We all have a tendency to blame everyone else in the world for almost everything. If things work for us, we take the credit and when something does not work, we blame others. This is the reality of the world. Lets start with ourselves and our lives. If I come first in the class we say it is all due to my hard work. If we fail in the class, it is due to teachers not doing their job or parents forcing me to take a subject I do not like and so on.

If we move to the work place, life is no different. If I do well on the job it is because of my hard work. If I do not do well, it is because of lack of support from my boss or from other colleagues at work. This again proves that everything going well at work is because of me and everyone else around me is responsible for anything going wrong.

If we move to society at large the situation is not very different. If the roads are flooded during the monsoon, we blame the government, municipalities or contractors. However, if the I choke the drains with plastic waste I am not responsible. If the city is not clean, the state has to be blamed. If I litter garbage around my house, we may blame the municipality for not having effective garbage collection system.

All this leads me to reflect as to why do I blame the world for everything that goes wrong in my life ? Why do I take the credit for all that I do well in my life ? Is this human psychology or our limitation and selfishness ? I would consider it human limitation and our selfishness. We as human beings always want to take the credit for everything positive in life and blame the world for all the negatives.

I was wondering how the world would change if we looked within ourselves and decide to reverse this trend. Imagine my giving all the credit to my teachers and parents for all my success in life. What would happen if I credit my boss and colleagues for my success at the work place ? How will society be different if I lead the change I want to see in my environs ?

I think it is time for us to lead this change and make a positive impact in society. I would like to take responsibility for all my actions. If things go right in my life I could give credit to the people who have made it possible. If I do something wrong I will take the responsibility and ensure that I own it up. This will ensure that the people who deserve the credit for my success in life get the due.

All this will also ensure that there is an attitudinal change in society. Change always begins with the individual. Like we say an organisation is not buildings or structures, it is a summation of people working in it. Similarly, change has to begin with the individual. Why blame the world for my sins ? If I smoke, I am responsible for it. How can I blame my friends or relatives and claim that they have got me into this habit ?

A selfie above is a good illustration that change begins with me.

We always tend to externalise a problem or an issue ? We want to blame the world for all our wrongdoings . We want to blame society for anything which happens to us. We want to blame the government for all inaction and evils in the community. It is time to reflect and change. It is time to introspect and act. It is time to look within oneself rather than outside ourself.

Change begins with me.

Let me start today.

S Ramesh Shankar

In my definition, the minimalist fulfills his needs in life while the maximalist tries to fulfill greed.  Most of us grow up from middle class families and it is but natural to be aspirational.  I think there is nothing wrong with that.  We need to work hard and look to a brighter future in our career and life.  We tend to start accumulating material wealth and look for ways and means to fulfill our dreams.

As students, we mostly cannot afford to live our dreams as we do not want to burden our parents.  But, as we get into a job, we look for every occasion to save and realize our dreams.  It may sometimes not happen when we want it to happen but as and when it happens, it is a moment of joy.  I still cannot forget as to how I used to aspire to buy a world class music system of a particular brand and it took me almost 5 years to realize it.  I used to visit the show room of this brand on every occasion I could and admire the system from the window till the day I could afford it.

As our responsibilities increase, we try to balance our income and expenditure.  We do try to save and thereby look for fulfilling our life long wishes.  As long as one works honestly and hard, there is absolutely nothing wrong to dream for anything.  It is but human to have needs and as Maslow taught us long years ago that human needs are hierarchial.  It starts with physiological needs, then safety, social, esteem and finally self actualisation.  Interestingly our behaviour today validates Maslow’s theory on motivation.

We first try to fulfill our needs of food, shelter and clothing.  We then want to secure our family and safety.  We then look for love and belonging by being social, then need recognition to enhance esteem and finally we want to attain nirvana or self actualisation.  This could also be linked to different age groups and career stages.  In our twenties and thirties we are focussed on fulfilling physiological and safety needs.  In our forties, we are looking for social,  esteem and recognition.  After we enter our fiftees, we tend to move towards attaining self actualisation.

