Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Curiosity versus Judgement

I was at Kolkota yesterday and was keen to see the new engineering marvel. So, I travelled to Espalanade to take the first under water metro in India. As I was about to board the metro, a young kid asked her grandmother at the platform “Where is the water?”. I was amazed at the “curiosity” of the child. On the other hand, a few co-passengers commented after passing through the under water stretch that it was not a big deal – that is called “judgement”.

As children, most of us are curious and are keen to know ,everything around us. We are not afraid of asking the fundamental questions of “What, How, Why or Where? However, as we turn into adults, curiosity dies within us and we tend to judge on most occasions or sometimes fail to express our curiosity ,so that we are not judged by others.

This phenomenon is true within families, organisations or societies. Parents are keen to answer the questions of children ,when they have their first child and do not consider anything silly. But, as the child grows up or gets a sibling, parents tend to shut up the child ,as they think it is obvious. We may not realise that what is obvious to us, may not be obvious to the child.

A similar phenomenon is seen in the precincts of organisations. When a young trainee arrives on the scene, the trainee is curious and wants to learn everything around. They do not mind asking the questions and more often than not, get their answers. But, as the employee matures from trainee to a mid level or senior level employee, everyone assumes that they are expected to know everything around them. If a mid level employee asks a doubt, it is frowned upon and they are judged. So, curiosity of a trainee dies as they grow in seniority.

The society around us is equally ,non-forgiving. If a child asks a fundamental question, everyone around the child is keen to answer the child. But if a teenager or adult asks a similar basic question, they are looked down upon. This attitude to life and living ,makes us less curious in life and we become like robots ,reacting to situations and environment around us.

It may be time to ask – “How do we keep the curiosity alive in us ,right through our lives ?” It may be a journey of life long learning, if we are curious rather than judgemental. Curiosity quenches our thirst for knowledge ,while judgement kills it. It may not be difficult to preach but a challenge to practise ourselves.

Let the journey begin with our family today. The extension to organisations and communities will become natural . Let us start asking “How do bots work ?” Or “Why will AI take away jobs in the future ?” And trust me ,our future generation will be a learning generation.

Let us start with ourselves today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th April 2024

 

Fear versus Courage

We all are afraid of some things in life. On the other hand, we are courageous to take up other things in life. What causes fear and what promotes courage may be worthwhile to explore ?

If we recall our childhood, many of us are courageous ,in front of our grand parents but scared of our parents. Some teachers do not instil fear in us, while others do. Some managers give us all the freedom, while others terrorise us.

Now, we need to understand, what causes fear ? Parents who have grown up in a closed environment, where their parents believed fear was the best tool to instil discipline in children, practise and perpetuate the same.

Similarly some teachers believe that creating an open environment in the classroom ,could challenge their own positions. They may even be worried about their knowledge or skills being tested ,as they are scared of not knowing the answer or accepting lack of knowledge. The best teachers learn from their students ,as much as they teach them.

At the workplace, insecure managers and leaders ,can manage their teams ,only by creating fear in the minds of their team members. An inspiring leader ,will not be afraid to accept mistakes or be challenged on anything they say or do.

Fear is negative in all its forms, whereas courage is positive. If we create fear as parents, teachers or leaders, it reflects more on own insecurity rather than on our ability to manage our people.

Now, the question is “How do we eliminate fear ,in the environment we operate ? . It is by promoting curiosity and being accessible to your people. We need not know ,all the answers. We could take time to respond or sometimes even accept our lack of knowledge. Our teams respect us ,for how we treat them ,rather than who we are.

Fear could create a short term feeling ,that we are in command. But, the reality is that, it erodes our credibility in the long term. On the other hand, creating a friendly and open environment and encouraging our people to be courageous ,can enable us ,to be loved as leaders.

If we look around us in our own lives, we may realise that the best people we admire in our lives – be it relatives, friends, family or in the organisation or community around us ,are the people, who have encouraged us to lead a courageous life.

They have not instilled fear in us ,by their actions or deeds. On the other hand, they have promoted an environment of openness around us, which enables us to be courageous and make the right decisions in life. Even, if we make mistakes sometimes, it encourages us to accept our errors and learn from them.

We need to realise that “fear” is regressive, while instilling “courage” is progressive.

Let the journey begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th April 2024

 

Confidence versus Intimidation

A question often asked by youngsters is as to “ Where to draw the line between confidence and intimidation ?”. Where does confidence end and intimidation begin. Some people think that I am intimidating although I am just confident of what I am saying or doing.

We need to realise, that just like our fundamental rights in our constitution, everything comes with a rider. A fundamental right of speech does not mean that I can stand on top of a hill and abuse all the people around me, in a park.

Similarly, when we speak or do something in life, we have to exude confidence. This confidence comes from our practise. But, this does not mean that we do it in such a way ,that it makes people around us feel uncomfortable.

It is like a sportsperson playing with confidence. If a bowler ,bowls with confidence, her ball should do the talking and not her mouth. When the mouth does the talking it is called intimidation and when the ball does the talking and she takes a lot of wickets, it is called confidence.

In a group discussion, if a participant actively listens to others and speaks only when he has to make a point, it is called confidence. When the speaker speaks even when others are speaking ,just to dominate the discussion, it is called intimidation.

Everyone says that we know the difference between confidence and intimidation ,but how do we remember, in reality. This is also very simple. If we go to the gym everyday, we know ,when to start and when to stop. The day we cross our limits, we may either sprain ourselves or injure our ligaments.

Similarly, in life, we know when we intimidate others and when we are dealing with confidence. If we have a doubt in our minds, the simplest technique ,is to ask the people around us. It could be our family members or friends or colleagues. They can easily spot the difference and guide us.

If you drive a car with confidence, you end up safely to your destination. If you intimidate others while driving, to show off your style , there is a good possibility that you could meet with an accident or injure others on the way.

Life teaches us everyday ,in every way. We refuse to listen to our inner voice or the voice of others, around us. The day we listen, we change. If people around us love us, we are confident, if they hate our presence, we are intimidating.

The line between the two ,may be thin sometimes but we need to learn from the mistakes we do. If we cannot learn by ourselves, we can learn from others around us.

Let us exude confidence from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

4th April 2024