Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

I versus We

Our world today seems to be revolving around “I”. The day we grow from “I” to “We”, we may have arrived. While it may look simple, it is possibly the most difficult and challenging transition in life. While it looks like a single alphabet to a double alphabet, it is is not as simple as that.

The first and foremost hurdle in this change process is our “ego”. Our ego prevents us to subsume the “I” in our thinking and move towards the “We”. We are worried all the time about ourselves and our family members. The first step could be to think of our community and our society at large, wherever we live.

If every individual is selfish enough to care for self and not worry about others well being, the world evolves into a cruel place to live in. The day we are able to sacrifice selfish needs to the larger good of others, our journey of transition begins.

One may wonder where this all begins. In my view, the family is the basic social unit of society, where it all begins. As parents and elders, it is our duty to inculcate the right values amongst children so that they are able to see beyond themselves always.

I remember my school days, wherein sharing our tiffin was such a source of joy. Today parents advise children not to share and think it is unhealthy for everyone. Ofcourse during the pandemic days it may be better not to share. But in normal times, sharing is caring.

Our schools and colleges also need to re look at the curriculum to promote the “We” rather than the “I”. Everyone is encouraged to excel as individuals whether in academics or otherwise. We need to possibly redesign our academic courses to promote peer learning and enabling each other to succeed.

I realise that countries which promote “We” more than “I” are better in team sports than individual games. Team spirit not only enables this crucial transition in life but also enables growth of individuals, teams, communities and societies, at large.

Even organisation cultures and performance management systems tend to promote “I” over “We”. It is time to challenge all of these and ensure that we promote team work more than individual excellence. I am not for one stating the individuals should not strive for excellence. What I am suggesting that individual brilliance should not be at the cost of others.

Lastly, as a community, society and nation also we need to promote this change. We need to enable each other to succeed every day in our lives. We need to support other families and communities to be successful. Even states need to enable each other to move forward.

The current pandemic is a great opportunity for the developed world to enable the developing world to face this crisis together. We need to remember that humanity will survive only by collective efforts and not by individual brilliance of nations.

Let us together resolve to move from”I” to “We”.

S Ramesh Shankar

10th May 2021

“Me time” versus “We time”

I got married 37 years back and live with my life partner and travelled around India and the world. One of the questions many people have asked me as how do we maintain individuality even in a harmonious partnership like ours.

I am not sure if I have perfected this art but I can say confidently that both of us have found our own paths. We are different personalities. I am an extrovert and my partner is more of an introvert. I enjoy driving, playing with gadgets and meeting people of different genres, while my spouse is the other way round.

Our ability to find “me time” and “we time” helps us strike the right balance in life. We both enjoy walking, travelling to places, yoga and music. So every day we have been going for a walk for almost three decades. We have been doing yoga together daily for more than five years. We have travelled around the country and some parts of the world and enjoyed our time together.

However, I do enjoy my “me time” exploring new gadgets and visiting business schools or engineering colleges to share my experience. On the other hand, my wife loves to learn new arts and crafts and write poems when she wants to express her emotions. This is our way of giving space to one another. Similarly, I enjoy sports, while she enjoys gardening and we are perfectly fine with each others varied interests.

We need to find ways to supporting each other in both frames. There may be times when we want to be together and there could be other times when we want to be left alone. Each of us needs to find ways and means of respecting each other’s time.

We may sometimes feel that our partner is not interested in what we want to do and that is perfectly human to feel so. Our partner may feel the same about us too. In such situations, good communication between us may help us prevent any misunderstandings.

It may be sometimes worthwhile to transition from “me” to “we” and then “us”, as we also need to remember that we are part of a bigger family and hence our ability to balance our time share between self, partner and family folks becomes important.

One of the challenges we face while juggling between me, we and us is our ability to manage time. We may at times get carried away by our own personal or joint interests and in this process may hurt our partner or other family members.

It is important to realise that “me time” is as important as “we time” to build and sustain a relationship. The ability to understand ,when and where which one is more important than the other makes one an endearing partner in life.

We need to respect others “me time” as much as we would want them to respect ours. Similarly, we need to find ways and means to have a “we time” together so that it helps us build and endure our relationship.

Let “Me” lead to “We” and also the other way around.

Lets try from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

15th May 2021

 

Sleeping under the stars

As a kid I hailed from a lower middle class family. During the summer days especially in a city like Chennai, it was very hot and humid. We used to run to the terrace and sleep under the night sky to cool ourselves. Life was blissful admiring the sparkling stars and the moon too.

Then as we grew up, finished our formal education and started our career, we split from our families and started life on our own. As a bachelor, I never had the time to go to the terrace to see the night sky again.

We then moved to bigger cities and the stars almost disappeared from the sky. It was not because the stars were not around but we as human beings had polluted the environment so much that there was a layer of dust and pollution hiding the stars from our naked eyes.

The air coolers and then the air conditioners entered our homes making us cosy indoors and we moved further away from the beautiful night sky. Literally we found ways and means to run away from nature. We neither got the clean air to breathe nor the sights of stars and planets.

We have become materialistic human beings. We are happy accumulating wealth and not realising that money cannot buy health or happiness for us. There may be nothing wrong in satisfying our material needs as long as we can afford it. But to forget the laws of nature and respecting nature can be catastrophic for us.

We realise how much we miss our connect with nature only when we visit a hill station or a forest for a vacation. Unfortunately most of the holiday destinations have also become as crowded as a city nowadays. We need to find destinations where we can connect with nature and wander around listening to the song of birds, admiring the movement of the clouds, the sound of the wind or gazing at the stars.

We need to strike the right balance between technological advancement and the preservation of nature. One cannot be at the cost of the other. While technology and development have definitely made life more comfortable for us, it cannot and should not be at the cost of nature. After all nature bestows us with unlimited resources and gives life to our living. We have a responsibility to respect and sustain it.

This pandemic is a wake up call for all of us. We suddenly realised that we have destroyed nature for fulfilling our selfish human wants. A symbolic illustration was recently seen by many of us. We cut trees from the forests and destroyed nature in the name of modernisation and today we are in need of oxygen from cylinders because nature may be teaching us lessons on sustenance.

Life comes a full circle. I would love to go back to the open terrace and have a good night’s sleep on a natural fibre mat under the stars. I would like to commit that I will respect nature in all ways I can. I will give back to nature at least as much as I take from her.

Let us commit to respect nature in all ways possible from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

15th May 2021