When we reach the stage of nirvana, we all want to be minimalist.  We want to give back to society more than we have got from it.  But this may be easier said than done.  Let us take a simple phenomenon like shopping.  If we enter a mall, we end up buying clothes or other accessories of our interest even though we may not need them.  This is inspite of the fact that we have enough clothes and accessories we need but we cannot resist the temptation of shopping.  I call this phenomenon as minimalist in thought and maximalist in action.

I have been no different.  I have gone through all the stages of fulfilling my needs as I have stated above.  Today, I am moving towards the stage of self actualisation.  However, as I said earlier, I am still tempted to buy things which I like although I may not need them or already have them.  For example, I recently bought a new camera since I love photography and this is the latest in terms of technology.  This is inspite of my having three other cameras in my possession.  

As in the photo above, we all want to eat less and maintain our health( like a minimalist) but end up gobbling away(like a maximalist) and impact our health adversely.

The only way I have learnt to get over this temptation is to give as much as I take.  So, I decided to give away two of my old cameras to people who will need them after I bought a new camera.  Similarly, I try to donate old clothes as many as I buy new ones to people who need them more than me.  This is no way the best way to be a minimalize but may be a less guilty way.

Life is a journey and we need to learn to live every day.

S Ramesh Shankar

“Child is the father of man” or so goes the saying.  Most of us will recall that the best years of our lives were when we were kids.  We did what our heart wanted without worrying about what others thought about it.  As we grow up, we tend to live for others.  We act the way others want us to do.  We have lost the child in us and this is indeed very sad.

We find it difficult to laugh or cry every day when we feel like doing. Smile replaces laughter because we start believing that the world will laugh at us if we are too loud.  In situations where we feel like crying, we hide our emotions since we are conditioned to believe that adults do not cry.  If you cry, you are kid and have not grown up.  This leads to our conditioned behaviour.  It is almost like the air conditioned environment that we are used to in our offices and homes today and we have forgotten the heat of the summer, the gush of the rains or the chillness of the winter.

I sometimes wonder how beautiful life would be if we can continue to be our natural selves.  Imagine dancing in the rains and getting wet at the onset of monsoon.  It would be fun to sit on the sea shore and play with sea shells in the sand.  I remember enjoying raw cut mangoes on the beach with family and friends during vacations.  The joy of travelling by train with family on a long summer holiday appears a bygone era.

Who do we blame for losing the child in us ?  We can conveniently blame our education system.  We can blame our parents and elders for not allowing us to enjoy life as a kid and forcing us to behave like adults even before we grew into one.  But, I would blame myself more than anyone else.  Nothing stops me to sit and cry if I feel like doing so even today as an adult.  There is nothing which stops me at laughing at myself and jumping in joy.

We have become less adaptable to the environment around us.  We find it difficult to cope with situations of joy or sorrow and hence want to be behave like conditioned beings.  It is easier for us to hide our emotions than to express it.  We are guarded in our behaviour at home, work and in the community.  The day we learn to be our natural selves, we may be able to rejuvenate the child in us.

It is time to laugh and cry when we feel like.  It is time to express ourselves with everyone around us the way we feel like.  Let us rekindle the kid in us.  The best outcome of this change will be our ability to bounce back from the troughs in our life.  We will also be able to deal with crests with equanimity.  We can see children bounce back from sorrow even before we realise it.  We also see children sharing their joy with others and not riding on a sense of pride always.

It’s time to bring back the child in us as in the photo above.

The time to start is now and the day to start is today.  It does not matter how old or young you are.  Our physical age is just a number.  We need to live life as if a tomorrow does not exist.  We need to learn to enjoy life and share our joy with others.  There is no better way to do it than the way children do it.  It is time to learn and it is time to learn from the kids around us.

Let us regenerate the child in us from today.

S Ramesh Shankar