Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Out of sight – out of mind

All of us are born in this world at a particular time and leave this world at a pre-destined time. We grow as kids, study, work and then wait for the sun to set in our lives. We may be born at one place, grow in another, work in a third and live our sun set years in a fourth place.

Our friends from childhood remember us till we are in school and college and then they may disappear from our lives as we tread different paths in pursuit of their life goals. We grow up with our siblings and parents. But the family also disintegrates as we grow up and evolve into nuclear families of our own.

Then our children grow up, they study, settle in life and lead their own lives in pursuit of their career and life goals. Thus life comes a full circle as we move from one phase of life to another.

We do get attached to friends, family members and colleagues and feel bad when someone forgets us or does not recognise us when we meet them after years. This is human and natural.

But the phenomenon of human kind is such that the phrase – “Out of sight, out of mind” generally applies. People will remember us as long we add value to their lives and living. The moment they feel that we may be out of their sight or even not adding value to them, they may forget or avoid us. While as humans, we may feel bad about it, it is the reality of life. The sooner we accept it, move on and learn to manage it, the better it would be for us.

I have only seen animals, especially dogs, which have an unflinching gratitude to the family members, they grow up with. I recently saw a video, where an elephant did not allow a mahout to leave him and go away since their bond was timeless.

Humans on the other hand tend to fix a expiry date to every relationship. Children might find old parents or in laws as more of a liability than an asset , especially if the parents are financially dependant on them or failing in their health. Physical distance also tends to reduce the intensity of a relationship over time.

I would not like to generalise on any of the above. There would be exceptions in all relationships. I would not say every human being may forget you if you are not in their sight. I would not say everyone will be ungrateful. Further, I would not say all kids will consider their parents or in laws a liability in their lives.

But, the best thing for us to realise that we do have an expiry date. So, it is better to create value for ourselves in our lives. We as partners could create value for each other. A genuine and authentic relationship never fades. It is not distance or time that can fade a relationship.

Let us build and evolve into authentic relationships and move on from relationships that seem to devalue us as human beings in our life. We need to remember that nobody depends on us for our life time and neither we depend on anyone. We did come alone to this world and will depart from the world all alone.

Let us create our own world of happiness from within.

S Ramesh Shankar

14th Dec 2024

How much money is good enough for a happy life ?

We all aspire to do well in life. One of the first thing, which attracts us to measure our success in life is money. When we start our career in a corporate or even as an entrepreneur, we struggle to make both ends meet in our life. We dream of making it big in our career in a corporate or in our business and earning enough to live our dreams in life.

This journey of earning enough money, seems to be a journey with no end at sight. Whatever we earn, we tend to spend and wonder, why it is not enough, to fulfil our needs in life. What we sometimes forget, is that “needs” can be fulfilled but “greed” can never be quenched.

The day we realise that our needs are limited and greed is not, we may have arrived in life. It is like the river flowing down the plains from its origin. As the river flows, it may think ,it is going to expand and grow and never end. But, when it reaches the ocean and merges into it, it realises, that it does not even have an existence of its own.

Life is no different. We may start with meagre earnings, which may not even fulfil our basic needs. But, as we grow in our career or our business, we may go much beyond our needs and become greedy. It is at this stage, we become like the river flowing down the plains. We are overwhelmed by the greed and think that ,anything is not enough to fulfil our greed.

It is at this stage, we need to get a friend or family member ,to guide us and help us differentiate between needs and greed. If we are able to master ,this dilemma in our lives, we may become happier and more satisfied with what we have ,rather than aspiring ,for the ever eluding wealth in our lives.

Another good learning in life, is to compare with those, who have less than us. We are so privileged that we have a house to live in, good food to eat and family and friends to spend time with. But, there are millions of people around the world, who struggle to have ,two square meals a day.

The day we can distinguish between needs and greed, we may realise the meaning of contentment in life. Contentment is being happy ,with what you have rather than worrying about ,what you do not have. We always tend to compare ourselves with people, who have more than us rather than people, who do not.

