I have always wondered whether “Habits” influence our “Habitat” or the other way around. When I started my career 35 years back, I used to drink twenty cups of coffee a day. Not a good habit by any stretch of imagination. I justified it by the nature of my job and the people around me. So, I believed that the my habitat influenced my habit of being a coffee addict.

Twenty years back I was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctors told me that I could manage this disease by regular exercise and diet control without taking any medicines.
I cursed my bad luck and my habitat for inheriting this disease. I started walking and also attempted to control my coffee intake. But I always had a knack of skipping my walk or gulping an ice cream with a good excuse to justify my habit. Similarly, I would have another cup of coffee without realising that it is affecting my health. I continued to believe that my habitat was inducing my habit.

One day I returned late from office and told my wife that I would skip my evening walk. I went on to ask for another cup of coffee to relieve my stress after a long day at work. My wife smiled back and reminded me that both skipping my walk and the extra coffee was my habit and nobody else is impacted by it. The more walks I skip and more excuses I give to have extra cups of coffee, the more the impact on my diabetes.

This was a turning point in my life. That day I realised that I am responsible for any habit I have – good or bad. My habitat cannot be blamed for my habits.

I started walking regularly every day and controlling my diet. My walks are more or less regular and my diet almost under control. I did manage my diabetes without medicines for almost a decade. I had to start taking medicines after that since exercise and diet control was not enough after ten years because of my age.

I also reduced my intake of coffee and today I take a maximum of two a day. Both of these changes in my habits has ensured that my diabetes is under control and my yearly medical check up indicates I am fit.

In both these situations, I believed that my habits were due to the habitat around me. But after my wake up call, when I changed my habits, I realised that it was foolish to blame the habitat for my bad habits.

I learnt the hard way that my habits are determined by me and not the habitat around me. May be if I develop good habits, I could positively influence the habitats around me. It is not a easy change but it is worth a try. It took me about ten years but in the end I won and my habits lost.

You could consider influencing your habitat by your good habits. You need to first realise, then change and then you realise that life changes for the good and your habitat is influenced by your habits.

S Ramesh Shankar

The eternal debate of whether “Woman = Man ” gains significance every year only when we celebrate the International Women’s day. In my view, it is not a question for debate. After all each of us is born to a woman and a woman has nurtured us to what we are today. If married, a woman partners you and makes you successful in life and living. So, there is no need to debate but to live life respecting women in your life and treating them with dignity as you would like to be treated by others every day.

I sometimes wonder as to why men do not know “how to respect women ?”in their lives – at work or in life. It has to be as basic as food, shelter or clothing in life. It is important to remember that both men and women contribute in their own ways to a meaningful life. If we recall from our childhood, all of us were born to a woman and were brought up by both the man(father) and the woman(mother) together. Our mothers nurtured us while our fathers cared for us. In my view, man and woman play a complementary role in life. It is a “Jugalbandi”. Imagine a world only with Adam or Eve. Both Adam and Eve are necessary to give meaning to life.

As we have grown up, our sisters have contributed to the way we have grown and matured in life and our women friends have helped us balance life. Then once married, it is spouses, who have been with us through the ups and downs of life. It is the maturing of this partnership, which makes us successful and happy in life.

At work, women balance the way we think and act. We are privileged that in India, women have proved their capabilities in all walks of life. We can be proud of our democracy, which has produced a President, Prime Minister, Chief Justice, Speakers, Cabinet Ministers, Governors, Chief Ministers and many other prominent luminaries, who have excelled in their roles. We have women in the defence forces, sports, academia and professional world in almost all walks of life in society.

As in the photo above, my wife Meena and me studied from the same college. We have pursued our professions of choice and tried to excel in whatever we wanted to do in life. I owe my success in life to her in many ways.

So, one may ask – “Why celebrate Women’s day ? “. It is not to remember women only on this day but to remind the less literate amongst us that if we do not treat them with respect and dignity, we are less fortunate – not them.
So, happy women’s day. My gratitude and respects to all women in my life – at work and in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

Dear friend,

In this column, I will reflect on my thoughts, beliefs and values.  I will like to share my experience, learnings, failures and successes.

I will write my views on life and living. The views expressed are personal and I do not represent anyone or any organisation in this blog of mine.

I will be happy to learn from your comments and reactions.

Let us learn together,

Regards,

S Ramesh Shankar