted that our wives will take care of our home as we are busy at work.  We do not even realise that our wives also have work pressures and balancing home and work is not easy.  Hence, taking your wife for granted is more true than not.

Now, let us move to the organisational sphere.  Do we take our team members, colleagues and bosses for granted ?  Yes, it is true that many of us are so self centred that we look at the world only from own prisms.  We are not much concerned as to how it impacts our team or even our peers.  We take them for granted.  Sometimes, we also take our bosses for granted and assume that they will cover up for us in any crisis.

Why is it that we take everyone in life for granted ?  I assume it is a psychological phenomenon.  Human beings tend to believe that the whole world exists to support them.  We assume our family members, colleagues at work and members of the community are duty bound to help us to be successful in life. When this belief becomes one sided, that is where we start taking people for granted.  

The moment we start believing that we have to give before we take help from others, this problem will perish.  We have to learn to respect everyone and not take anyone for granted in life.  There is nobody in life, who is obligated to you.  We are born alone and will die alone.  But, we need the support of everyone in life to be successful.  Help is always mutual and respect is earned rather than given.  Hence, taking people for granted could lead to more distress than happiness.

We should neither take people or things for granted.  It is like taking a turn while driving your car by looking only at one of your side view mirrors as shown in the photo above.  This is like the driver taking his skills for granted.

Let us learn to respect people from today.

S Ramesh Shankar