Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Advice givers are many, advice takers are few

I was recently watching a music reality show on TV. One of the judges of the show said – “ Advice givers are many, advice takers are few”. This is true. Our parents, teachers and elders have given us valuable advice right through our lives but most of us have hardly heeded to those in our lives.

This is the reality of life. We may have many people around us who are old and wise or young and wild, who give us valuable tips in life but we ignore them. However, when a young person is willing to take your advice and work on it, it could change their life.

In this very episode, a famous music director shared his life story and said that when he went for an audition of a music reality show, one of the guest judges had advised him to improve his pronunciation and diction in a particular language.

This young aspirant did exactly that and today he has grown into a successful music director and earned a command over that language, where he is in a position to guide others and improve their diction and pronunciation.

In life, we may get advice, left, right and centre from people all around us. It is upto us to take the advice and work on it. If we think, that advice would be helpful to us, we can convert a weakness into a strength by working on that advice.

Most of the times, we listen to advice and forget about it. It is like the feedback we get from people all around us. It could be our family, friends or even colleagues at our work place.

If we take the feedback seriously and the advice to its logical end, we may benefit more than we may lose. It is like a coach’s advise to a sportsperson. If the sports person takes the advice early in their life and act on it, it is possible that they become champions. On the other hand, with all the talent in hand, if we neglect advice, we cannot blame anyone else other than oneself.

Life is no different in reality. It is important to remember that advice may not necessarily come from elders or more experienced people in our lives. It could be the younger members in our team or our own kids. It all depends on our maturity to accept advice from our hearts and act on them. If we do, we improve and if we don’t, nobody else gains from it.

In life and work, we may not get advice all the time. If we ignore valuable advice, even our well wishers may stop giving advise it to us. Like the famous quote in the Mahabharata called “Vidhurshastra” – “ you never give advise to an adult, unless asked for “. This might become a reality for us if we do not take the advise given to us as kids or youth as people may refrain to give advise to us as adults.

None of us are perfect. So, we need to get advice every day of our lives from people, who are better than us. If we are willing to listen and learn, we gain and if we do not, we lose.

Let us evolve as “advise takers” from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

14th Dec 2024

Out of sight – out of mind

All of us are born in this world at a particular time and leave this world at a pre-destined time. We grow as kids, study, work and then wait for the sun to set in our lives. We may be born at one place, grow in another, work in a third and live our sun set years in a fourth place.

Our friends from childhood remember us till we are in school and college and then they may disappear from our lives as we tread different paths in pursuit of their life goals. We grow up with our siblings and parents. But the family also disintegrates as we grow up and evolve into nuclear families of our own.

Then our children grow up, they study, settle in life and lead their own lives in pursuit of their career and life goals. Thus life comes a full circle as we move from one phase of life to another.

We do get attached to friends, family members and colleagues and feel bad when someone forgets us or does not recognise us when we meet them after years. This is human and natural.

But the phenomenon of human kind is such that the phrase – “Out of sight, out of mind” generally applies. People will remember us as long we add value to their lives and living. The moment they feel that we may be out of their sight or even not adding value to them, they may forget or avoid us. While as humans, we may feel bad about it, it is the reality of life. The sooner we accept it, move on and learn to manage it, the better it would be for us.

I have only seen animals, especially dogs, which have an unflinching gratitude to the family members, they grow up with. I recently saw a video, where an elephant did not allow a mahout to leave him and go away since their bond was timeless.

Humans on the other hand tend to fix a expiry date to every relationship. Children might find old parents or in laws as more of a liability than an asset , especially if the parents are financially dependant on them or failing in their health. Physical distance also tends to reduce the intensity of a relationship over time.

I would not like to generalise on any of the above. There would be exceptions in all relationships. I would not say every human being may forget you if you are not in their sight. I would not say everyone will be ungrateful. Further, I would not say all kids will consider their parents or in laws a liability in their lives.

But, the best thing for us to realise that we do have an expiry date. So, it is better to create value for ourselves in our lives. We as partners could create value for each other. A genuine and authentic relationship never fades. It is not distance or time that can fade a relationship.

Let us build and evolve into authentic relationships and move on from relationships that seem to devalue us as human beings in our life. We need to remember that nobody depends on us for our life time and neither we depend on anyone. We did come alone to this world and will depart from the world all alone.

Let us create our own world of happiness from within.

S Ramesh Shankar

14th Dec 2024

How much money is good enough for a happy life ?

We all aspire to do well in life. One of the first thing, which attracts us to measure our success in life is money. When we start our career in a corporate or even as an entrepreneur, we struggle to make both ends meet in our life. We dream of making it big in our career in a corporate or in our business and earning enough to live our dreams in life.

This journey of earning enough money, seems to be a journey with no end at sight. Whatever we earn, we tend to spend and wonder, why it is not enough, to fulfil our needs in life. What we sometimes forget, is that “needs” can be fulfilled but “greed” can never be quenched.

The day we realise that our needs are limited and greed is not, we may have arrived in life. It is like the river flowing down the plains from its origin. As the river flows, it may think ,it is going to expand and grow and never end. But, when it reaches the ocean and merges into it, it realises, that it does not even have an existence of its own.

Life is no different. We may start with meagre earnings, which may not even fulfil our basic needs. But, as we grow in our career or our business, we may go much beyond our needs and become greedy. It is at this stage, we become like the river flowing down the plains. We are overwhelmed by the greed and think that ,anything is not enough to fulfil our greed.

It is at this stage, we need to get a friend or family member ,to guide us and help us differentiate between needs and greed. If we are able to master ,this dilemma in our lives, we may become happier and more satisfied with what we have ,rather than aspiring ,for the ever eluding wealth in our lives.

Another good learning in life, is to compare with those, who have less than us. We are so privileged that we have a house to live in, good food to eat and family and friends to spend time with. But, there are millions of people around the world, who struggle to have ,two square meals a day.

The day we can distinguish between needs and greed, we may realise the meaning of contentment in life. Contentment is being happy ,with what you have rather than worrying about ,what you do not have. We always tend to compare ourselves with people, who have more than us rather than people, who do not.

I would not say ,it is wrong to aspire for more ,in life. How much more is good enough ,is the question ? Where is the threshold, which could make you happy ? If i have one car, I need two and if I have two, I would want a third and so on.

Happiness comes from within us. Gratitude and contentment, contribute immensely to happiness in life. When our needs are fulfilled in life and we think of supporting those, who have less than us, we become happier. Happiness is a state of mind and attitude to life.

The mantra to happiness in life is to fulfil our needs, understand the difference between needs and greed and be grateful for what we have rather than what we do not.

Let’s look within ourselves from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Dec 2024