Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Be like a sunflower

Some people may say – “we should be like the sunflower”. Why would they say that. The sunflower faces the sun and turns its head as the sun moves from east to west during the day. Similarly, we could, in life, choose who our sun and follow them day and night to evolve as a better human being.

Each of us have the privilege of choosing our own sun in life. It could be either of our parents, a sibling, a friend, a neighbour or even a colleague at work. It could be a public figure as well. It does not matter. We will always choose someone, who is a role model for us , in life.

This phenomenon is called “Phototropism”. The stem of the sunflower grows in such a way that it will bend towards the sun. Similarly, in our lives, we need to discover who our sun is and need to learn from them everyday of our lives. We, as humans can have more than one sun too as we are more privileged than the sunflower, who has only one sun.

During our childhood, in most cases, the parents become our sun and role models in life. As we grow up , our friends tend to influence our lives, more than our family. Then it is the turn of colleagues at the workplace, who make all the difference to our lives.

When they say, we have to to be like the sunflower – what they mean is that , we need to decide whom do we follow to learn the best in life. One of the leadership theory in management talks of “followership”. Just like the olden days, the students considered the “Guru” or teacher as their role model and followed whatever they said blindly, because the belief was that , whatever they said or did was in their best interest.

Similarly, every day of our lives ,we have to determine who our role model is, whom we may metaphorically call the sun. It could still be our parents, teachers, friends, siblings, neighbours or colleagues at work or could be different people at different stages of life , too.

As the sunflower follows the sun, it grows. Similarly, if we follow our role models in life, we always may grow just like the sunflower does. It is up to us to determine our role models. We have the liberty to have different role models ,for different aspects of life too.

The sunflower does not look at the other flowers around and change its direction. Similarly, we also need to be focused ,on who our sun is in life and follow them diligently. The more focused our followership, the more successful, we could be in life.

As I said earlier, unlike the sunflower , we are more privileged as we can have more than one sun ,in life. We can further change our sun for learning in different phases of our lives too. It is up to us to define who our sun is and learn from, on a continual basis without fail.

It could happen that sometimes we may make mistakes and choose the wrong sun in our lives. We are human and it is natural to err , at times. But, we could again learn from the sunflower and change our direction to the new sun , as we have determined for our success in life.

Let us learn from the sunflower every day.

S Ramesh Shankar

17th Sep 2023

It’s easier to tell the truth, than lie

Our lives are embedded with truth and lies. We try our best to live truthfully but do end up with lies when we face challenges and find it difficult to overcome them truthfully.

If we look back at our lives, there could be millions of instances when we wanted to tell the truth, but had to a lie ,since we did not have the courage to speak the truth.

Our childhood is testimony to many such instances. We may have broken a glass bottle but would unhesitatingly blame our sibling ,since we do not want to face the wrath of our parents. We may have bunked school for a game of football but would lie to our teachers when caught, that we were not aware that the class was on.

As adolescents, we may have smoked or had a drink in a party, but when caught by our parents ,would again lie that we never smoked or drank although we attended the party and so on. The list is endless and the excuses become more innovative ,as we grow older and more experienced at it.

After having invented many innovative lies in different stages of life like a kid, adolescent or an adult at work, I realise today that it is easier to tell the truth, then lie.

The trend continues at the workplace. We may lie many times that our aunts, uncles and grandparents have passed away, when we bunk office and have no plausible reason to give for taking leave. We may fake sickness when we miss deadlines in a project and so on.

I can recall many instances, when one lie had to be covered up with a hundred more lies. If I bunked a class and went for a movie and was caught by a neighbour, I may have faked that some classmate met with an accident. Then, when the neighbour enquires which hospital, we have to lie again and then what injury ,would lead to a third lie and so on . the list is endless.

On the other hand, sometimes telling the truth may solve the issue faster and is simpler. If caught watching a movie, bunking a class by a teacher and accepting that we bunked and went for a movie , it may end the issue without any complications. However, life is not so simple. so ,sometimes we tend to lie and one lie leads to another thousand lies.

As we grow and learn in life, we may realise ,that speaking the truth is easier. However, it needs more courage and honesty, which is not easy in life. As we speak the truth, life becomes more challenging ,as sometimes we may lose our face and at other times , our prestige. But in the long term, the path of truth may be easier to live ,than the volley of lies.

It could be difficult to speak the truth ,as a kid and even as an adolescent but as we turn into adults, we could realise the ease of speaking the truth versus the complexity of speaking lies ,everyday of our life.

We could be forgiven as a kid or even as an adolescent, as we are learning by the mistakes we commit ,every day. But, as an adult our ability to learn from the mistakes accelerates and it may be difficult for people to forgive us for speaking lies, so easily.

It is easier to speak the truth, then lie in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

17th Sep 2023

What we don’t understand, need not be wrong

Everyday, we may encounter many situations in life, where we may not understand what is being said or done. Sometimes, we may be ignorant and at other times irritated at such experiences. But it is important to remember that what we don’t understand need not be wrong.

Let me explain this simple truth of life, through some real life examples. A kid may cry to the doctor about pain in her hand. The doctor may examine and clinically certify that there is nothing wrong with the hand of the kid. But the truth of the kid is her truth, although the doctor is not able to understand or diagnose the root cause of the pain, the kid continues to suffer.

Similarly, when a child leaves home for higher studies to another country, the parents feel the vacuum. The child feels that there is nothing to worry about as she plans to return home after studies. However, the pain of the parents cannot be truly understood by the adolescent and none may be wrong on either side.

There are many such instances at the work place too. If a team member complains of some complexity in solving an issue, we may not understand the same ,as we tend to look at such complaints as excuses, to not complete the job on time.

Even in life when a newly married daughter or daughter in law cries, the spouse may find it weird and incomprehensible but our inability to understand the issue ,does not mean there are no issues.

The simple thing to do in all such situations, is to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and look at the world from their eyes. We may discover a new perspective about the issue. We need to realise that everybody’s truth is their truth and if we fail to understand the same from their viewpoint, the problem is ours, not theirs.

One may say that it is easier to write on this issue rather than experience it. I do not deny the same. However after experiencing life at home, in the society and at work, I can confidently confess ,that I have failed many times in such situations.

Our ability to empathise is easier said than done. For eg, when two partners in a marriage fight with each other, each one thinks the other is the problem. They neither have the time nor the patience to listen to one another or put one another in each others’s shoes.

It is similar between siblings or sometimes even with neighbours. We end up fighting on a non issue and can never appreciate the other person’s perspective , since we think it is a non issue and since we do not understand or try to comprehend it ,from their view point.

Life is that way. Our ability to “let go” our ego is the biggest challenge before us. Our “ego” comes in the way, most of the times. A fight between two spouses can easily be resolved , if one is willing to be an active listener and is willing to let go and forgive the other. But, at the heat of the moment, nobody wants to do it and that is real.

However, as time passes in life, we realise that our ability to listen and let go ,can help us tide over most of the challenges we face in life. If we are willing to be patient, listen actively and let go our ego, most of the issues we face in life , are non issues. We may even laugh at ourselves after such an event, when we look back and realise how stupid or silly we could have been.

Let us learn to look at the world through other peoples’ eyes too.

S Ramesh Shankar

17th Sep 2023