Born to Crib…

We meet some people in our lives who crib for everything . They seem to look at life as an opportunity to blame others all the time. They may even cry as to why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and not the other way around.

I find this attitude of people very amusing. In my view, they not only make their own life miserable but makes life horrible for all the people around them. One meets such people in all walks of life. If you are unlucky, you may have one of them in your family itself. They do exist in organisations and even as neighbours in communities.

If you look at their typical day, they look for opportunities to crib. They may blame the toothbrush or paste for tooth decay. They may find fault in their spouse for making a bad cup of coffee. They find no nutrition in their breakfast. As they leave home for work, they find everyone around them violating traffic rules while they themselves may not stop at traffic signals.

At the work place, if the security guard wishes them “ Good Morning”, they may ask what is good about the morning ? Then as they settle in their seat, if their customer calls them complaining about an issue, they may shout back without realising that their action could make the organisation lose a customer.

In their world view, they are perfect in everything they do but find everyone around them as useless or not doing their duties. They are critical of everyone in the family itself. Most family members generally tend to ignore them as they cannot avoid them if they live in the same premises.

In organisations, sometimes they may be excellent individual contributors but nobody wants them in their team. They dissipate the energy of the team with their attitude and behaviour. They always looks at work and life as glass half empty. They always believe that they are filling the glasses while others around are busy emptying them.

I have met them in my family circles, friends and as colleagues at work. I have tried to influence them many a time to change their attitude to life. While it takes a lot of your own positive energy to change their attitude, you should be aware that they are capable of converting you into a negative person in return.

Organisations, communities and individuals have a responsibility to influence these individuals and convert them into positive personalities. It is not not only good for them but all the people around them. Their negativity can kill their own health apart from impacting others the wrong way.

I should clarify that all of us tend to crib at something or the other. The problem is when you crib at everything and not at something in life. When cribbing because a part your day to day habits and integral part of your life, that is when we need to work on it.

We need to learn from the snail as in the photo above and move on in life and never consider it has a full stop. The snail although slow and steady but never stops.

Even if each of us take responsibility of influencing one negative and cribbing individual in our lives, it will make a positive difference to everybody’s life. It will transform them, communities and societies at large.

Let each one influence one.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th October 2020

I

I am responsible

We are in the midst of a worldwide crisis. It is a pandemic impacting every nook and corner of the world. It started about a year and a half ago and does not seem to be ending soon. We in India fought the first wave quite well but our ability to anticipate the more treacherous second wave was not good enough.

Today, we see people suffering in every nook and corner of the country. It looks like almost every other family is impacted by this deadly virus. While statistics may look different to different people, the real impact is on the family which is facing the brunt even if it is the only family in that town, city or community.

We have had a lot of criticism of the way it has been handled by everyone. We are blaming the central government, the state government and even the experts from the healthcare industry for this state of affairs. Whichever end of the political spectrum we belong to we are willing to blame the party in power without knowing how much everyone knew or could anticipate this second wave.

While it may be easy to write about it or criticise it, (having been an administrator for almost four decades I can say with confidence ) it may be more difficult to anticipate or manage it as an administrator. So, the next question is , what do we do about it. I would recommend the following steps to deal with this situation :

A. Let the governments at the centre and state do whatever best they can in the current circumstances. Let us support their efforts without being critical of every action since I am not sure if we could have done better even if we were in their seats of power.

B. Let us take responsibility for our actions – wearing masks, keeping distance and washing hands everywhere we go

C. Let us take charge of our family and friends whom we can directly influence.

D. If we are large hearted, let us take responsibility for the community we live in to ensure compliance to all the guidelines prescribed by the government.

E. Let us be more responsible in not posting anything negative or creating false panic by forwarding messages on social media etc.

I believe if we are willing to do the above, the crisis will be under control sooner than later.

As in the photo above, this child is taking responsibility for his behaviour even standing on a beach. If a child can do it, why not we.

The most important step is that I take responsibility for the conduct and compliance of myself, my family and my community. If each of us are willing to do this, then we make the task for the governments easier.

Let us start now.

S Ramesh Shankar

26th April 2021

Despite all odds …

I have met people in different walks of life, who have succeeded despite of all odds against them in their lives. All of us face ups and downs in life. Some of us are willing to take it into our stride, while others buckle under pressure. What are the key characteristics of people, who are winners despite all odds ?

I will first share stories of some people I have met in my life or read about them to understand them better. Then we will try to look at the key personality traits of these people so that we can learn from them.

The first story which comes to my mind is that of young daughter of a constable in Tamil Nadu. She grew up in a remote town named Dindigul and fought against all possible restrictions to educate her self. Being a constable’s daughter she could not think of prestigious schools or colleges. But she pursued her dream of making it to the Indian Police Service by her sheer determination and hard work. She was ably supported by her parents and today she is serving the country in another state as an Indian Police Service Officer. Her real name is N Ambika and she is DCP at Mumbai today.

My second story is that of a tribal woman from Jharkhand. She also found it very difficult even to go to school. In spite of excellent academic credentials she could pursue her studies only in vernacular medium as she was not admitted in good schools. She scored 100% in mathematics but was discouraged to pursue her graduation in the same although she was passionate about it. Yesterday, I read that she has been appointed the Vice Chancellor of a University in the same state. Her real name is Sonajharia Minz and she is the Vice Chancellor of Sido Kanha Murmu University ( SKMU) in Dumka, Jharkhand.

The third story is that of a colleague of mine in my first organisation SAIL. His name is Koilvaram. He passed out his school in Tirunveli district of Tamil Nadu and then proceeded to Bhilai in search of a job. Those days most of us learnt typing or shorthand since it was easier to get a job as a typist or a stenographer. He started his career as a stenographer. Then pursued his graduation and post graduation through evening classes on his own earnings and then completed cost accountancy course too. He did not stop there. He applied and became a management trainee along with us in 1981 through his own efforts. He then learnt IT and moved to the insurance sector and held senior positions. Today he is working with the state of California in San Fransico. He has migrated and settled with his family in USA for many years now ( as in the photo above).

What do these stories teach us ? Nothing can stop us from achieving anything in life if we are willing to work hard for it. We need to pursue our passion with perseverance and never give up. Some of the learnings from these stories about the key qualities of these people are :

A. They have a dream and they pursue it till they make it a reality

B. They are willing to face any challenges in the journey of their pursuit.

C. They work hard and make up for their limitations and not go about complaining to everyone what they don’t have.

D. Dogged determination may be the key to their success.

E. Our limitations are more in our mind than in reality.

I have learnt a lot from such people in life. It has helped to face all challenges with a smile. We have many such unsung heroines and heroes all around us. It is for us to get inspired from them and imbibe their learnings.

Life is like a highway and we can keep driving if we want to and reach our destination without complaining about bad roads or the weather or traffic if we make up our mind to do it.

Lets start our drive today.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st May 2020