I have been asked multiple times by managers as to how to know if their team members are fully engaged at the workplace. The answer is simple for me. Ask your employees if they are excited to come to work on a Monday morning. If the answer is yes, you have created an enviable work place. If the answer is no, you can ask them what they would like at the workplace so that they feel enthused and look forward to a Monday morning to come to work.

This may be true for kids as much it is for adults. I remember even twenty years back when my kids were in primary school, they were restless on Sundays since they were looking forward to go back to school on a Monday morning . When I asked them why, the answer was invariably that they enjoyed the company of their friends and the freedom and encouragement of their teachers.

I find it intriguing that managers find it difficult to unravel this simple truth. It could be because I have always been privileged to work with great teams and wonderful managers. I always eagerly looked forward to a Monday morning to get back to work. My work environment was always energising. It was not because of the physical comforts of the office. It was rather the emotional environment of the team with energy infused by my manager and other colleagues at the workplace.

I find most managers and leaders not even communicating with their team members. They find it difficult to walk around and have some fun with their colleagues. Even wishing back looks like a burden to them when their team members greet them in the morning. We do not lose any of our power or prestige by wishing people back when they greet us. Even the security guard at the office entrance is a human being and feels good when you politely wish him or her back in the morning.

Another interesting dimension is that managers are not able to understand that every individual in their team is unique. Some like public recognition while others may like it private. Some are more sensitive than others. We need to spend time with each of our team members to understand what energises them and accordingly mould our leadership style.

We also need to learn to break traditions. Why not have a party on a Monday morning at work rather than always on a weekend ? We need to spend time to create excitement at work for each member of our team. Every individual wants to excel and may do so if we provide the right impetus for them to do so. We cannot cut, copy and paste ways of dealing with people on everyone in our team. It is like every child at home is different, so it is at work. Everyone is a talent and may need to be harnessed to excel.

One of the simplest ways to communicate with your team is to share joy and sorrow. How often are we willing to share our lunch and spend time with them ? Are we at the hospital if a colleague falls sick ? Do we support a colleague to get over a crisis by being an emotional anchor ? These are small and simple ways of earning respect from our team members. It is neither too difficult to start nor to sustain.

Last but not the least is our fairness and authenticity with our colleagues at work. Do all our team members experience us as transparent and genuine leaders ? Authenticity has to be experienced through our actions every day. We cannot pretend to be so. It has to come naturally through our behaviour and actions.

Let us learn to lead by example.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st November 2018

I was watching a music reality show on TV. The best singer in my perception was singing and while delivering one of the best ghazals of all time faltered and forgot his lines. One of his co participants, who is his competitor vying for the same title, sang the line and encouraged him to complete the song. I salute this girl Sayli and her parents for inculcating such a wonderful value in their child.

Sayili is a young girl from the Chunnabati area of Mumbai. Her father is a ambulance driver and mother a home maker. Their only child is competing along with others in this contest. When a competitor of yours, who is a favourite to win the title falters, it can be music to your ears. Most of us as competitors would have rejoiced at such an instance. But here is a girl in her early twenties competing fiercely but demonstrated humanity in action. This is true sportsman spirit in any game.

The game of life is no different. We may compete with our classmates in class in academics or sports. We may not win always but we have a chance to win their hearts through our actions. Imagine helping the captain of the opposition team on the field when he is injured. Imagine taking a neighbour to the hospital when he is in distress even though he has harmed you more than helped you in normal times.

Each one of us would have gone through different moments in life when we would have been betrayed by a friend , relative or neighbour. We may never feel like forgiving them leave alone help them in trying times of theirs. But just think of the impact you can make on another human being if you can be good to them even though you lose more than you gain in that process.

Today I was touched by this incident. I had tears in my eyes when I saw it live on TV. The Benefactor was equally magnanimous. After his performance when Sayili approached him, he hugged her in gratitude and so he did with all other co participants.

We can learn such beautiful life lessons from such incidents in real life. It is the behaviours like these, which can win hearts of other human beings. Neither money nor fame can win you accolades as much as such acts of service without any expectations. I should confess that many of us including me may not have the generosity to help a competitor in real life, when he is in distress.

I would say this is God in human form. It is like the millions of common women and men who helped millions of other people in distress during this pandemic. I was reading about a middle class housewife who was in distress and was desperate to get admitted to a hospital. A taxi driver whom she hired to reach the nearest hospital went from one hospital to another and ultimately got her admitted and saved her life. He did not even leave his mobile number with her since he served human kind without any expectations in return.

I see God in human form in such acts of humanity.

I salute Sayili and her kind of young girls and boys today. Proud to live in a country, where such values are being inculcated by parents in their children.

Salute to Sayili and her wonderful parents.

S Ramesh Shankar

18th July 2021

Do we build relationships based on the monetary value of the person we are relating to ? It looks like that today. Whether within the family or with other friends, colleagues and relatives, we seem to build relationships based on our perceived value of the other person in economic terms.

It may not be true for all relationships but is increasingly becoming a trend. It is sad but is a stark reality in today’s material world. Relationships are meant to be unconditional and based on love and mutual respect. But today, we tend to measure the worth of a person only in money terms.

I do agree that this is not yet a universal truth. But I sometimes wonder why is it increasingly becoming the truth rather than an exception. It may be because of our materialistic instincts. We are increasingly valuing life in material terms.

We spend our whole life time accumulating wealth. There may be nothing wrong if it is done the ethical way. However, the danger is when wealth becomes the barometer for valuing relationships. How can one value your parents, siblings, colleagues or friends in monetary terms ?

We hear stories every day in the newspapers where parents are suing their children or the other way around. We see siblings filing cases against each other over property matters. Everything ultimately appears to be valued only in money terms. Children not caring for their parents or parents throwing away their kids from home.

All this leads to the basic question – how do we value relationships ? In my view relationships are to be based on love, respect or gratitude. I cannot imagine any relationship which is based on wealth. The moment love, respect or gratitude is missing in a relationship, it is bound to break or turn sour.

We need to realise that life is short and we need to make it sweet. We need to build relationships based on unconditionality. The moment we relate to someone with an ulterior motive, it is bound to fail. Relationships have to be natural to blossom and prosper.

In the past, we have heard of relationships which have survived generations. We have heard of businesses run based on mutual trust with no formal contract or agreement between partners. We have heard of life long partnership between friends, relatives and colleagues. This means all this possible and even prevalent today. It only means that we need to make it happen.

The day we build relationships based on mutual respect and unconditional love, it is bound to prosper. The day we are willing to contribute more than we get without any expectations in return, it is likely to succeed. Success or failure in a relationship is based on the unconditionality in that partnership.

All religions have taught us to respect the person and not their possessions. We seem to be carried away by valuing the wealth of a person rather than the love they shower on us. The day we respect the other person and love them rather than their financial position, we value the person and not their materiality.

I am happy that my relationship with my spouse has been unconditional and we liked each other irrespective of our material possessions, at every stage of our life.

Let us resolve to demonetise Relationships forever.

S Ramesh Shankar

2nd September 2018