I would not say ,it is wrong to aspire for more ,in life. How much more is good enough ,is the question ? Where is the threshold, which could make you happy ? If i have one car, I need two and if I have two, I would want a third and so on.

Happiness comes from within us. Gratitude and contentment, contribute immensely to happiness in life. When our needs are fulfilled in life and we think of supporting those, who have less than us, we become happier. Happiness is a state of mind and attitude to life.

The mantra to happiness in life is to fulfil our needs, understand the difference between needs and greed and be grateful for what we have rather than what we do not.

Let’s look within ourselves from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Dec 2024

Life lessons form the dynasty of Pandyas

I went on a heritage tour of temples of the Pandya dynasty (3rd century to 8th century AD). This tour was more from a temple architecture, and history perspective rather than a religious one.

These heritage tours ,can be invaluable learning lessons, in our lives. If we are willing to learn from history, the opportunities to learn are limitless. Let me illustrate with my learning’s from the Pandya dynasty, which ruled South India.

While the learnings were many, I would like to highlight a few of them. It was indeed an eye opener for me and I learnt the following life lessons from the tour :

1. Being minimalistic : The Pandyas believed in minimalistic living. If we look at their architecture or living styles, we realise, it was more functional than exhibitionistic. They did not want to waste money on architecture, which did not serve any purpose. This proved that, although they had all the money needed to lead a pompous life, they utilised it effectively, to lead a meaningful life.

2. Fairness and equity : The Kings in the Pandya dynasty ,were guided by fairness and equity ,in all their dealings. Even succession of the king was defined clearly ,so that there is no conflict ,in the minds of their heirs. Managing land or distribution of rewards, was linked to contributions by the citizens.

3. Respect for all : One of the traits, which really impressed me was their respect, for all citizens. The well read were respected and so were the artisans and the farming community. Everyone was given their place and respect in society and made to feel valued ,for their contributions to the community.

4. Care for the common man: The king was always cognisant ,of the fact that ,all their actions should ultimately lead to the care of common man. The common man ,believed in the fairness and justice of the kings, since everything was done transparently and thereby kings earned the respect of their citizens.

5. Fairness in all trade dealings: Another important learning was the fairness in trade dealings. We were told ,that if a consignment got damaged or lost in the high seas, the loss was borne by the supplier and the customer ,in equal proportions. This was a sign of fairness, which was agreed upon, even before a consignment left the shores for the customer.

6. Respecting knowledge and rewarding intellectuals: The intellectuals were respected and rewarded. The men and women of letters ,were identified and given special land and houses ,so that they can continue to pursue their journey ,to acquire more knowledge. The society was geared ,to respect the intellectuals, at all times.

7. Transparency in all walks of life : Every process in the society, was attempted to be made transparent and fair ,for all citizens. For eg, how the elections are to be held for the local village communities, was well defined. It was also defined, as to who could contest and who could not. The criminals and their close relatives were debarred ,from participating in the election process.

8. Respect for all religions: Today, we speak of secularism and respect for all religions. The Pandyas practised this ,centuries before and their culture and tradition ,still pervades in the territories they ruled, during their time. There is no known case of religious intolerance in the towns and cities even today, which owe their lineage to the pandya dynasty.

9. Water management: Water has always been a valued resource, in time. The Pandyas taught us how to manage water by building dams and canals and ensuring availability of water, in all regions of their kingdom ,right through the year. Even today, we struggle in managing water effectively ,even in areas where there is abundant rainfall and natural sources of water, like rivers and lakes.

10. Managing finances: The Pandya Kings always managed their finances of the state ,very optimally. The kings believed ,never to touch the money inherited from their predecessors ,in the treasury. Every king believed in generating revenue and spending it ,for their citizens. This is quite unlike the modern governments, where the ruling parties empty the coffers before the next government takes over.

We have a lot to learn from history and heritage. Let us open our eyes today.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Dec 2024