Uncomfortable truth – “The way people treat you ,is a reflection of them. The way you tolerate it , is a reflection of you. “

I have spent my whole career in the field of Human Resources. Many employees have complained to me ,that they have not been treated well by their bosses, peers or even team members. I have always told them that we get ,what we give to others. It may be difficult to digest and also to practise. But, the reality is that, if we are able to get over this dilemma, then life is beautiful.

Let us focus on what is under our control and not on those things, which are not. We can treat people well without expecting anything in return. This may be difficult ,especially at a younger age. But, as we mature, if we are able to take this important step ,in building relationships, this may go a long way ,in our own lives at work and life, in general.

The question we have to ask ourselves is – “How do we treat everyone around us ?’ Many of us are kind and respectful to elders and seniors, at the workplace. Our behaviour dramatically changes with peers, subordinates and younger people ,around us. This dichotomy in behaviour is apparent and cannot be hidden ,for long.

We cannot have two personalities inbuilt in us. We need to learn to treat everyone around us well. It could be the house help at home, the security guard at work or the pantry staff. It does not matter. If we learn to treat everyone with respect and love, there is no reason ,they will not reciprocate the same.

There could be occasions, when someone in your family or friends circle or even at the workplace, may misbehave with you. As a youngster, our natural reaction is to hit back and behave, worser than them. However, as we grow in life and work, we may realise that our behaviour ,is a reflection of our personality and values. The behaviour of others is a reflection of them. The way we tolerate them ,is a true reflection of our nature.

One may argue that how do we react to someone ,who is misbehaving with you ? Yes, it may not be easy, especially at a young age or at the beginning of your career. However, the day we realise that our behaviour is under our control and the other person’s behaviour is beyond our control, we may be able to practise , this basic tenet for good relationships.

We need to mature to realise, that if we lose our temper or throw tantrums, it is a reflection of our own self and our control over our mind. On the other hand, a person who does not react negatively, to someone throwing tantrums or being impatient, is respected more, by others in the group.

The reality of life is that ,others treat us ,the way we treat them. If we respect others and treat them with love, we are likely to be respected and treated with love. On the contrary, errant behaviour may result in worser reactions and may get beyond our control.

Let us treat everyone well from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th June 2025