I have always wondered as to why do I remain unhappy most of the time. I regret my past, crib about the present and dream about the future. I do not realize that neither can I change the past, nor redefine the present. If I only dream about the future, it is likely to become the present sooner than I realize it.

Life is a journey. We need to learn to live each day as if today is the last day of our lives. Why waste time in regretting the past, which is far behind us. Why wonder and dream about a future which is still uncertain ? Is it not a good idea to live the present to the full. Enjoy each day as if it was made to be that way.

While it may be easy to state the obvious, I wonder why many of us live life this way. We spend most of the time regretting about our past or wondering about the future. In this process, we forget to live the present. Is it worth spending time on things we cannot change. Is it not better to enjoy today and create a future of our choice.

The day I realise that my past may not help me create my future, I may be one step towards enjoying the present. Living life every day my way will make me happier. I need to realise that I am wasting my life worrying about my past or wondering about my future.

I also have to realise that life is not joyful if I live in relative terms. I need to learn to live life in absolute terms. I have to be happy and grateful for what I have rather than what I don’t have. I spend most of the time wondering why some others have more than me. In this process I sometimes forget what all I have which many others don’t have in life.

I need to live life on my own terms. I have a right to dream and work hard to make that dream a reality. Just dreaming is not good enough. The harder I work, the chances of my dreams becoming a reality is more. Most of the time I dream of the future and wonder why I cannot be like someone else. My life is wasted in envying others and feeling negative about life without living it and enjoying it myself.

We can achieve what we want in life, the day we are willing to forget the past, be grateful for the present and be willing to toil for the future. We could be happy and content in life.

I also need to realise that my life is in my hands. If I spend time blaming my family, friends or fate for my destiny, it is my problem. I cannot blame anyone for my life and the way I live it. This is my biggest lesson to live life happily every day.

As in the photo above, a child can teach you to enjoy life every moment without regretting the past or wondering about the future.

Today I realise that I need to live life one day at a time. I need to learn to forget the past, enjoy the present and create my future through my dreams followed by working hard towards my goals.

Time to start enjoying life is today. What do you think ?

S Ramesh Shankar

31st January 2021

Some of us spend our whole life, living in denial. We are not willing to accept life as it is. We want to believe that we can change our life dramatically overnight without much effort. I would call this “living in denial”

I am a born optimist and always believe that everyone of us can chart our own destiny. But to believe that we can change our future without much efforts is fertile imagination. We tend to compare ourselves with the successful people around us and wonder why we cannot be like them. We may envy celebrities in sports or the film industry after they become successful but do not know their struggles and the arduous journey they undertook in the process of their achieving glory.

We almost believe that if celebrities who may be less educated than us can achieve something in life, why we cannot. There is nothing fundamentally wrong in thinking that way. What we need to realise is their journey to stardom may not have been a cake walk . If someone has achieved something in life, it is after years of toil and sweat and many setbacks, which may not be visible to us after they have arrived in life.

We sometimes think that we are always at the receiving end of life. It may or may not be true and could be just a perception. We tend to believe this way as we compare ourselves with others in terms of what they have achieved in life and not in terms of what efforts they have put in to reach wherever they have reached.

Life becomes challenging only due to comparisons. There is nothing wrong to compare with the best and learn from them. But comparing with others to feel bad about what they have achieved is only going to demotivate us further. It is better to compete with oneself and do better than whatever we have done so far. We need to always remember that “Excellence is a journey and not a destination”

The concept of “living in denial” not only leads to disappointment and frustration in our own life but tends to impact all the people around us. It is better to live life in terms of possibilities rather challenges. Every challenge is a possibility and we can turn tables upside down with our efforts. It is upto us to sit back and crib or plunge forward and attain our goals.

The journey of life is not always smooth. What we need to remember is that this is an universal truth and not exclusively applicable to us. Every individual struggles in her/his own way. Some are visible to us and some others struggle in shadows unseen to us. This does not mean they faced no difficulties in achieving what they want to. It only means that we are not privy to what they have faced before they have succeeded.

We need to set our vison. Then set our goals and evolve our strategy. This has to be followed by consistent efforts day in and night out and celebrate each milestone we achieve towards our goal. Every setback could be a learning while every victory could enable us to celebrate our efforts. This way can only lead to successful accomplishment of our goals in life. I have not seen it otherwise in my life or my career.

As in the photo above, the trek to the top of the mountain may be tough. But even that can be achieved if we are willing to take the first step.

The time to reset and start is today. Let us do it now.

S Ramesh Shankar

9th November 2020

We meet some people in our lives who crib for everything . They seem to look at life as an opportunity to blame others all the time. They may even cry as to why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and not the other way around.

I find this attitude of people very amusing. In my view, they not only make their own life miserable but makes life horrible for all the people around them. One meets such people in all walks of life. If you are unlucky, you may have one of them in your family itself. They do exist in organisations and even as neighbours in communities.

If you look at their typical day, they look for opportunities to crib. They may blame the toothbrush or paste for tooth decay. They may find fault in their spouse for making a bad cup of coffee. They find no nutrition in their breakfast. As they leave home for work, they find everyone around them violating traffic rules while they themselves may not stop at traffic signals.

At the work place, if the security guard wishes them “ Good Morning”, they may ask what is good about the morning ? Then as they settle in their seat, if their customer calls them complaining about an issue, they may shout back without realising that their action could make the organisation lose a customer.

In their world view, they are perfect in everything they do but find everyone around them as useless or not doing their duties. They are critical of everyone in the family itself. Most family members generally tend to ignore them as they cannot avoid them if they live in the same premises.

In organisations, sometimes they may be excellent individual contributors but nobody wants them in their team. They dissipate the energy of the team with their attitude and behaviour. They always looks at work and life as glass half empty. They always believe that they are filling the glasses while others around are busy emptying them.

I have met them in my family circles, friends and as colleagues at work. I have tried to influence them many a time to change their attitude to life. While it takes a lot of your own positive energy to change their attitude, you should be aware that they are capable of converting you into a negative person in return.

Organisations, communities and individuals have a responsibility to influence these individuals and convert them into positive personalities. It is not not only good for them but all the people around them. Their negativity can kill their own health apart from impacting others the wrong way.

I should clarify that all of us tend to crib at something or the other. The problem is when you crib at everything and not at something in life. When cribbing because a part your day to day habits and integral part of your life, that is when we need to work on it.

We need to learn from the snail as in the photo above and move on in life and never consider it has a full stop. The snail although slow and steady but never stops.

Even if each of us take responsibility of influencing one negative and cribbing individual in our lives, it will make a positive difference to everybody’s life. It will transform them, communities and societies at large.

Let each one influence one.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th October 2020

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