I was watching a music reality show on TV. The best singer in my perception was singing and while delivering one of the best ghazals of all time faltered and forgot his lines. One of his co participants, who is his competitor vying for the same title, sang the line and encouraged him to complete the song. I salute this girl Sayli and her parents for inculcating such a wonderful value in their child.

Sayili is a young girl from the Chunnabati area of Mumbai. Her father is a ambulance driver and mother a home maker. Their only child is competing along with others in this contest. When a competitor of yours, who is a favourite to win the title falters, it can be music to your ears. Most of us as competitors would have rejoiced at such an instance. But here is a girl in her early twenties competing fiercely but demonstrated humanity in action. This is true sportsman spirit in any game.

The game of life is no different. We may compete with our classmates in class in academics or sports. We may not win always but we have a chance to win their hearts through our actions. Imagine helping the captain of the opposition team on the field when he is injured. Imagine taking a neighbour to the hospital when he is in distress even though he has harmed you more than helped you in normal times.

Each one of us would have gone through different moments in life when we would have been betrayed by a friend , relative or neighbour. We may never feel like forgiving them leave alone help them in trying times of theirs. But just think of the impact you can make on another human being if you can be good to them even though you lose more than you gain in that process.

Today I was touched by this incident. I had tears in my eyes when I saw it live on TV. The Benefactor was equally magnanimous. After his performance when Sayili approached him, he hugged her in gratitude and so he did with all other co participants.

We can learn such beautiful life lessons from such incidents in real life. It is the behaviours like these, which can win hearts of other human beings. Neither money nor fame can win you accolades as much as such acts of service without any expectations. I should confess that many of us including me may not have the generosity to help a competitor in real life, when he is in distress.

I would say this is God in human form. It is like the millions of common women and men who helped millions of other people in distress during this pandemic. I was reading about a middle class housewife who was in distress and was desperate to get admitted to a hospital. A taxi driver whom she hired to reach the nearest hospital went from one hospital to another and ultimately got her admitted and saved her life. He did not even leave his mobile number with her since he served human kind without any expectations in return.

I see God in human form in such acts of humanity.

I salute Sayili and her kind of young girls and boys today. Proud to live in a country, where such values are being inculcated by parents in their children.

Salute to Sayili and her wonderful parents.

S Ramesh Shankar

18th July 2021

Do we build relationships based on the monetary value of the person we are relating to ? It looks like that today. Whether within the family or with other friends, colleagues and relatives, we seem to build relationships based on our perceived value of the other person in economic terms.

It may not be true for all relationships but is increasingly becoming a trend. It is sad but is a stark reality in today’s material world. Relationships are meant to be unconditional and based on love and mutual respect. But today, we tend to measure the worth of a person only in money terms.

I do agree that this is not yet a universal truth. But I sometimes wonder why is it increasingly becoming the truth rather than an exception. It may be because of our materialistic instincts. We are increasingly valuing life in material terms.

We spend our whole life time accumulating wealth. There may be nothing wrong if it is done the ethical way. However, the danger is when wealth becomes the barometer for valuing relationships. How can one value your parents, siblings, colleagues or friends in monetary terms ?

We hear stories every day in the newspapers where parents are suing their children or the other way around. We see siblings filing cases against each other over property matters. Everything ultimately appears to be valued only in money terms. Children not caring for their parents or parents throwing away their kids from home.

All this leads to the basic question – how do we value relationships ? In my view relationships are to be based on love, respect or gratitude. I cannot imagine any relationship which is based on wealth. The moment love, respect or gratitude is missing in a relationship, it is bound to break or turn sour.

We need to realise that life is short and we need to make it sweet. We need to build relationships based on unconditionality. The moment we relate to someone with an ulterior motive, it is bound to fail. Relationships have to be natural to blossom and prosper.

In the past, we have heard of relationships which have survived generations. We have heard of businesses run based on mutual trust with no formal contract or agreement between partners. We have heard of life long partnership between friends, relatives and colleagues. This means all this possible and even prevalent today. It only means that we need to make it happen.

The day we build relationships based on mutual respect and unconditional love, it is bound to prosper. The day we are willing to contribute more than we get without any expectations in return, it is likely to succeed. Success or failure in a relationship is based on the unconditionality in that partnership.

All religions have taught us to respect the person and not their possessions. We seem to be carried away by valuing the wealth of a person rather than the love they shower on us. The day we respect the other person and love them rather than their financial position, we value the person and not their materiality.

I am happy that my relationship with my spouse has been unconditional and we liked each other irrespective of our material possessions, at every stage of our life.

Let us resolve to demonetise Relationships forever.

S Ramesh Shankar

2nd September 2018

A friend shared a story with me. It touched my heart and hence this blog. He said he was driving behind a car and was getting impatient since the driver in the car ahead of him was driving slow and not giving way. He honked and was fuming till he saw a sticker which stated that the car in front of him was being driven by a physically challenged person.

Why do we need stickers to teach us to behave ourselves in our lives ? Do we need people telling us that they are “suffering from cancer” or “they have lost a near and dear one” or they “have lost their job” through stickers on their face or their back.

We seem to be living in a world without emotions. We seem to be living for ourselves than for anyone else around us. Lets reflect on how we behave with our family, friends or colleagues at work.

When we get back from work we are busy with out laptops or mobiles and believe that the organisation does not exist without us. This false belief continues possibly till the day we lose our job or retire from work. It could be a false self image of ourselves. In this process, we do not have the time to wish our spouse or encourage our kids in their academics, sports or cultural activities. How can we justify this ever ?

If we move to the work place, the situation is no different. We believe our colleagues are machines, which are paid to work and give their best. We demand more than they can deliver and losing our cool with them is a matter of right for us. We are neither aware of the problems they are facing in their personal world nor do we have the time or the inclination to get to know them. We live and work in a heartless organisation and believe our colleagues are like robots, who work for us.

How about our friends ? In this era of social media, we believe if we get hundreds of likes for our posts on social media, our day is made. We get depressed when nobody reacts for a few seconds for every post we make on the social media. Our friends are virtual and emotions are expressed only in emoticons. We do not remember the birthdays or anniversaries of close friends and do not have the time to visit them.

This post from my friend really triggered my thoughts. It churned my emotions. I wanted to challenge myself and everyone around me to change. To change for the better. It is time to realise how valuable it is to spend time with your family. It is worthwhile to empathise with your colleagues at work and know them as human beings with emotions. We need to find the time to meet friends and share our time.

We can see a tram in front of us on the road as in the photo above, but if there is no sign -“Do not cross the road” , we may be tempted to do so.

We need to remember that human beings are social. We do not need invisible stickers on their face or their back for us to behave like fellow human beings. We need sense the emotions in others and be human.

Let us start now.

S Ramesh Shankar